What Was I Thinking 1

What was I thinking? I'd never been out with Charles before, not officially. We'd met at a meet and greet thrown by people on a chat site we both belonged to, one of those adult friend things, and had hit it off. But I'd left with someone else that night. It had only taken a few days after that, though, for Charles to talk me into giving him my IM handle and my phone number. And it hadn't taken long for a friend of mine to catch on that he and I were flirting in the chat room, and to ask him to bring me to a party she'd been trying to talk me into going to with her and her date and another couple from the chat room.

The problem was, it was a house party. Who goes to a house party on a first date? Okay, probably plenty of people do, but I'd only been to a house party twice before, with good friends of mine who had insulated me from most of what was going on. I didn't know anything about the party Charles and I were supposedly going to; for all I knew, there might be sex everywhere. I didn't want to give Charles the wrong idea about me; we might have met through a sex site, but I wasn't all about random sex, and I didn't want him to think I was only going out with him to fuck him.

We talked every night during the week before the date, and I finally got the nerve to tell him what kind of party we'd been invited to. He was surprised; he hadn't realized that was what it was. And he wasn't sure he wanted to go either. That was fine with me. We got along well in online conversations, but I wasn't sure how we'd do on an actual date. It would be pretty awkward to be at a house party with a guy I didn't want to have sex with, if that turned out to be the case. So he and I agreed that we'd go out to dinner with the two couples, and if we didn't want to go to the party we'd go to a movie instead. No pressure, no expectations.

The morning of the party, my friend called and told me she and her date wouldn't be able to make it. He'd gotten called into work. Which left me going to dinner and possibly a house party with a couple I'd never met outside the chat room, and Charles. Save me.

I called Charles and told him the situation. "No problem," he said. "We can still go out to dinner with Sharon and Warren, and we'll still plan to go to the movies if we don't want to go to the party. I think it will be a great night."

At five o'clock that afternoon, I walked into a hotel near my house to pick Charles up. He'd told me his room number, and we were planning to spend some time talking before we went out, just to make sure we even wanted to go as far as dinner. I knocked on the door and he opened it immediately, as if he'd been waiting for me. Damn! In the month or so since the party where we'd met, I'd forgotten what he looked like, how sexy he was. Sticking to my plan of ending the evening at his hotel door might be harder than I'd thought.

"Come on in." He motioned me through the door and closed it behind me. "It's great to see you again."

"It's wonderful to see you too." More wonderful than I'd thought it would be. He was dressed in a black button-down shirt and black jeans, and to me he looked so sexy I almost didn't want to leave the room.

He pulled me into a hug, and let one hand stray down my back, though not quite to my ass. "Are you looking forward to tonight as much as I am?" he asked.

I smiled. "More."

"You look lovely tonight."

"Thank you." I wasn't sure "lovely" was the right word. Being unsure about where we'd end up, I'd chosen to go casual: a low-cut satin top and low-rise blue jeans. I wasn't sure "lovely" was the right word for it, but I was happy with how I looked.

Charles gestured toward the bed. "Have a seat. Given any thought to what movie you'd like to see if that's what we end up doing?"

I sat on the edge of the bed, hoping he'd sit next to me and afraid he would. If he did, I might not be in completely control of what I did next. "Not really. I want to wait and see what happens."

He sat in the desk chair. "I was surprised when you told me the party we're invited to is a house party. I've never been to one; I don't know how I feel about going. It sounds to me like there could be a lot of pressure. House parties are something I've wondered about, but I'm not sure I want to go to one tonight."

"Warren's told me about this one," I said. "He and Sharon go to it often. He said it's very laid back, no means no, no touching without permission, all that. I think it might be okay to go and just watch people... I mean, not watch them having sex, but..."

"You're all flustered now. And you're cute when you blush. Like I said, we'll see what happens from dinner. I want to ask Warren and Sharon more about the party before I make my decision. And it's really up to you; this is your night."

"But you're my date."

"So we'll see what happens." He looked at the bedside clock. "We'd better go if we're going to be on time to meet them."

Charles had driven up from Massachusetts in the tractor of the rig he drove for a living, so we were taking my car. On the way out of the hotel, he held the door for me; instead of getting into the car, he opened the driver's door and held it. "You're a true gentleman," I said.

