SO FAR: A jobless and sensitive young man becomes innocently associated with a bubbling woman in her late forties who lives alone on a vineyard out of Auckland, New Zealand. Nash is attracted because she drives a beautifully re-built and upgraded 1939 Chevy pick-up and draws him from his 'shell' with ease. Hope Honeybun's interest in young Mr Carson is that he writes a little and seems to have a worldly sense so installs him downstairs as resident author and commissions him to write a novel based on her colorful and turbulent life, much of which spans the time she has lived in the valley. There is a story, including sins, for Nash to discover.
*
It is a little before seven when Hope and her 'protΓ©gΓ©' Nash Carson enter the golf club. A few people are at tables just drinking, but most will stay on for a meal.
"Hello Hope...hello Mrs Honeybun."
Hope briefly visits these people who greet her, trailing Nash by the hand. Introductions are made with Nash being called "my young man from the city who's going to write a family history for me." She appears to be known by everyone which seems rather strange for a city guy like Nash where it's usually to know even most of your immediate neighbors.
"Hope!" screamed a woman behind the food serving counter. "Come now or only scraps will be left for you."
"Coming, Maggie."
As they walk to the servery, Hope whispered: "This is Maggie Tait; she and her Basil live just behind us on the other side of the hill. They have a lovely little sexpot still at home called Alayna. I'll arrange an introduction for you when you are ready."
"Thanks, but right now I'd like dinner."
"And wine?"
"And wine."
"Good, you are my kind of guy."
It is a typical Kiwi golf club. A bar stocked with a good selection of beer and cheap wines. The room is filled with tables with seating for eight, gambling machines are at the far end of the room behind a screen and the 18th green is immediately below the wall of windows. On other walls are photos of past patrons, presidents and honors boards. Sponsors notices also abound.
During the next hour the reasonably quite assembly became noisier as the liquor in willing bodies became entrenched, When Hope and Nash left another two hours later the noise was deafening as more people had arrived after their eating at home with their families.
Hope attempted to explain to the newcomer Nash. "Friday nights end up bedlam, with not all couples who arrived together going home together."
"Oh, the fellows stay behind for more drinks?" Nash queried slyly.
"Oh, don't say I'm going to have to teach you about the birds and bees," Hope laughed.
"Nah, I knew what you were on about; just winding you up a little."
They arrive home and Monty merely gave his mistress a courtesy call before being all over Nash.
"Monty likes you," Hope said thoughtfully. For a moment it appeared she was going to kiss Nash goodnight. But she started up the stairs, turned and said, "Breakfast on the table at 6:30. This is country living."
Nash eyed her breasts, thinking they were big enough to become really lively when set loose. "Right, I thought it might be earlier?"
"No, but I'll be out on patrol at 5.30. You can come if you like."
"Yeah, good idea; get fresh air into my lungs," Nash yawned, without knowing what she was on about.
"Right, I'll pop in and wake you at 5:20, but if you have a boner showing expect to be doused with cold water."
Hope continued up the stairs, leaving scarlet-faced Nash in her wake.
Although having downed six glasses of merlot, Nash remained awake fretting over his perennial problem: whenever he begins a new job -- sometimes even before he starts -- he worries that it might not be the right move in the best interest of his career.
What career, you mutt head? Here he is lying awake in a strange room, where a vet used to neuter cats and cut the tails of little puppies back to stumps. Outside is a dog that appears determined to bond with him while upstairs is a woman who seems so affable and motherly yet is an enigma because she's not yet revealing her true self to him.
Did it matter she is perplexing?
Of course not!
Is he a problem to her?
Definitely not as with Nash Carson, what you see is what you get!
Then what the fuck are you doing in this house? A good question, he decides.
He is in the home of Mrs Hope Honeybun because she has a rebuilt 1939 Chevy, she had big boobs and wandering eyes but above all, she talks to him as if he's a somebody.
Is that all? Come on, Nash baby, the truth.
Um, this is rather embarrassing.
Oh come on, Nash; who's listening?
All right, she's come into my life and immediately confirms that she's a somebody. I knew that at the outset because she drives an awesome looking '39 Chevy. But who else would take a loser from the workforce, talk to him as if he is a somebody, and then invite him to her home in the country? So in trepidation this loser goes to her abode and what does he find? She lives in a mini-mansion in her own vineyard. Now is that a somebody or is it what?
Nash becomes more focused. Hope has asked him to fictionalize her life story, which he would have done just for a bed and tucker, simply to break the monotony of his mundane life. She offered five hundred smackers to write down the words -- EACH WEEK he works on it! Boy, is she somebody. Then at the golf club she towed him around between tables, introducing him to her friends as if he were her son. Cool as a cucumber is she; she is she one cool lady.
The urge to urinate is message from the bladder. An immaculate bathroom with toilet is within nine feet of his bed, but Nash, scratching his crotch, decides to go outside and pee into the grass as he images a cowboy would do when sleepily emerging from the bunkhouse.
It's moonlight and Monty comes up and licks his legs. Nash decides he must become less friendly with Monty to ease the avid attention he's attracting. He lifts his limp penis and begins spraying the grass, having to waggle it all over the place because the damn hound is dancing around trying to gulp down some of the streaming fluid. Although Nash succeeds in keeping the flow away from the dog's snapping jaws he warns, "Don't you try tonguing me in the morning, Monty!"
Returning to his room Nash thoughtfully puts his underpants back on. No need to invite being doused in cold water by madam in the morning, he reasons.