A Formerly Shy Person

DISCLAIMER:

EVERYONE DIRECTLY INVOLVED WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER IN ANY WAY THAT INVOLVES ANYTHING REMOTELY SEXUAL IS OVER THE AGE OF 18.

NOTE: Another segment in Susan's ongoing exploration of her sexual predilections. I appreciate all the feedback - and agree - I should proofread more, though I make no promises.

***

I left Kristi and Rob alone for the next few days without interruption.

Well, Kristi and I did talk on the phone and email each other a few times. And she did send me the photos of myself. Revealed. Exposed. Open completely to Rob's eager glance, and I think, Kristi's.

I was ashamed and embarrassed and absolutely loved the feeling.

I spent those days looking at the images, revisiting my memories from the past two months, and fantasizing about situations, plausible and fantastic, that I might find myself in.

I also enjoyed watching Kristi and Rob, in various states of undress, and in the most interesting of contortions, through my binoculars. In our brief conversations, Kristi told me how much Rob enjoyed looking at me, and at the photos on her camera. And she told me that she was sure he'd not sent them to anyone else. I even got to watch, once, as the showed him her camera, and as he subsequently ravaged her on her bed. Thank you, Johann Lipperhey, oh inventor of my spy-tool.

Rob returned to Vancouver on Christmas Eve, and Kristi and I talked on the phone through most of the night. She was so happy with his visit - she'd really been worried about losing him now that she'd moved over to the island; those fears were back in the closet, safely put away for another few months (her words, not mine). "And thank you, for um, well, helping spice things up Susan."

"You're welcome, but you know, well, that I loved it all too. Thank you too."

We talked around my exposure, and giving myself up to her control, without really getting specific. At least until the end, where she said, "Check your email. Your Christmas present is there. Hugs!" She hung up before I could ask a single question.

Of course, the first thing I did then was get up, turn on my computer, and check my email.

___

fromspecial-k

subjectmerry christmas!

tosusan458

I bumped into Pandora Jenkins from school - you know, Cat Woman - and she invited us to a party at her place for New Years. And Joey's going to be there :P Anyway, I'll tell you about it when I see ya! And for Christmas, I'm going to buy you the same bathing suit you buy me - we can be twins!

Hugs and kisses,

Kristi!

___

I was going to a party? A real party? That was a gift I'd savor.

***

Christmas morning, day, and dinner were pretty normal. The gifts I gave were a success, and I received two that I wanted to share with Kristi.

I saw Kristi again on Boxing Day and, of course, we had decided to go to the mall. As she drove us there, I told her excitedly about the gifts I thought she'd appreciate: a webcam and money. The money would come into play today, because I'd told Kristi that I was getting her a bikini for Christmas and also to thank her for all she'd done for me while Rob was in town. She was pleased about that. The webcam, though, that really got her interest up, "Susan. A webcam? Hmmm....that has possibilities. I have one somewhere, but I think it's still packed from the move. I can't believe I've not been using it with Rob like I did when I lived over there."

"Oh," I questioned?

"Um...well. Yeah. Um. We used to have late-night dates when we couldn't get together. For a while I had him leaving his on 24/7 so that I could just tune in to see what he was doing and wearing - ha...who am I kidding. He was never wearing anything...and I liked that."

Kristi's candid confession got my mind racing more too.

"I'll help you set it up and we'll have some fun," was her someone ominous reply. I loved it.

Before the conversation could progress, she pulled into the mall's parking lot. Eagle eyed, I managed to sight a parking spot after 10 minutes of searching, and Krista managed to get there before anyone else.

"Are you ready?"

"Susan. I've never been more ready. Are you?"

"Let's roll."

We broke down into laughter as we got out of the car, ready to tackle the mall on Boxing Day.

***

We stood at the entrance, a big-and-tall shop on our left and a bank on our right. Neither was what we were after.

"Where do you want to go first, Kristi?"

"Susan," Kristi replied, "our first stop is the bathroom. I'm about to burst - and I want to fix your outfit a bit."

I looked down at myself, not sure if I was ready for how Kristi might fix my outfit - or all that sure about what was wrong with it in the first place. I was wearing a brown t-shirt dress that went down to a few inches above my knees, some sandals, and, really, not much else. If you've not been to Victoria in the winter, you may be surprised at just how nice it can be; sure it snows every few years, and we can get some rain, but today was 12°C (about 54°F for those of you in the US, Liberia, or Myanmar), and we'd both moved from the car, through the sun, into the warm mall.