"Didn't I tell you I was?"

He shut the door and got into the passenger seat. "You did tell me you're a gentleman," I said. But I was hoping he wouldn't be one all night.

What was I thinking? This was our first date! Of course he should be a gentleman, and I should be a lady. We should keep it simple and safe, and go to a movie after dinner. Maybe hold hands. Maybe end the evening at the door of his room with a nice kiss. Despite the attraction I was feeling; despite the sexual heat that was making me just a bit damp between my legs. Damn, my body had never responded to a guy this way this quickly before.

It was a half hour drive to the restaurant where we were meeting Warren and Sharon. On the way, Charles and I did the small talk thing; how many kids we had, where we'd gone to school, what we thought of our jobs, and so on. He did more talking than I did, but that was fine with me; he was entertaining to listen to, had a great sense of humor, and had led a far more interesting life than I had. Besides, being silent, I didn't have to worry about saying anything that might betray the thoughts that were racing through my head.

We arrived at the restaurant and went inside. Once again, Charles held the door for me. I was starting to enjoy this; no one had treated me with so much respect before. "Two?" the hostess asked.

"We're meeting someone," I replied. "I don't think they're here yet." I scanned the small seating area. "I don't see them."

"We'll wait," Charles said. He gestured toward the row of chairs by the hostess's station, and waited for me to sit down before doing the same. "So tell me more about Warren and Sharon."

"I don't know much about them," I admitted. "Warren's the one who's usually in the chat room, and he's one of my IM buddies. He seems nice. They live near here, and have kids, and I guess go to this party on a regular basis. That's about it."

"Well, they should be here soon, and then we can find out more about them." He glanced toward the door as a couple came in. "Is that them?"

"No."

"Ah." Charles leaned back against the chair. "So what do you think so far?"

"About what?"

"Me. This date. Do you feel like it's going well? Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah. I'm glad Vicky suggested we go out."

"So am I. I think we owe her a dinner."

"Definitely."

The door opened for about the dozenth time, but this time, I recognized the people coming through it. "That's them," I told Charles.

Warren recognized me immediately from the picture I had on my chat site profile, which was also on my instant message account. He hugged me. "It's so good to finally meet you!" Letting me go, he added, "This is my wife, Sharon. This is Kelly and..."

"Charles." Charles extended his hand and the men shook. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Warren said.

Sharon hugged me, then Charles. "We've been sitting out in our car for fifteen minutes because Warren didn't believe it was you."

"Excuse me, how many?" asked the hostess.

"Four," Warren said.

The hostess seated us. While we waited for our orders and while we ate, we chatted and got to know each other better. Finally, over dessert, Warren said, "So what do you want to know about the party? And it might be a good idea to keep your voices down."

"What goes on at this party?" Charles asked. "I've never been to one."

"It's low-pressure," Warren said. "Of course there are hook-ups, but it isn't out in the open; there are private rooms. There's also an open room for people who want to use it, but it's off to the side; you don't have to see what's going on in there. Not everyone goes there for sex; some just go to dance and drink. We go every other week just to have a night out to ourselves."

"We won't abandon you when we get there, but we won't hang around you the whole time either," Sharon added. "When we take people to this party, we like to let them meet people and get used to things in their own ways."

"The most important rule they have there is, no means no, and no touching without permission," Warren said. "If someone breaks one of those rules, all you have to do is tell one of the hosts. They'll take care of it. They want to make sure all their guests are comfortable." He checked his watch. "We should get going pretty soon. What do you think, you two?"

Charles looked at me. "It's up to you."

No, it wasn't. I wanted to go to the party; I'd enjoyed myself at the party that I'd gone to with my friends, and now that I felt a little more comfortable with Charles and with what the party would be like, I thought it might be fun. If Charles and I went to this party, I wouldn't play, not with him since I'd just met him and not with anyone else, since I wasn't into strangers, but it sounded like a better idea than spending the evening alone with Charles in a movie or something, trying to make conversation. I wasn't going to make that decision by myself, though. "It isn't only up to me," I said. "It's our date, so it's our decision."

