A Girl Gone

Fireworks lit the sky around the park in a blinding display of wasted money.

There, in between the spangled, was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen in my life.

The tentacles of smoke wrapped themselves around the stars as the bright ashes fell to the ground in an apocalyptic blizzard. While everyone was busy watching the bright lights, the shadow of a creature made itself visible for all to see. I wondered if it had always been hiding there under the surface.

The demon behind the smile of illusion that everything is going to be okay.

It waved and whispered my name before it faded away. I knew it wasn't gone forever.

David pulled me through the crowd as we left. I love how protective he is, but I get irritated at his giant steps.

At least he can't see my face.

He hates when I'm in deep thought and I'm already over my head as we get to the car.

I will officially turn forty years old in a half an hour. The lights from the clock keep drawing my attention.

11:31

I was born sometime around 10am I think, but the calendar will show my age shortly.

"Ride back like that," Roland dares as he keeps me from picking my clothes up off the ground.

"Hell no," I laugh at his dare.

"You ain't getting your clothes back," he says as he steps on my pile.

"Someone will see me!" I laugh as I panic on the inside.

"You like it," he says.

"You're the one who likes it," I argue. "Give me my shirt. My nipples can cut glass right now"

He laughs like the bastard he is.

"I'll give you your shirt," he counters. "That's all you get"

I put on everything else except my jeans and bra because I am always willing to compromise. Well, my socks have always been casualties in these situations. They were an extra item I used to wipe the mess from between my legs. Scott never noticed I was buying a package of new socks at least once a month. He didn't care to mention it if he noticed. I held onto Roland as we drove back to his trailer. Thankfully, no one was behind us and driving back to town in our lane. Cars passed going out, but everything happened so fast that I don't think anyone noticed. I had my jeans stuffed between us as only my T-shirt, panties, and boots protected the real me from the world. It felt good to be bad, but I knew I was out of control. Roland had my bra hanging from the left handlebar and blowing like a flag that had claimed the entire land.

I still didn't know if this was what I wanted or I wanted it because he did.

"Do you love me?" I asked David and broke the silence of our drive home from the 4th of July celebration.

Alice asked the white rabbit that same question.

My favorite book.

"Yes," David answered.

Had he said "no" like the rabbit, I would have wondered what was wrong with me, that he couldn't love me at least a little.

"White Rabbit" by Jefferson Airplane comes on the radio.

"What's so funny?" David asked.

"Nothing," I answered.

I couldn't explain the moment if I wanted to.

I kick my sandals off into the darkness of the floorboard and look down at my legs. The yellow light of the clock blends with the strobe of the streetlights as we drive down the highway. The simplicity of the new me sends shivers up my thighs and straight to my pussy. I pull my dress over my head and lay it on the floor neatly so it is ready to be thrown back on in an emergency.

"You're bad," David says as he runs a hand over my leg.

"The worst," I answer while sinking down in the seat and propping a leg up on the dashboard next to the door.

He rolls the window down for me. He knows what I need.

I just need this release at least once a day or I don't feel sane.

I'm nowhere near shy now. Back then, I was happy that my shirt was long enough that I could tuck it under me a little. A passerby would probably think I at least had shorts on.

Now there is no place to hide except the dark and the reality that few people see beyond what they want to see.

I can see David looking over at my foot on the dashboard. Of all of my exposed body, he concentrates on that.

Todd and Heather were not in the yard like I expected. I wanted to see their faces when we pulled up and I wasn't wearing pants.

Things are not always about me, though.

I know that now.

I didn't say I like it.

Roland laughed as soon as we walked through the door. At first it was infectious, and I laughed with him, not knowing why he was laughing. Then I saw Heather's face. That look of shame must be like blood in the water for men. Roland recognized it immediately. Then I looked at Todd's face and his look. He looked as though he just ate the canary.

"Heather," Roland said softly and politely, "Were you sucking Todd's dick?"

I opened my mouth and widened my eyes in surprise.. I laughed at the shock the best I could, trying to blow it off as just being another day in my life.

Heather didn't respond. It was the worst thing she could have done.

"Your lips look swollen," Roland teased. "I've only seen lips like that on a girl who just gave head for a really long time. Or Botox. Did you get Botox?"

She looked pissed, but I saw a little smile from the corner of her mouth.

"Have they always been that big?" Roland continued

"Fuck you," she laughed.

I played that whole scenario in my mind. That forever blowjob. The kind where you doubt your ability and want to stop and ask if you're doing something wrong. I have seen that a lot in younger men. Being the trooper I was, I continued with it until my jaw and temples hurt and my lips were tingling.

Scott would take an eternity to cum when I went down on him. Twenty seconds otherwise...

Slow and steady wins the race, ladies.

I sat down on the arm of the recliner next to Roland and was happy to get him a beer when he asked.

I called Heather over to the kitchen.

"What got into you?" I asked, "Well, I know what got into you, but what were you thinking?"

I never thought she would cheat on her husband.

"I don't know," she shrugged "I wanted to, so I did"

It was the most honest thing I had ever heard someone say and to this day, it's my favorite answer when I'm questioned on why I did something.

