Was I Strong Enough?

Was I Strong Enough? Part 1

Copyright Catcher78 all rights reserved

Author's notes: These are my stories and nobody can copy them or sample them or use them. This is a complete work of fiction. There are aspects of rank infidelity, sociopathic behavior and abject loneliness. There is also talk about suicidal ideation so if you're there or on the edge of there talk to a doctor or your minister and get help. I did.

We had married young driven by different family dynamics, mostly everyone in my family was dead and she and her sister had daddy issues that I knew about indirectly, but could care less about now.

I had dropped our youngest son off for his first year at Lewis & Clark State college a division two baseball factory. I was driving a rebuilt 1990 Isuzu Trooper, a very stout four banger SUV, Motor Trends off road vehicle of the year a long time ago, thirty four years ago, but it was rough, durable and pretty quick.

My sons were Nick who I'd just dropped off, Joe and my daughter McGee. Joe and McGee were long out of the house and now so was Nick.

My name is Teddy Benedict and I am married to Hanna Benedict. She had not been able to come as she was busy working on Saturday for the new budget or something. It was the middle of August and bull shit, of course.

We had left on Thursday and rolled in midday Friday and we spent the evening and stayed at a Days Inn. We had some incredible soft tacos from a Taco truck, beef pot roast and lamb and fresh trout. We got milk shakes, Nick got a banana and honey, I got a blueberry.

We were back in the Days Inn and I said, "Why don't you find a movie or something, we have to get you over there by nine to check you in and get a dorm assignment and a roommate, then you get to formally meet your coach.

Nick said, "Dad can we talk?"

I turned and looked at him and shrugged my shoulders. Nick was the one that made the whole family laugh and stopped tension, so this troubled me. He'd gone to some dances, but fuck if I knew what he was going to tell me, was he going to tell me he was gay, if so I was going to accept him and see what he wanted to do.

He took a deep breath and said, "McGee and Joe saw mom at a club in Bremerton Thursday night with her boss and followed them to the hotel up past Walmart on top of the hill by where our doctors are located. They took pictures, I'm going to forward them to you."

I slid off the bed and went over to the mini bar and took out all the bourbon bottles. There was a bucket on the chest of drawers and I asked him to get some ice from the thing in the hallway outside our room.

My dilemma was that I knew and had known of her cheating for almost twenty years.

I was not sure exactly when it started, but I knew the first time I caught her. She stood me up at a lunch then did not come back from wherever she went until I had gone home on a ferry and she called at eight forty five. Which meant she fucked somebody for over eight hours.

I heard this on our home voice mail and let it go to tape. She caught a late boat and had to get a taxi home. She was pissed and yelled at me.

I said, "We were supposed to have lunch today, you stood me up."

She fired back, "Like I'm going to say let me call my husband?"

So I said, "So I embarrass you?"

She looked away and I knew that I did embarrass her, which given that she was pure white trash which was ironic I guess. Given that she was gorgeous and was my whole world, she broke my heart. It was about money of course.

I had gone to school on some VA related money and some money from my grandmother. By the time I was making serious money the only reason I was around was because of Nick.

About two years after McGee was born I'd hired an investigator through my attorney Levi Feinberg and she was hooking up with a doctor at this clinic she now worked for and she was fucking her old boss. Videos, pictures and transcripts that were not remotely flattering to me. She claimed to me that she was still nursing McGee and had no time for sex and was not interested.

Nick was back with the ice and I said, "I thought she was done. I was going to leave but then she was pregnant with McGee. I didn't know for sure that McGee was mine. When you were older I got paternity tests and you're all mine. So I think that I'll have to have a talk with her."

Nick said, "Divorce, "with an eyebrow raise.

I nodded yes, and said, "We have not had relations in over seven years, so yes I am sick of the whole betrayal and contempt for me, but I really don't care anymore and I want to have a life with what time I have left."

"For what it's worth, one of my concerns is not disrupting your guy's lives."

He said, "Well on that note, she had an affair with my little league coach, Zac's step dad and everyone but you knew. Kids would see them at Zac's house."