Kristi was wearing a tight white, fitted t-shirt which clung to her breasts, showing a fair bit of cleavage, and an old pair of men's jeans which looked great on her. She and I agreed - most women looked far better in men's jeans than in women's - and the fact that they were old and threadbare in places helped draw boys' eyes to her. She loved it. And I admit, so did I. I loved seeing the glimpses of skin through the distressed fabric.

As we walked down the hall, Kristi tugged my arm and pulled me down a hallway. There was a door there with "Employees Only" on it, but an "EXIT" sign was above the door.

"Should we be here, Kristi?"

"It's OK, Susan. I always figure out where the staff washrooms are in malls. They're usually cleaner, fully stocked, and never busy. Here's the one for this wing of the mall."

Sure enough, there was a sign on a door a few feet ahead. "OK," I said, as she pulled me through the door, "I'll just wash my hands."

Kristi quickly entered the lone stall in the room while I went to the sink and checked my hair in the mirror. She was right, it was a clean area and even smelled of flowers.

Her voice came out of the stall, "Susan, do you trust me?"

"I think so? Why are you asking?" I was a bit concerned.

"I want you to take off your underwear and give them to me."

"W-why?"

"Admit it, Susan - you've thought about it. About not wearing any undies out in public."

"Um"

"Susan..."

"Well, yeah, I mean we've talked about it a bit."

Kristi didn't reply, and I felt I had to fill the silence. "Yes. I've thought about it."

"Well, hand them over." Kristi had emerged from her stall and had her big purse open in front of her.

I stood in silence. I just didn't know how to give in to my desire.

A quiet voice, calmly spoke, "Susan? Do you trust me Susan?"

"Yes," was my timid reply.

"We've never really said it out-loud. You love it when people see your body...see you naked, exposed...embarrassed even maybe?"

I couldn't speak, instead feeling myself turn bright red over my entire body. I was even shaking a bit.

Kristi's bag lowered in one arm and she reached out and took one if my hands in hers.

I stuttered a bit, but finally got out, "Yes."

"It's O.K., you know. Lots of people do. And even more like to look."

"Yeah, but...." I stopped talking, now know what to say in my shame.

"Why are you so worried?"

"I don't want anyone to think I'm a slut, or to have photos of me all over the internet." It came out all in one fast breath.

"Do you trust me? Think about it, because if you do, I think I can help you."

I did think about it for at least 60 seconds as she stood their patiently. "Yes."

"I think you know how much I like showing off Rob, and how much I enjoy being in control. Like a director, I guess."

I smiled as I thought of the times I'd seen him , thanks to Kristi's machinations. I felt some confidence coming back as I realized how much she shared with me. How much she trusted me. "Yes," I giggled in relief, "you're good at that."

"Then trust me now. I'm going to make sure that you and your reputation are safe - but also that you get some release. And I'll figure out ways to help you that lets people know that it's out of your control and not your choice. I've been thinking about this Susan. Trust me."

I looked at Kristi and realized I trusted her completely. "O.K." I looked her in the eyes and she looked back. Then she winked, I laughed, and she held her purse up and open in front of her again.

I reached down and slid my dress up my hips. I felt everything in infinite detail. The light cool touch of my fingertips along my hips raised goose bumps all over my body. I pulled the dress up high enough to reveal to Kristi my white briefs with a bright blue cat embroidered on the front.

"Cute!"

I hooked my thumbs over the top of the waist band of my panties and pulled them over and down my hips. I lifted my right foot and stepped out of them, quickly bunching them up and dropping them into Kristi's purse.

I looked at her, knowing I was bright red, and knowing that it was ok that she knew. Really, this wasn't my choice, as I'd said I'd do what she wanted.

She kept looking at me after I'd let the dress drop back down, and said, "Don't forget the bra."

I felt my flush deepen and I pulled my arms inside my dress and undid my bra, sliding it off my arms, and then out and arm-hole. I dropped it, too, into the purse which was then lowered.

"Was that so hard?"

"Kristi, I'm so embarrassed about this. I know it's not normal, but I can't help that I like it."

