White Spruce Ch 05

WHITE SPRUCE Chapter 5

If sharing is caring, then the girls cared about me a lot. Alicia was the only one who could see me during the day, when I was working nights, unless it was a Sunday, when all three of them had the day off. When I was on days, Nicole and Anne could see me in the evening. They didn't create a schedule, or anything like that; it was largely up to me to make sure that things evened out.

Regular sex did wonders for my mood. I had more of a spring in my step, and a more positive attitude, probably because I had more to look forward to. That frame of mind began to seep into my dealings with other people. It was fairly simple: I was in a better mood, and wanted people around me to be happier as well.

I began talking to my partner more. Ibrahim wasn't very talkative, but as we patrolled the Perimeter Road one night, I was able to draw him out a little. Maybe it was just the right time, or maybe I found the right question.

- "Did you request a transfer from your last job? Is that how you got here?"

He snorted at that, and then he actually chuckled.

- "No, Mike."

- "What's so funny? I'm sorry if it was a stupid question..."

He thought that over for a minute. The silence went on, and I started to wonder if we were just going to pretend that I hadn't asked.

- "It's not a secret, but I would prefer that it was not generally known." he said. "Can I rely on you?"

- "Yes."

- "Good. I believe that you are an honourable man, and it will be good to finally tell someone. My wife fell ill. They flew her to the hospital in Prince Albert. I asked for a transfer to somewhere closer, so that I could see her. I was foolish enough to think that this would not be difficult. My Captain quickly disabused me of that notion. 'Ibby', he said 'I can't even pay someone to take you off our hands. We don't want you, but neither does anybody else'.

- "He actually said that?"

- "Oh yes. I knew that I wasn't popular, but I had no idea that I was universally disliked - at least among the guards."

I remembered what Tess had told me about hospitals, and the likelihood that we would never see Sheila again.

- "Did your wife recover?"

He bowed his head, and let out a deep breath. "No."

- "I'm sorry."

- "Thank you. No, she never came back. I was sent a photograph of the urn that supposedly contained her ashes."

- "That's awful. That's... it's just wrong."

- "Yes. It is very wrong. But there was very little sympathy for me among my colleagues. 'You gotta move forward' was perhaps the kindest thing any of them said to me. One guard told me to 'Suck it up'."

- "No."

- "Oh yes. You know it for yourself. I have heard our colleagues here talking - and what they say about you and Claire. I may not speak often, but there is nothing wrong with my ears."

- "When did this happen, Ibrahim?"

- "A year and a half before I came here. I became even more uncommunicative. My mourning made me even more unpopular. No one wanted to partner with me. The Captain made everyone take turns being 'stuck with me'."

- "Sounds familiar." I said. "For me, it was after Trey died."

- "I heard about that, too. Would you believe that I am tolerated here, primarily because it means that no one has to partner with you?"

- "I knew that."

- "But my own situation in Laloche grew steadily worse. I became the target for practical jokes. Mean-spirited pranks, really. I would find that my lunch had been tipped out, and replaced with a dead squirrel, or some animal droppings."

- "What?"

- "Someone urinated in a glass, and tried to present it to me as apple juice. Someone defecated just outside the door to my apartment. It became somewhat of a contest, as they tried to outdo each other. I finally told the Captain. He advised me to 'go with the flow', and that these 'pranks' were meant to be taken as jokes."

- "What did you do?"

- "I paid them back in kind. Spoiled their food, left dead animals in their carts. I even defecated in the Captain's cart. I am not proud of that. And he did not find it funny - especially when I told him that I was sure that it was meant to be taken as a joke. Well, the Captain decided to transfer me. But he could not find anyone willing to take me."

- "Except us?"

- "No. It was months later. Your Captain Stanton either knew my Captain, or else he remembered the desperate pleas from Laloche. I don't know what sort of bargain they struck, but my Captain was inordinately pleased to be rid of me. And that, Mike, is how I came to be here."

- "Well,

I'm

glad that you are."

***

I had to ask Tess.

- "Do the golf club pros know each other?"

- "Quite a few them do, yes. Emerson Howard goes to a convention every winter. Many of the pros from Western Canada attend. I'm sure they tell stories and compare notes."

- "What about the Captains?"

- "Well, I don't know if they meet in person, but they certainly deal with one another. Remember what I told you about informers? The Captains arrange to trade informers when they become stale. They also provide promotions for friends or family. Say for example that Captain Phong had a good candidate to be his second in command, but he already has a reliable guy in that spot. He could recommend the candidate to a couple of other clubs - especially if he knew that they were looking for someone."