"No I knew, again stupidly I thought I was protecting you guys."

"What about you, no revenge events?"

I deflected and said, "I want to tell you something, but please don't repeat it to McGee for at least a week, okay?"

He said, "No I don't want to do that, just tell me in a week when I can talk to her and Joe."

I was pleased with him, plus I'd deflected from answering his question.

I texted my attorney Levi Feinberg to have them served on Tuesday.

Once I knew some twenty years before, I was suicidal and went into protocol and got therapy based on me suffering from PTSD. I was treated with this radical therapy called EMDR which involved talking about deep pain such as deaths while shining a light into your eye until you couldn't take it, then redirect to what made you cry, etc. The miracle is the decade's long pain was literally gone after one sleep cycle. I had worked through both parents and Hannah's initial cheating with several of her bosses and of course her dad. The private investigator had caught her fucking him when she was in her thirties.

For me it was all conflated at least with my mom and Hannah. I came home from school the day JFK was assassinated only to hear my mom getting fucked by my dad's best friend and she professed her love for him and not my dad. My senior year she had a threesome with my dad's three closest friends. She died month's later from cancer and it was a hideous death, thereafter my brother died from a blood clot going to his heart and my dad was killed in a car accident.

The EMDR therapist in an off hand remark said, "Essentially you married your mother."

My immediate reaction was to pitch forward and puke. She saw it coming and pushed a plastic lined trash can in front of me. I threw up food from a three weeks ago. My ribs hurt as I sat there. She took the can out and put it in a restroom down the hall and came back.

"What are you feeling?"

It took me a second. Finally, I said, "Disgust with myself, revulsion at who Hannah is and was and her gaslighting me for decades.

Hannah's Story

David and I were in this skeezy club in Bremerton, which is closer to what Brooklyn, New York was like. This huge black man asked me to dance and David smiled and nodded yes. It was maybe a fifteen foot by fifteen foot dance floor. The music was crazy, rocking beat, but he held me against him and there was not an ounce of fat on him, big shoulders and his huge hands were on my ass, both cheeks like squeezy balls. His leg was between mine and his dick was down his leg. He had to be six foot four or five and I am five foot three. Even with my four inch red open toed pumps I was dangling off the ground.

After the song he set me down, I was so damn close, he took me back to the men's room and he pulled me into a stall and turned me around and my hands were on the wall above the toilet. I was not wearing panties and his huge dick was in me, stretching me, inch by inch and he popped through my cervix into my womb. David was big too, but not like this.

I shrieked as his pelvis smacked into my ass. I weighed one hundred and ten pounds, a good forty were in my ass. He kept pounding me and I was so full. This brief thought skittered past my consciousness about being a gangster's bitch, which must have triggered the biggest orgasm I'd ever had, then I saw Teddy's face and I felt instantly shitty, then this guy finally nutted and well I came again.

When I came out of the restroom I had shrunk from five foot three to under five feet, because I was so bow legged. My first black dick was a kid in high school my senior year, Jimmy Ribbons, a little short running back, that was my first big dick, I'd fucked a lot of guys that year.

I came out of the bedroom with Jimmy and Teddy was there with my bff Betsy who winked at me. She was fucking half of Teddy's friends and a few other guys too and was going to dump him. I asked her why and she said, "He's way too serious and I need to, want to fuck other people. What in hell is love, anyway, I'm too young.

David had a restored 1973 Mercedes 450 SE four door sedan. It had this huge V-8 with dual four barrel carburetors and we were heading back to Teddy's and my home. Teddy was taking Nick over to Idaho, I told him I could not come because of work.

My direct supervisor was a Korean American woman who we'd fucked the first day she was my new boss. I'll say this women eat pussy better than men my far. She then introduced me to fisting. Her name was Carri. I had not told Carri about David, nor David about Carri. Carri thought I loved Teddy and there was affection of course and guilt for cheating which made it hard to be around him.