"You know I like the idea myself...but from the other side of things. I prefer to be the watcher and the exposer, you like to be the exposee. It's like the yin and yang of nudity. It's good. Now are you ready?"

"For what?" I was nervous. And, I must admit, getting a bit wet.

"We're just going to walk around for a while. We've gotta get you used to being without undies...at least enough that you're not bright red when you're not even flashing anyone, let alone know someone's looking."

I looked into the bathroom mirror, and laughed at how red I was. Being a fair-skinned red-head, I flushed easily as it was, and right now, ever bit of skin on my arms, neck, and face were pink. "O.K., give me a minute to calm down."

She laughed lightly, and that alone helped me to relax a bit. I took slow, deep breaths for a minute or so, and could feel my skin cooling down a bit. "I think I'm ready."

***

Kristi and I walked back down the hallway to the mall proper. I have to admit, I was glad to learn about the staff washrooms at malls; they were easy to access and clean.

As we opened the doorway to the main mall itself, my breath caught. It's true, I'd gone out sans panties before, but always alone. Even my forays to the pool, for the most part, were without anyone I knew. Here, now, my identity was known, as were my core feelings and emotions. I stepped past Kristi, who kindly held the door for me, and realized that everyone wasn't looking at me like I was some slut yelling, "Look at my bits!"

I was able to breath.

Kristi and I wandered the mall, basically window shopping as I calmed down fully and became more comfortable in my outfit. "Susan, how do you feel?" asked Kristi, recognizing, I think, that I was calm again.

"Wet," was my unthinking reply.

Kristi laughed, and I couldn't help but join in. "I mean, um, Kristi, I'm calm now, but I am aware of every step, of the touch of air on my body, of the fabric sliding against my skin."

"You know I don't always wear panties, but I can't really go without a bra and stay comfortable. And I have to say, Susan, without lines, you make that dress look even sexier. Until someone realizes that you must not be wearing panties or a bra, you just look fucking hot - after then realize, then it's super fucking hot!" She laughed.

I blushed now at her compliment, but it wasn't the flush of shame.

"And your nipples look amazing."

I couldn't stop myself from looking down, and realized that my nipples were pushing out, hard, through the material of my t-shirt dress. I flushed, this time in a lusty embarrassment, and crossed my arms in front of me.

"Don't do that."

It was a command, I realized, and I dropped my arms. It took a few minutes for my red skin to return to normal, but I continued to walk. As I started to consider those around me more, I noticed that most people didn't notice me, though now and then I got a smile, and more rarely a double-take as someone noticed my nipples as they glanced at me, and then looked back to make sure. I did my best to smile back normally to those that smiled at me, and to not notice those who stared at me.

"Feel like some shopping yet?"

"I think I can concentrate on other things now...thank you. Where to, first?"

"Let's go to the food court first. I need a coffee or something to wake me up. I was up late talking to Rob. And I've gotta tell you about the party."

I'd forgotten about the New Years party Kristi had mentioned in her email. I was excited to be going to my first real New Years party, and wanted to learn more.

Kristi found her over-priced coffee, added a dozen spoonfuls of sugar, and found us a spot at the counter at the top of the escalators. We sat down and began to talk.

"So I ran into Pandora at the grocery store the other day and we recognized each other."

I leaned in, keen to hear more about the woman I'd kissed at the costume party, albeit through my mask.

"We were in line together and she told me about the New Years party she was hosting. She's having a theme party to go with the Olympics this year, and asked everyone to dress up as some sort of Olympic athlete or in a sporting theme."

"'That sounds like a lot of fun,' was my response, Susan."

"Anyway, she asked me what I was up to, and when I told her that I was hanging out with my friend, Susan, from school, she knew exactly who you were. She said, 'She's the red-head right? That's always reading and really shy?'"

I was surprised she knew me, and said so.

"I admit that I was surprised to, but she told me she thought you looked 'nice and kinda cute' and that her friend Joey had asked her about you once."

I could feel myself flushing again, shocked and pleased that he actually knew I existed. Maybe I wasn't as invisible as I thought.

Kristi giggled, "I thought you'd like that part. Anyway, she asked if we wanted to come to the party. Do you want to go?"

"YES!"