- "Does it also work in reverse? Do they trade away staff they

don't

want?"

- "Well, they'd all like to, but nobody's going to accept a rotten apple from another club unless they're trading them their own rotten apple. It's risky: the one you get might be worse than the one you got rid of."

- "Hmm..."

- "Is this about Ibrahim?" said Tess.

I was stunned. "How -?"

- "It's not that hard to figure out, Mike. He's an outlier, too. He doesn't fit in with the other guards any better than you do."

- "Tess, please don't say anything to him. He told me in confidence."

- "I wouldn't. But it wasn't really a secret. Ibrahim's club wanted to move him out, and Phong or Stanton saw an opportunity to pair him with you. And now that other Captain probably owes them a favor. That's how these things work."

Now I had even more to think about.

That was in addition to thinking about Claire. I still dreamed of her. I thought it was odd, considering that I was having regular sex with three women - all three friends of Claire. The variety was great, and I couldn't complain about the frequency.

But Anne had been right; we could call what we did 'making love', but it wasn't what I'd had with Claire. I liked Anne (especially when she wasn't performing her 'hiding' routine). I cared about her, too. It just wasn't the same.

If Claire somehow miraculously returned, I would have apologized to Anne, Alicia and Nicole, and immediately stopped seeing them. It wasn't a question of whether Claire would have wanted to share me with her friends -

I

wouldn't have wanted to.

I was having fun, for sure. I had friends, and a sex life that most males would be envious of. I just didn't have a partner. Was that how things were going to be for me?

It was a Sand Trap night. I'd be with Nicole tomorrow night, but this was time with all of the girls. I got there a little earlier than usual. I smiled and nodded to Alicia, who immediately began pouring me a beer.

Only Anne and Nicole were in the booth. I greeted them both.

- "We were just talking about you." said Nicole, with a twinkle in her eye.

- "Nicole..." said Anne.

Alicia came up behind me. "Beer for the lad. Gotta keep our man happy, right?"

- "Alicia..." said Anne.

- "What? It's just the three of us." Then Alicia glanced to her right, and quickly looked back at me. "Right." she said - in a completely different tone of voice. "Can't argue with that!"

I was caught off guard, and had no idea what she was doing - until Ashra and Celine arrived beside her.

- "Argue with what?" said Ashra.

Alicia looked like a deer in the headlights. Nicole looked at me, and then to Anne - who was glaring at Alicia.

- "What's going on?" asked Celine. "It's like you guys were planning a surprise party, or something."

- "

Or something

." said Alicia, with a nervous laugh.

Ashra glanced at each of us in turn.

- "Aww, really...?" she said. "All of you? Everyone except me?"

- "Except - what?" That was my contribution to the awkward moment.

Anne stepped up. "Why don't you two sit down with us, and we can discuss this

quietly

."

- "Better someplace else." said Nicole.

- "You're right." Anne and Nicole looked at each other, and both spoke at the same time.

"Mike's."

Alicia tried to make up for her gaffe by selling us a few bottles of wine and some beer at cost. She had to get approval from Tess, who seemed to know, instinctively, what was going on.

- "Go with them." she said, to Alicia. "I'll cover your shift."

That was how the six of us walked out of the Sand Trap, headed for my apartment. No one seemed to want to start the conversation until we got there.

Ashra waited until I closed the door - and not a moment longer.

- "All of you? You're all sleeping with him?"

- "I'm not." said Celine.

- "Maybe we should sit down for this." said Anne.

- "A round of drinks might help a bit." I suggested. "Good idea." said Nicole. She helped me pour and then serve the others.

Ashra was glaring at Anne and Alicia, who promptly threw Nicole under the bus.

- "Maybe Nicole should start."

Nicole just sighed. "Fine. I seduced him first. Alicia figured it out, and then she asked Mike over to her place to help with a 'problem'."

- "One of the straps on her gear was frayed." I said.

- "And I have to apologize to you, Ashra." said Anne. "Nicole helped me. She invited Mike over, but I was there instead when he showed up."

- "In our defence," said Nicole, "we have let you sit beside him every time we get together."

- "Wait - what?" I was just realizing the truth of that statement.

- "Ashra's been trying to get you to notice her, Mike." said Anne.

