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Author's Note:
Apologies, I had originally intended to finish "Wounds" in four parts. With the big gap between the last posting, I decided to split the last part into two. This is part 4 of 5 in "Wounds".
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CHAPTER 10
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Janelle looked around the large, vast space inside the museum. She walked slowly through the museum, admiring the wall of rifles, mannequins dressed in old uniforms, frames upon frames of black and white photos...
She was at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot Museum in San Diego.
It had been two months since she and Mia moved down to San Diego with Ezra. After some discussion with Ezra, they both agreed that preschool was important for Mia's developing social skills.
Finding a satisfactory preschool was not a difficult task, but Ezra refused to let Janelle immediately jump back into work.
"It's not hard for me to find a waitressing job, like I did in Seaside!" Janelle protested.
Ezra was gentle but firm, "You need a break."
"I don't need a break." Janelle fought back, "I need money to pay for her school!"
"You don't need to pay rent, and I can pay for the preschool."
Janelle felt a rush of blood to her head. Words came out of her mouth before she could think, "I don't want your money!"
As soon as she said those words, she regretted them. She looked down at the floor and bit her lips. She didn't know how to express all the emotions that were welling up inside her.
She was grateful for Ezra's help, but she didn't want to be dependent on anyone. After Tom, she learned the valuable lesson that she needed to be financially independent.
"I'm sorry..." she stumbled, "It's not that - I don't mean to be sound so ungrateful - I don't know how to say it...I just don't...I don't want to owe you...I mean...owe is not the right word either. I just...oh god! please understand where I'm coming from."
She felt Ezra lean closer to her. She was staring at his jeans, knowing what was underneath them. She still marveled at how well he had adapted to his artificial limbs.
"Janelle, when was the last time you didn't work, either as a parent or as an employee?"
Janelle thought in her head. She had been working part-time or full-time jobs since college. She only stopped "working" as a paid employee for the few years after Mia was born, before she took up work again at Bright Horse.
"I guess never." Janelle replied.
"What do you want to do for work?"
Janelle looked up in confusion, "What do you mean?"
"If you have the freedom to find a job you love, what would it be?" Ezra asked, "Would it still be waitressing at a restaurant? Or at a bank like you did before Mia?"
Janelle's eyes were wide.
She did not know that was an option - to think of not just finding a job that pays the bills, but to actually do something she would...enjoy...?
"I...don't know." She felt her heart pumping. Something was stirring inside her.
She saw Ezra smile, "All I'm saying is you can afford to take a little break. Go explore San Diego for the few hours Mia is at school during the day. Make some friends. I know you will figure out what you want to do. You deserve a break."
Tears welled up in her eyes, "I don't deserve this." She sobbed.
I don't deserve to have someone be this nice to me. Not from someone who has suffered so much more than I did.
Ezra hugged her, "You deserve everything."
Two months had passed since then. She followed Ezra's advice and explored San Diego. Mia's preschool was only 3 hours a day, so between dropping of her at school, grocery shopping, running errands, and not getting lost, the three hours pass by surprisingly fast each day. She took walks at Balboa Park, hiked the trails at Point Loma, played tourist at Coronado, and by complete accident, began to take yoga classes at a nearby studio.
She had walked by the studio multiple times on her way to the grocery store in the mornings. She noticed the happy glow of the students leaving class, their cheeks flush from the exercise and their bodies toned and beautiful.
She looked down at her own body. She felt sluggish and unattractive.
One day, she finally struck up the courage and walked into the studio. The studio smelled good. The staff was friendly and handed her a rental mat. "Just follow along." She was told.
She stumbled in class. She didn't know what she was doing. The teacher came over several times and gently adjusted her posture.
Yet, she felt incredibly calm and happy.
Since then, she had been setting aside two days a week to go to class. With each class, she felt more and more confident with her body. She had even begun to make friends with the other regulars.
She heard footsteps behind her. Ezra waved at her. She smiled as he approached. They were having a lunch date at his work.
"Did you come from the yoga class?" Ezra asked as they sat down at a table in the Bay View restaurant, "How was it?"
"Oh, I love it!" Janelle beamed, "And I made a friend today! This woman - Beatrice - has been going to the same class that I go to. She told me she's worked as a recruiter in several companies and is willing to take a look at my resume and give me some career advice! Next time I see her, I am going to invite her out for coffee and have my resume ready."
"That's awesome. I'm glad the yoga class is working out for you."
"Yeah, and I feel so much stronger now, too!" Janelle could not conceal her excitement, "Like, I actually managed to hold a side plank in class today. Even though it was for, like, three seconds, I still felt like it was an accomplishment."
"Well, I definitely have to agree with that." Ezra said smoothly as he took a bite of his food, "You were already pretty, Janelle, now I have to say you are just fucking hot."
Janelle's face turned red hot. "Uhm...thanks..." She stuttered.