I loved this song by Sheryl Crow called Are you strong enough to be my man and I was singing it to David: God, I feel like hell tonight Tears of rage I cannot lie I'd be the last to help you understand Are you strong enough to be my man? My man Nothing's true and nothing's right So let me be alone tonight 'Cause you can't change the way I am Are you strong enough to be my man? Lie to me I promise I'll believe Lie to me But please don't leave Don't leave I have a face I cannot show I make the rules up as I go Just try and love me if you can Are you strong enough to be my man? My man Are you strong enough) to be my man? Are you strong enough) to be my man? Are you strong enough) my man When I've shown you that I just don't care When I'm throwing punches in the air When I'm broken down and I can't stand Would you be man enough to be my man? Lie to me I promise I'll believe Lie to me But please, don't leave.

The house was empty and smelled stale. I loved my kitchen and was going to make a quick dinner for us, tuna melts and tomato soup.

There was a half empty gallon of milk, with a three month old pull date and a cube of butter. I opened the freezer below and it was totally empty. There were two freezers out in the locked shed in the carport and I found my key ring in my purse, David was off to the master bedroom to shower and I tottered out to the shed and went inside.

There were lots of beef roasts and a huge beef shank, Teddy would slow roast that and it was so good and the kids absolutely loved it. I looked at it and there were six pork shoulder bone in roasts, Teddy insisted that the bone enhanced the flavor. He made a spicy mustard with horse radish in it and he'd smear it all over the fat and turn the fat side up and slow roast for a day or more depending how much it weighed.

Our friends were so happy when we had them over for dinner. Our friends, I thought and realized it had been years and years since we'd had friends over. I couldn't remember exactly when.

I took one of the beef rump roasts and brought it in and put it in a cast iron French Oven and found some chicken bouillon cubes and some dried Lipton onion soup mix, added some water and set the temperature at two hundred. That was for tomorrow, Teddy would be home.

I called Central Market and ordered an extra large meat eaters and Canadian Bacon and pineapple. I went down to the masters and David was showering still and I said, "I'm getting some Pizza from Central, be back in thirty."

Teddy's other SUV a Mitsubishi Montero XL, which was the size of a Yukon was in the carport and I loved driving it. Really big powerful engine and solid, easy to get in and out of four wheel drive.

My friend Connie called me and said, "I saw Nick and Teddy last Thursday in Kingston as they were in the ferry line. Teddy and Nick both seemed quiet, not like them. Is everything okay?"

I said, "Teddy was taking Nick over to Lewiston, Idaho for college and baseball. They're awfully close, probably hurting as Nick's the youngest."

Connie said, "Why didn't you go with them, aren't you going to miss Nick too?"

I blurted, "I had to do some budget work for Carri."

Connie like me was an accountant and there was a protracted silence and then she said, "I did some work with Carri on Saturday and you were not there, she said you and David were fucking, I didn't believe her, but wow, I guess she's right. You're playing with fire Hannah, I hope you know what you're doing. I'm a stay away from you. I don't want to get burned and I won't say anything to Carri, "and she hung up.

I pulled into the parking lot at Central and parked. I went to get the pizzas and I went to pay, but my card was declined. I had plenty of cash so there was no problem there. It was weird, I had this spread sheet with all of our accounts on this old humongous (storage) desk top that one of Joe's friends built for Teddy and me, I'd look at it after dinner.

I got home and David was watching some college basketball in our family room on the big flat screen Teddy had bought for the kids.

The next week was going to be hard on the kids and Teddy of course. I was divorcing him and he would be served the coming Friday, I was deeply in love with David, and we both were in love, plus we swung. The kids loved Teddy and I was going to break his heart.

He was clueless, I fucked several guys our first year in California, then my two bosses when we first got back and when we were at the University of Washington I was the ASUW secretary and I had an affair with the older man from Nigeria. So many bosses since and Daddy still of course.

I put the pizzas on the counter and ran down stairs to shower up and change into some sweats, which were hanging on the door of the bathroom.