I looked at Ashra. "You have?"

- "Only for the past two months!"

Yes, I had felt Ashra sitting a little too close to me at times. But I'd never put it together with things I should have noticed.

- "The perfume?" I said.

Ashra nodded. The most unappetizing thing about her was her powerful body odour. But she'd taken to wearing perfume when we got together. Unfortunately, her smell was so strong that the perfume couldn't quite mask it. It was as if someone had sprayed a little air freshener on a sweat-stained locker-room towel.

"And the movies?"

- "Yes." she admitted. Ashra had been asking me about my favourite movies for weeks. "I hoped that you might invite us - or just me - to watch some of them with you."

Ashra lived in the staff residence, next to the medical clinic and the fitness centre. Unfortunately, she had a very small room and had to share facilities, so it wasn't possible for her to invite me over to her place.

I was officially dense. It went beyond mere obliviousness. It took a sledgehammer to the head for me to catch on to things that everyone else knew about. And I was sick and tired of it.

- "Alright." I said. "No more secrets. No more subtle hints. I want all of this in the open. Nicole: you started this, so you go first. Tell them what you did."

- "I just did. I said I seduced you first."

- "Tell them

how

."

- "I just... I invited Mike over to watch a movie. Then I -"

- "Wait! What did you tell me when I showed up, and found out that I was the only one there?"

Nicole made a face. "I told him that you all had other commitments, or that you'd cancelled."

- "You little sneak." said Ashra. I don't know if she was angry, or envious.

- "Yeah. I know. But someone had to get us started - and to get Mike out of that funk he was in."

- "Alright. Now tell them how you did it." I said.

- "You mean...?"

- "Just the basics."

- "Well, I washed my hair that night, and changed my makeup." The other girls nodded, as if they knew what that meant. "Then I put on a scary movie, and used it as an excuse to sit closer, and eventually hang on to him. There was a lot of sex in it, too."

- "You knew that in advance?" I said.

- "Of course. I'd seen it twice before. You think I'd take a chance with a movie I'd never seen?"

- "You

are

devious."

- "All in a good cause, though. So, yeah... between the sex scenes and me being practically in his lap... one thing led to another..."

- "Nicole showed me her hiding tricks. Then she let me see her as she really is. It took an awful lot of trust."

The others all nodded again, as if they completely understood what that had meant - for both of us.

"Alright, Alicia. You're up." said Nicole.

- "Mike already said it. I had a problem with my gear, and he came over to help me."

- "Alicia..." said Anne.

- "Fine. I

may

have sped up the fraying one of the straps, but it was going to need to be fixed sooner or later. So I had to be out of my gear for him to work on it, and... I sorta let him see me in a bikini."

- "Super-tits." said Nicole. "Game over."

Alicia grinned. "Yeah, pretty much. Your turn, Anne."

Anne was a little surprised to be passed the ball so quickly, but she recovered quickly.

- "Once again, Ashra: I'm sorry. I knew that Nicole and Alicia had succeeded with Mike, but I also suspected that I didn't have a hope with him, because my hiding skills were

too

successful. Isn't that right, Mike?"

- "Yes. Between her nervous smile and her barking laugh, I would never have considered Anne as a romantic or sexual partner."

- "I had to let Mike see me for an extended period of time, so that he could realize that those were

my

'gear', and not the real me. I enlisted Nicole's help, and she invited him over. Mike arrived at Nicole's, expecting her, but I was there alone. Nicole delayed, and only later admitted that she wasn't coming home that night. Mike and I talked, played cards, and ate dinner... and I didn't use either of my best hiding tricks the whole time."

- "Anne had to tell me, though, before I realized it." I said.

We sat in silence for a moment after that. Celine was repeatedly nodding her head, while Ashra looked thoughtful.

"Is there anything else that needs to be said?" I asked.

- "I'm sorry, too." said Nicole. "I wasn't trying to hurt anyone."

- "Hey," said Celine, "just so Mike knows. I'm not a hider. What you see is what you get. And I'm pretty sure that I'm asexual. So... yeah."

Anne went over to Ashra, who had started crying softly. She put her arms around Ashra, and held her close.

We'd cleared the air. There wasn't much more to be gained by sitting around drinking. Some of us needed time to process what we'd learned.

Alicia and Celine walked back to the Sand Trap and the staff mall together. I got the cart so that I could drive Ashra home. Anne and Nicole elected to come along for the ride.

