A/N: Please note that this is a novel-length story. It will be a sweet, slow burn until Ch. 06 for these two, but we promise that it will be worth the wait.
~ LivANDJay
--- Chapter Three ---
"Whew... I think that worked," Nathan whispered when we finally made it out of the hall and back into the living room.
"I knew one of your stories would do the trick," I said. He had done such a good job I didn't even add in a jibe about him boring them to sleep. Nate smirked to himself as we tip-toed our way down the hall. He led us into the kitchen where he recovered the glass he had drained before dinner and then went to the liquor cabinet to refresh his drink.
"Some nights I really envy Darren... Kate and Lewis are so great," he said, his eyes glazing over a little a he uncapped the bottle and started to pour. His tone had a kind of thoughtful consideration to it. "I know I'm putting the cart before the horse, but do you know if that's something you need from life?" He asked as he finished pouring his drink and turned to face me. I stood there for a moment, reeling from the question. We had been lucky enough to have time here and there to talk about his novel and have a quick catch up over the past couple of years, but questions like that were much deeper than we usually dealt with.
"I... uh, well yeah," I admitted with a shrug. I hadn't really talked to anyone but Hannah about that kind of thing. She knew from how much I adored her kids that I wanted some of my own one day, and even though Darren was the last kind of person I would ever want to be with, I wanted a relationship like the one they had. There was so much love, understanding, and commitment between the two that you couldn't help but get dewy-eyed just thinking about it.
"Honestly..I was hoping that my last few dates may put forth some suitable candidates to do that with, but they were all flops. I'm not having any luck at all. I'm kind of starting to wonder if it'll ever happen for me," I lamented as I leaned against the bench.
"It will. You're too wonderful to wind up alone..." Nate said, as he put the drinks away. I was glad his back was to me because he wouldn't see the way that his comment made me blush. I cleared my throat and stood a little straighter as I watched him, trying to play it cool when my heart was fluttering against my ribs like a caged bird.
"And what about you?" I asked casually. I had a feeling I already knew the answer, but I was curious to see if I still had a good read on my best friend, or if time and distance had changed things.
"If they turn out like those kids, absolutely..." Nate said smiling, but then his smile faltered as he turned away to clean up the kitchen a bit more. I could see the tension in his shoulders, and it was still there when he turned back to me, drink in hand, and led the way to the back door. "Come on, can't leave the parents unsupervised for much longer..." He said. Now he was the one pretending to be casual. My brows furrowed at that change in him, and I reached out as he went to move past me, resting my hand on his forearm.
"Hey, Nate, that was a bit of a flip... What's going on?" I asked, picking up on the internal conflict that answering his own question had caused.
Nate rubbed his arm as he looked away.
"I... don't have the best habits sometimes... and I don't want that to rub off on my kids or wind up being a bad dad if they show up at the wrong time..." He said, dancing around what those habits could possibly be. I frowned as I looked up at him as I kept my hand on his arm, his skin warm under my hand. I was tempted to ask what could be so horrible that it would worry him so much, but I filed it away for another time.
"Well, Darren has some hella' bad habits, but Kate and Lewis are beautiful. Nate, I don't know what kind of bad habits you think you might have, but I am pretty certain you'd make a great father," I said to him, keeping my voice low so we wouldn't be overheard if someone opened the back door.
Nate's smile warmed as he looked over at me. "I'm glad to have you a lot closer if you're going to be my cheerleader like this," He said, pulling me into a quick hug before he sighed and let go. "Come on... they're probably-"
With a smooth schlick the back door slid open and Darren's voice drifted into the living room.
"Thanks for getting the kids to bed, Uncle Nate and Aunty Nessa... Ooh, you know, that does have a nice ring to it..."
Nate's mood was ruined instantly by the ever present niggling of his family. He strode across the yard and stood over his older brother, pointing down at him. With the two men standing so close it was clear that Darren really was the little-big brother.
"Enough, okay? You will not start this nonsense with Kate and Lewis too. It's bad enough that I hear it from everyone in my family already," Nate warned in a tone that I don't think I had ever heard before. I struggled to remember a time when he had been so angry. I raced over to defuse the situation as Darren stepped back, looking somewhat shocked at suddenly being stood over like that. He was used to pushing people around, but not to them pushing back. Maybe this was what he needed.
"Nate, it's fine, your brother's just being a dick," I said, glaring at Darren as I stood up beside Nathan. I put my hand on Nate's arm, hoping to pull him back a little. Hannah, who had been sitting on one of the outdoor chairs turned in her seat and watched. She had such a preternaturally keen radar for tension ever since Kate and Lewis learned how to bicker.
"Yes, he is, and I will not have his behavior spread to his kids," Nate continued, not wanting to let it go this time, especially as the kids were in bed and were clear of hearing any arguments.