Warren backed me up. "Something like this should be decided by two people together, not left up to just one."

"I don't mind going," Charles said thoughtfully. "It sounds like it could be interesting. That's if you don't mind going, Kelly."

What was I thinking? On our first date, we shouldn't be going to a swinger's party. But my mouth overruled my brain. "I'd like to give it a try. If we aren't comfortable, we can always leave."

"Then let's get going," Warren said. He signaled the waitress for the checks. "You can follow us up."

"We should find a gas station," Charles said. "I'm sure Kelly's car needs gas."

"There's one on the way," Warren said. "Which reminds me, the party's BYOB, so you can buy drinks at the gas station too."

Charles and Warren paid the checks and we left. Warren, driving his and Sharon's car, led us through a maze of side streets to one of the main routes out of the city. We stopped at a convenience store and Charles said, "Pull up to the pump so I can put gas in your car."

"You don't have to do that," I said.

"With gas prices the way they are, you shouldn't argue if someone wants to buy your gas. Pull up to the pump, please?"

He said the last sentence in a whiny little-boy voice that made me laugh. I pulled up to the pump and Charles got out and went into the store. He returned a few minutes later with a bag, which he placed on the passenger seat. "I remembered that you like ginger ale," he said. "Hope that's okay."

"That's fine," I said. "Thank you."

"No problem. Just let me get your car gassed up and we'll be ready to roll."

I didn't notice how much the gas cost, but after Charles got back into the car and I started the engine, the gas gauge bounced almost to full. I drove away from the pump and waited for Warren and Sharon to get in front of us again.

After a few more back roads, and a short stretch of a state highway, we arrived at our destination. I parked my car beside Warren and Sharon's, and Charles and I got out. We could hear music emanating from the house, and saw a few people hanging out near the door of the house. What was I thinking? I hated crowds...

Charles took my hand as we followed Warren and Sharon inside. "You'll get a tour of the place from the hostess," Sharon said. "She's very nice. If you need anything, all you have to do is ask. And Warren and I'll be around."

She led us to the admission table and hugged the woman who was sitting there. "Wonderful to see you!"

"And you." The woman not so subtly groped Sharon's breast. "Glad you brought that handsome man of yours, too." She smiled at Charles and me. "And who else do we have?"

"Kelly and Charles," I said.

The woman checked the clipboard in front of her and made a check mark. "All set. Twenty dollars, please."

Charles took out his wallet and paid the admission. "Come on, we'll introduce you to Annette," Warren said. "She'll give you the tour."

We went through a doorway into a large, open kitchen/living room space. "This is where the food is," Sharon said, indicating the kitchen island, which was covered with bowls and platters. "They always have some appetizers and things here. Ah, and there's Annette. Annette!"

A slim, slight woman with short hair hurried over to us and flung her arms around Sharon. "So glad you could make it!" She released Sharon and hugged Warren. "You too, sexy! And who are your friends?"

"This is Kelly and Charles," Warren said. "We thought maybe you could give them your grand tour."

"Unless you want to?" Annette looked at Sharon. "You know the place nearly as well as I do."

"No, you go ahead," Sharon said. "We see some people we want to say hi to."

Annette led us through the house, pointing out the private rooms where people could hook up- "There's a forty-five minute time limit, and you have to sign up downstairs"- and then down to the basement, where the main party happened. Neon lights lined the walls, above a few couches and loveseats. The center of the room was a dance floor. Off to one side was a small room. "That's the open room," Annette explained. "Anyone can watch what's going on in there, but if you want to join in, you have to ask. No means no, and no touching without permission."

She led us to the other side of the room. "Fridges are back there for your drinks," she said, pointing. A man came out of the booth beside us. "And this is Kurt, your other host." She gave him a deep, long kiss. Charles and I looked at each other and grinned.

"So who are you?" Kurt asked when Annette let go of him.

"I'm Kelly," I said. "I spoke to you on the phone."

"Yes, yes, of course!" He hugged me and kissed my cheek like he'd known me for years. "Great to see you, beautiful. And your man?"

"My name's Charles." Charles extended his hand, and they shook.