We both laughed then and Kristi continued, "Anyway, I told her we'd be there for sure. It's at her house. She said there would be about 20 people there, just friends – not some house-wrecking party – and that they'd love to get to know us better. When I asked about costumes, she told me that we could dress up as any sport we wanted really, not just Winter Olympic sports. She and a friend are going as figure skaters, so that costume's out, but we can do anything else we want. And we have to do some sort of sketch or act of our sport in action."

"Wow. Any ideas? This sounds like fun, and if I have a drink or two, I might even be able to do the performing thing. That scares me though – getting up in front of people is hard for me to do."

"You're a fun mix of contradictions Susan. I love it."

We laughed again and chatted about costume ideas. Kristi decided that sexy was the key, which ruled out my earlier hockey-gear idea. Neither of us having the money to buy fancy outfits ruled out slick full-body ski-suits etc, and I didn't own any real winter-wear anyway.

"What about tennis players," questioned Kristi?

"Hmmm...," I considered whether I could be around people that I knew in such a short skirt, "I think I could do that!"

Kristi looked at me, smiling, "That'll be great. We can go buy some little tennis skirts and shirts today."

I thought about it. To be surrounded by classmates, wearing a little skirt and a tight shirt excited me a little. I'd have no anonymity, but I would have a real reason to be dressed that way. And Kristi would be there too.

"And I think there are some rackets in our garage from when my brothers played," Kristi said.

We talked a bit about what we might do, as a routine, but didn't come up with much.

As we walked and talked, I had almost forgotten about my state of dress. My nipples, I realized when I caught my reflection in a window display's mirror, were no longer hard, but did puff outward notably from my small breasts. That reminded me of my state of dress - but I continued to be more relaxed. Nobody was getting angry or pointing. I caught the odd stare, but nary a glare. It felt good, and I felt sexy. But I didn't feel ridiculed or derided. I was OK. I felt appreciated by those that smiled at me.

We went into the Sport-o-Matic in the mall, and quickly found the tennis skirts and shirts. We talked about whether or not we should match and about what style of shirt to get.

We finally settled on matching white, pleated tennis skirts that came in both our sizes. I slide one over my skirt there and then and after doing it up realized it came about 2 inches below the moon of my ass; Kristi did the same over her jeans, and found hers to hang even higher. We then found some stylish light green lycra-cotton blend polo shirts with a deep v-neck. We decided to try everything on to make sure it fit, and went over to wait in line for a change-room.

As we talked about the aspects of our outfits we liked, a girl in front of us turned around, and her face lit up.

Pandora started wishing us both, "Merry Christmas" and asking us if we were going to make it to her party. Kristi did the talking, and I tried to not appropriately. Being known as 'shy', it seemed acceptable for me to be quiet. I'd have participated fully, honestly, if I hadn't been distracted by the man standing beside Pandora. As he realized she was talking to people she knew from school, Joey turned around, and gave me a stunning smile.

I think I managed to smile back, likely looking like I was stoned on something - I'm sure I had a glazed look.

"Hi," he said in a voice I recognized all too well from my eavesdropping around school. And that party.

"Hi Joey, I'm Kristi," came Kristi to the rescue, "and this stunned girl is Susan. She's a bit shy."

"I'm not that shy, I just didn't expect to run into so many people from school. Um. Happy Christmas." I did find my voice.

It was as though I'd realized, for the first time, that I could speak up, and it was all right. God I was shy and pulled back from the world.

"How have your vacations been so far?" I was confident in a way I'd not been before.

Before Joey could respond, Pandora started up, telling us about what she'd been up to, and about her brother who was visiting from Kelowna. Joey winked at me, catching me smiling at Pandora's open way. I blushed down to my chest, I'm sure, and was suddenly very aware of how closely my sole garment hugged my body. Joey's eyes flickered between my face, Kristi's face, and my body; he really did a good job of trying not to look, and the fact that he couldn't succeed did a good job on me. I could feel my nipples hardening and knew that the change would show through the thin fabric of my dress.

Pandora fully caught my attention when she said, "Oh, I'm sorry I'm talking so much. I've just always wanted to meet you. But I've never wanted to intrude on your reading. When you read, you look like you're in another world, and nothing else could matter to you. I'm Pandora and this is Joey." And then she reached out and gave me a hug. I could feel my hard nipples brush against the texture of her wool sweater.