Roland couldn't take his eyes off her. That was something I noticed right away as I walked his beer back to him and his attention was on my best friend. I was insanely jealous then and wanted him to pay for it. I caught Heather pull her attention away from the television and glance at him before putting her head up against her arm and settling in. She knew to get comfortable when we came over. Roland and I usually fucked two or three times before we left. There were rare occasions he made it four times. I got the satisfaction of leaving him knocked out in his bed while I snuck out.

I got up after some time of daydreaming about going down on him right there. The whole thing played in my imagination over and over until I finally acted on it.

I stood in front of him to block his view of Heather. He had been making it extremely obvious by then.

He wasn't bothering to look away when she looked over from the heat of his stare. Everyone knows that uncomfortable feeling that someone is watching you. You think of everything that is wrong with you. Every imperfection surfaces.

I got down on my knees and rubbed my hands over his legs and to the crotch of his pants before giving a firm squeeze to the inside of his thighs where so much blood flows.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Shut up, Roland," I said as I unsnapped his pants and pulled the sides apart making his zipper come undone.

I leaned my head over his crotch and reached my hand inside. I didn't get him all the way out. Maybe halfway. Just enough to expose the extra sensitive part. The good part. I wrapped my lips around the head and sucked my cheeks in as I massaged my tongue underneath.

He moans. God, I wish I could bottle a man's moans and open it and listen anytime I wanted to. I'd spray a little on my chest and dab it behind my ears if I could.

His hand rested on my head, but didn't push me down further or even guide me. I already wanted his cock. He didn't need to do anything but enjoy the willingness of the act.

I knew Heather and Todd were sitting behind me, but I never thought of them once after I started. All I could focus on was the act. The suction to the head. Slowly lowering myself and rising again. How much I was enjoying being in control.

It was always amazing that it only takes a small push from one person to reveal who we are and what we really want.

My original plan was to stop suddenly after I knew I had at least gotten a little pre-cum from him. I was going to turn around and ask Heather to come over. There is really nothing to lose if you want to make a fantasy come true. People want to play. Sometimes you just have to ask.

When I turned around, I saw Todd sitting next to Heather and kissing her. His hand was up her shirt and she was running her fingers through his blonde hair. She had her legs spread out beautifully and was giving up completely.

Now I wanted to be with her more than anything.

"You wanna fuck her?" I asked Roland.

He responded with a smile.

"I know," I smiled back before sticking my bottom lip out and pouting.

I didn't feel like the young mother and wife that I was. It felt like I was the madam in a brothel and she was my girl to give away.

I stood up and pulled at Roland's arms until he stood up with me and followed me to the couch.

Todd and Heather never saw me coming. I didn't know a polite way to interrupt, so I forced my face between them to an expected laugh from both of them. I started kissing Todd before he knew what was happening. Roland pulled Heather from the corner of the couch. That's what I assume happened, anyway. I never saw it, but he could have only freed her from where she was. I continued kissing Todd and straddled him down on the couch. He was a good kisser. One of the best I ever met. That is important to me. I like to be kissed. His hands were on my hips in no time, and he was lightly tracing his fingertips over my skin. My hips are sensitive and he must have enjoyed the way I moved because he did it again and again.

"Stop," I said after laughing into his mouth.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm kind of ticklish there," I admitted.

He did it again and again, and I rolled my hips.

"You're a brat," I told him.

He just laughed and did it again.

I pulled his hand off my hip and placed it between my legs before I took my shirt off.

Todd rubbed my pussy through my panties until it was a wet mess between my legs.

"Take your pants down," I told him.

"Take your panties off," he answered.

I don't need to be told twice. I stepped off of him and took them off. He was still fumbling with his belt as I was standing there naked.

There was plenty of time for me to look back and discover that Roland had taken Heather to his room.

In all the years I knew Heather, I never imagined hearing her getting fucked, but as I was riding Todd on the couch, Roland was conducting an orchestra on her body. She moaned and squealed. Every time she did, I felt the muscles in my pussy clench on Todd's cock as I slammed myself down on him and wiggled a little until I was riding back on the tip. He was going crazy with it. I was just going with the flow of what my body wanted. What felt good as I listened to my friend getting fucked.

If Todd was going to take forever to cum, I was going to do whatever I could to prolong it even more. I wanted him on the edge until he couldn't take anymore.

I raised up and danced as I did before slamming myself down over and over. The sound of Roland's headboard hitting the wall was unmistakable to my ears. Still, I kept playing with Todd. I wanted to see them fucking. I wanted to sit on the floor on my knees and hold her hand. Brush her hair from her face. Tell her how beautiful she is when she's getting fucked.

I pulled Todd to the side and let him get on top. I knew he would find the pace he needed to cum quick. He did just that.

Too quick.

He collapsed on top of me. I love this part. The guy laying with his head on my chest or hiding it beside my neck while he lacks the energy to roll off of me. His hands moved under me and held my shoulder blades as I ran my fingers through his hair. It all means something at that moment.