By the time we arrived at the Norman Manly International Airport in Kingston it was early evening and already dark, but when we stepped outside the air-conditioned airport we knew we had arrived somewhere deliciously warm compared to the city we had just come from. The sweet tropical scent of frangipani and jasmine was heavy in the air, along with the chirruping of crickets and cicadas.
Although security in the laid-back Caribbean was less obtrusive and paranoid than it has become in most places in the world, it had still taken us longer than we expected to get through customs, mainly because we were carrying so much less luggage than most tourists would for what was supposed to be a two-week vacation. They insisted on very carefully searching what few possessions we had, although neither of us could imagine that they were looking for drugs on the way in. Jamaica's reputation for easy access to home-grown 'erb made it unlikely that many people would bring their own recreational substances with them to these islands.
The customs officers were extremely polite and happy as customs officers go, and they were very amused by Amy's explanation that we intended to spend most of our time in Jamaica stark naked, which is why we had so few clothes with us. Sometimes I was sure that Amy says things like that just to shock people, just to see their reaction as she jerks them out of their comfort zone. At other times, like on this occasion, it seems as if what she says is completely innocent, and that planning on being naked for the next two weeks is a perfectly ordinary reason for arriving in a country with next to no spare clothing.
I was pleased to see the 'Fantasia' stretched limo waiting outside the main entrance as Amy had been promised, with the door being held open by a very large and very black driver who introduced himself as Jimmy. He wore a truly enormous floral shirt and a big smile.
"You folks make yourselves comfortable. We'll be at Fantasia in about half an hour," said Jimmy, as he helped us into the limo and closed the door. He pronounced every part of the word 'com-for-tab-le' in that uniquely West Indian way, as if each syllable was a separate word that deserved the time to be appreciated on its own.
When he had stowed our bags in the trunk and settled into the driver's seat, Amy tapped on the window behind him, and Jimmy lowered the glass barrier and twisted round towards her in his seat.
"Was that half an hour of our time, or half an hour of 'island time'?", asked Amy.
"Island time is all we got 'round here," said Jimmy, still smiling. "But there's re-fresh-ments in the cabinet. Help yourselves."
We were not in desperate need of anything alcoholic, we had already had more than enough to drink while we were strapped into our six-mile high metal tube, so as Jimmy put his window back up and pulled away from the curb, we both settled back into the very comfortable seats with a mineral water, and stretched our legs out. The journey so far had left both of us crumpled and tired, not surprisingly, and we both wanted a shower more than anything else.
Amy knelt forward and tapped on Jimmy's window , and it swished down again.
"Jimmy, we're not stopping anywhere else before we get to the resort, are we?"
"No, ma'am. You're the last to arrive tonight, and the next stop is Fan-tas-i-a."
"Goody, then do you mind if I get naked now? I'm in holiday mood."
Jimmy paused for a moment, then said, "That's fine with me, but you'll need to check in when we get there, and the re-cep-tion is not a clothing optional area."
"What do you mean, not a 'clothing optional area'? I thought the whole place was clothing optional."
"No, ma'am. Just the beach and the pool bar. And in your own villa, of course."
"That sucks! It didn't say that on the website. It had all these pictures of naked people."
"That's right. But not in the restaurants and bars and the other com-mon areas."
"I think that's false advertising, Jimmy, but thanks for letting us know."
Amy was peeved by this news and slumped back in to her seat.