"Hey!" Darren snapped, standing a little taller and meeting Nate's eyes as his children were drawn into the argument. "Watch what you're saying mate. You have no idea how I've been raising my kids. And what I said? It was a damn joke. When did you lose your sense of humour?"
I looked over at Hannah, dumbfounded by this turn of events. She met my eyes and gave me a nod, slipping out of her chair and walking over to join us. She stood beside Darren, sliding her hand into his. He didn't even seem to notice.
"I lost it when your joke entered year twenty-five of use... Will you finally just drop it? I don't want Kate and Lewis picking up this habit," Nate said. I could see in his face that this was probably a long time time coming. Everyone has their breaking point and it seemed like he had reached his.
Darren rolled his eyes.
"I don't see what the big fucking deal is," He said, throwing his hands up in the air. "As you said, it's been going on twenty-five years. You think you'd have learned to take it with a grain of salt by now."
"Just keep it from ticking over to another generation. I can take it from you, but not from them. They won't know any better," Nate said, his shoulders deflating as some of the fight seemed to go out of him. He turned to walk away.
Now, Nate might have been the kind who was able to walk away, but Darren wasn't. After how Nate had fired up at him it was clear that it would take a while to cool his temper. Hannah tugged on his hand to draw him away, but he couldn't help but let words fly anyway.
"What's the problem with it, anyway?" Darren asked, stepping towards Nate. Nate stopped in his tracks and everyone else froze.
"You know what the problem is... I've been hearing that crap all my life; at some point you have to accept things how they are." Nate didn't even bother turning around.
"Yeah, and maybe at some point you have to accept that you and Vanessa would be great together, even though you're too stupid to see it," Darren snarled, turning on his heel and going to walk away, the smug look on his face showing that he clearly thought he had the best last word.
"Darren!" Hannah tugged on his hand roughly, fixing him with a nasty glare. I stood there, breath caught in my throat, knowing that Darren may have just taken it too far.
"Well, shouting at me to do it for twenty-five years hasn't worked, maybe another twenty-five will! Do you know the definition of insanity, Darren?" Nate's voice was loud enough now to draw the attention of the parents sitting down-wind. They all sat up a little taller as they turned to see what was going on.
"No, actually I don't, but I'm sure you do though since you're bloody insane. Why don't you tell me?" Darren snapped, stepping closer to Nate and puffing his chest out. I think we could all see that the tension was reaching breaking point between them now.
"Darren, don't do this," Hannah hissed, pulling on his other arm. I watched, looking between to two brothers.
"Because talking about her like she's my wife around the kids isn't going to suddenly guilt me into pursuing her anymore than all the talk about it until this point!" Nate growled, his finger jabbing in the air towards me.
His words hit me like a physical blow. All of the breath whooshed out of me and my stomach spiraled down a hundred meters. My fingers unwound from Nate's and my hand dropped to my side as my shoulders sagged. Seeing how his words had affected me, Hannah pushed forward and stood between the two brothers.
"Right, that's enough, from the both of you!" She snapped in her best 'mum' voice. "She is standing right next to you, and her name is Vanessa. You should show some more respect for your best friend. And just for the record, Vanessa is the best damn aunty my kids could ever wish for, and that has nothing to do with whether she is with you or not! She has been there for both of them since the moment they were both born, more so than my own sister ever has been. So this isn't about you, alright?" She chastised, holding Nate's gaze until he backed down.
Then, Hannah rounded on Darren.
"And you?" She poked his chest with a rough jab of her finger. "You need to learn when to back the hell off." She then snatched up her husband by the elbow and dragged him away, whispering furiously at him with each step they took.
~*~
Nate and I just stood there, side by side, unable to look each other in the eye. It had been so long since I'd seen him and Darren fight that it was a shock to my system. And the other part of it? Well, his words were like a steel fist clenching around my heart; even if it was clear that he recognized he was wrong. An unsteady silence filled the back yard as Hannah and Darren went off to talk and the parents went back to their conversation, leaving Nate and I alone to deal with the fallout of what just happened.
"Nessa, I..." Nate started as he tried to find the words. "I... can't begin to apologize enough. After dealing with my family and their incessant pestering, I- I guess I'm defensive about how they talk about us. I try to nip things in the bud before they get new ammunition to use... like I did here.I should have known better and I'm sorry that I made it about me again."
Even after saying it, he couldn't look me in the eyes.
I let out a soft breath to delay whatever response I would have to scratch around in my brain for. I couldn't find the right word to express how I was feeling. There were so many emotions tearing at me inside, spurred on by the adrenalin from witnessing that encounter.
"It... It's fine," I lied quietly, even though it clearly wasn't.
"No, it's not..." Nate said as he turned to face me. "Do you want to go somewhere and talk?" he asked, looking a bit more worried now.