I came up stairs and found an old bottle of Yellowtail Shiraz from Australia and opened it and poured some for both David and I. Plated up some for both of us and took two trips for the pizza and wine.

I asked David, "Isn't there something on Netflix or Prime, " I hated sports.

David said, "I tried to get Netflix and Prime, but it said you don't have an account."

In the pit of my soul, I instantly knew Teddy had turned off Netflix and Prime, he didn't watch them. He watched the Mariners and college football and basketball. I stood up and ran into the kitchen, putting my plate on the counter and ran downstairs and the desktops were gone and I ran into our bedroom, Teddy's clothes and shoes were gone and there was a large envelope on the bed.

I opened it and it was a petition for divorce, it said that my attorney Sofie Tsoukalas had notice of service. I knew for the last fifteen years Hannah. The kids were all that I had and you're simply a slut, so be who you are. Poor David, I give him six weeks before you cheat on him.

There was something in the bottom of the envelope and I tipped it upside down and it was his old ring that he'd cut in two landing on the bed.

I went upstairs and handed the petition to David. Washington was a no-fault state but for causes Teddy cited infidelity and named David. We sat and ate as he rifled through the petition and ate some more. We went downstairs and had a slow loving fuck. I was in love with David, really the first time.

This was not Teddy's fault it was all mine. David fell asleep and I went upstairs to clean up and I had two more pieces of cold Hawaiian which was even better. I slowly went around and cleaned up thinking to myself that nothing was really changed. The house was Teddy's, premarital asset and David had a lovely home. I just never loved Teddy as much as I loved dick and that was the simple truth.

On an impulse I grabbed my phone to send a text to Teddy. My phone was dead. He'd dumped me from the plan.

On Monday both David and I were fired. Carri asked me, "Do you have somewhere to stay?"

I said, "David and I are going to be married."

She pulled me into her office and closed the door and said, "David's married, he has a wife and kids in Indiana. He told me to tell you, he's sorry."

I started to cry and she hugged me. She gave me the key to her home and I drove the Montero there and took a very long shower. Carri loved my pussy smooth and I carefully shaved it, removing the landing strip and carefully around my lips. I knew there was some hair in my butt crack, but I was going to see if Carri wanted to finish.

I know this sounds like the speed of sound, but I'd be a submissive wife for her.

Teddy's mom was a whore and supported him and his dad and I was not going to be an escort if I could avoid it. The kids were on their own, McGee was queer so she would understand and support me. I did not know about the boys though. Teddy had not quit on the family, I had.

I finally got a new phone, a simple plan. I tried to call all my kids, but their phone numbers were dead. McGee and Joe were chefs and had been to culinary schools.

They worked at the same restaurant, the Abbot's Pass Café. I parked the Montero up the street and tippy tapped down the street in my heels and I heard some noises just as I passed an opening from behind the restaurant and stopped. I heard some grunts and slaps and I turned on the light of my smart phone and shined it down the opening. The restaurant owner was wearing a strap on with two dildos and she was fucking McGee. The owner was a big muscular woman who was over six feet tall and she was putting it to McGee and moaning and she collapsed on her face and chest apparently finished off. I didn't remember the owner's name but she picked McGee up and pulled McGee's panties out of her mouth and they kissed and the owner said, "Are you all sorted out, baby?"

I heard McGee's response, "I love you honey."

I went around and entered the restaurant and the owner said, "Welcome," and she hugged me, "how's my favorite mom."

Her hand had found my ass as I turned to wave at my two older kids. Joe was shaking his head and waved me away. McGee came out of the open kitchen and approached me with a smile and said, "Mom can we talk out front," she briefly kissed the owner and we went out front.

She continued, "Mom all of us kids got all the videos and heard what you said about Dad and did to him. Everybody knows what a slutbag you are, we are all trying to get started and quit coming on to my girlfriend, we're engaged, "she held up her hand with a huge rock on it."

I left and went home to Carri's.

End Was I Strong Enough, part one.

Coming soon Part two Was I Strong Enough. Nobody knows where Teddy has gone, Except Levi Feinberg and he won't say a thing.