I walked Ashra to her door. She mumbled a thank you before going inside.

Anne sat beside me on the way back, while Nicole sat on the back.

- "You understand the problem, don't you?" said Anne.

- "I'm not sure that I do."

- "Ashra has been in love with you since you saved her from the soldiers. Madly in love. She would never have said or done anything about it while Claire was here, of course. But when Claire left... she couldn't stop thinking about you saving her."

- "It wasn't that big a deal." I said.

- "Ha!" said Nicole. "You risked your life to save hers. Sure - not that big a deal."

- "Ashra asked all of us how to proceed with you after Claire left." said Anne. "How long to let you mourn, how to subtly let you know that she was interested..."

- "Subtle doesn't work so well with me."

- "It does, Mike. It just takes a little longer. But... poor Ashra. She's been crazy about you, and we let her claim the seat next to you. But then Nicole, Alicia and I all 'seduced' you. She has to be feeling betrayed and alone. But it was a good idea on your part to bring it all out into the open."

- "So." said Nicole. "In the same spirit of openness, I'm not coming over tomorrow night, Mike."

- "No?"

- "No. I'm giving my spot to Ash."

- "What?"

- "That's right. You're going to be a gentleman, and drive over to pick her up after work. Anne's job will be to go to your place and prepare a meal for you."

- "What?" said Anne.

- "That's your contribution. I'm giving up my time with Mike, and Alicia's going to pay for the food and a couple of nice bottles of wine."

- "Do I get a say, here?" I asked.

- "Look, Mike, we have to do this, or possibly lose Ashra for good. Talk to her. Get to know her. It worked with Anne, didn't it? And if you have to, you can let Ashra down easily, and save her friendship for us."

- "It sounds like I'm being set up again."

- "All in a good cause. And if you think of a better solution before tomorrow night, you can let us know."

***

I couldn't think of a better solution.

But I was dreading the task ahead of me. 'I don't want to be with you' is about as harsh as it gets. And if she asked why? 'I'm sorry, but your body odour is overpowering.'

That was the truth, of course. Ashra seemed to be a nice girl, and the others all seemed to like her. She'd tried to catch my eye using subtlety, where the other three had simply chosen to trick me. Okay, maybe Anne had a good reason; she knew that her smile and her laugh were deal-breakers for me. Until she got me to realize that they were part of her hiding technique, she didn't have a chance.

But Ashra

really

had no chance. I couldn't get past the smell; it was practically eye-watering. The mere idea of getting close to her, physically, made the bile rise in the back of my throat.

The problem was, I had to make it clear that there wasn't going to be a me and her. I couldn't leave any room for doubt, but I didn't have a clue how to say in a way that wouldn't break her heart. If I hurt her, she might feel too ashamed to continue socializing with us.

I went home after work, and thought about it some more. Anne came over to set up a meal for us. I showered and put on fresh clothes.

- "I still don't know what I'm going to say to her." I told Anne. "Any suggestions?"

- "It has to come from you, Mike. If you're not sure what to say, try listening to her. Just listen. Then you'll have a better idea of how to approach her."

- "You make it sound easy."

- "It most certainly is not." she said.

- "Thanks." I wanted to say 'Thanks a lot', sarcastically, but it wasn't Anne's fault. Or at least, not entirely her fault.

I drove the southern perimeter, and went to pick up my 'date'. Ashra must have been watching for me, because she came out of the building just as I pulled up.

I have to admit that I was surprised; she was still wearing her work smock, and her hair was still pulled up behind her head in a loose bun. Somehow, I'd expected that she would make more of an effort. Then she got into the cart, and I caught a whiff. She hadn't even tried to cover it with perfume this time.

Was this some sort of signal? Was she already throwing in the towel? Writing me off as a lost cause? Then why come out at all?

I drove us back to my place. The smell wasn't so bad while we were moving. I also tried to begin a conversation that we should have had a long time ago.

- "Ashra - that night with the soldiers. I just wanted you to know. What I did... it wasn't anything special."

- "You saved my life, Mike. At the very least, you saved me from being gang-raped."

- "No - what I mean is, I didn't do anything special. Anyone would have done the same."

- "I strongly doubt that." she said. "And it doesn't matter, because you were the one who was there, and you're the one who saved me. You showed courage, and you didn't flinch. I've heard you say that you don't consider yourself very smart, and I couldn't disagree more: you were quick-thinking, decisive, and cool under pressure."