I thought about correcting Kurt's assumption that Charles and I were a couple, but decided not to. For tonight, we were together.

Kurt gave a little speech, including the obligatory "No means no, and no touching without permission," then hugged me again and said, "Have a great time, you guys. Dance, drink, enjoy. Down here, anything goes except full sex. For that, you need the open room or a private room. If you want a private room, just see me and I'll sign you up."

"We will," Charles said.

Was he actually considering getting a private room? If I was honest, I had to admit the idea wasn't exactly repulsive. I felt a definite attraction to him. But to have sex for the first time with someone at a house party, with a time limit... I wasn't sure I liked that idea. I'd just take it as it went. The thought of hooking up with Charles, even with a time limit at a house party, made me undeniably wet.

Charles and I stood at the edge of the dance floor for a few minutes, people-watching. "This isn't too bad," he said. "It's a lot calmer than I thought it would be." He checked his watch. "Then again, it's still early."

"I think it's going to stay like this," I said. "Especially since Kurt said no sex in this part of the basement."

"True."

Warren and Sharon came over to us. "What did you think of Annette?" Warren asked.

"She's nice," I said. "So's Kurt."

"He's a little... unusual," Charles said.

Warren and Sharon laughed. "He is," Warren agreed. "But a great guy. They're both wonderful people. We've known them for years."

"Do you feel comfortable about being here?" Sharon asked.

"Yeah, it is a comfortable place," I said.

We chatted for a few more minutes, then Warren and Sharon wandered off to greet other people. Charles and I stayed beside the dance floor, a somewhat awkward silence between us, until the familiar opening notes of "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" filled the room. I hugged him quickly and headed for the floor. "I have to dance to this!" I exclaimed. "I always do at the chat room meet and greets."

I ran onto the floor and started dancing. "Shake it, baby!" Kurt said into his microphone. I grinned and put a little more shimmy into my moves.

Charles joined me on the floor. He put his hands on my waist, then yanked them back. "Sorry. I didn't ask permission."

I laughed. "You have blanket permission tonight to touch me anywhere and any way you want."

"Mmm, really?" He put his hands on me again, then slid them down to my ass. "Even like that?"

"Even like that." I leaned toward him and our lips met. Our first kiss was amazing, even though it was only a short peck. It was electric; the connection between us was unquestionable. If I had anything to say about it, our night wasn't going to end when we left the party.

"Save a horse, ride a trucker," Charles sang.

I giggled. "Do I get to ride a trucker tonight?"

"Maybe, if you're a good girl." He sobered. "Seriously, Kelly, you know I have no expectations for tonight. All I want is to spend an evening with a beautiful, sexy woman. Nothing else has to happen. We'll have plenty of time for that."

The song ended and we left the floor. We'd have time? He wanted to see me again? Though since I'd already decided I wanted to see him again, it shouldn't have surprised me that he felt the same way.

Standing beside the floor, watching a "woman" who Sharon had pointed out as a transvestite doing a pole dance, Charles put his arm around me. I turned toward him and kissed him again. This time, I allowed my mouth to open slightly. He took the hint and slid his tongue forward to meet mine. He pulled me closer, his hands on my ass. What was I thinking? People were all around us; everyone could see us kissing. But then again, it was a sex party...

He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. Damn... I couldn't name what I saw, but it took my breath away. "I'm glad you hugged me," he said. "I'm shy, you know. I don't know if I would have dared to touch you if you hadn't broken the ice."

"You don't seem all that shy," I teased. He still cupped my ass in his hands.

"But I am."

"I didn't ask your permission to hug you, though."

He echoed my words back to me. "You have blanket permission to touch me anywhere, any way you want."

"I do, huh?" I stroked his chest. "Like that?"

"I like that very much." He nodded toward the far side of the room, where a sectional couch took up the corner. "Let's have a seat."

We sat down in the darkest part of the corner. For a few minutes, we just cuddled, Charles's arm around me, my head on his chest. But that wasn't why we were there.

I wanted to feel his lips again. He had the same idea; when I looked up, he pressed his mouth against mine. His tongue found its way into my mouth and for a little while, we enjoyed exploring each other's mouth and tongue. Then I felt his hand on my breast.