Author's Note: Welcome back to Smutville. This is a total romp in the classic Traffic Girl way. How could it be anything else when we celebrate Juliet's birthday? I hope you enjoy it -- and please keep the great feedback coming!
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Juliet's birthday bash was a two-night affair. On Friday night, her agency had put together a huge red-carpet event. It was really meant to serve as a kickoff for her two movie releases coming up later in the year, keeping her in the public eye. The first was a romantic comedy releasing on the Fourth of July. The second, which was already generating Oscar buzz, was a coming-of-age story about a high school senior who got pregnant, gave up the baby for adoption, and, a decade later, goes on a journey to find the child. Hollywood was awash in Juliet Lawson.
The official birthday party took place at the Avalon, an LA mainstay for decades. Most nightclubs came and went. Avalon just reinvented itself. Its current incarnation was of a trendy dance club, but the agency had given it a bit of a retro makeover with decorations to fit the Hollywood Babylon theme. I wasn't sure how to dress for it, but the girls told me to just stick to something like the Great Gatsby.
It would have been a boring night of schmoozing, except that the novelty of seeing a party full of A-list celebrities still gave us a rush. It was a thrilling form of celebrity voyeurism. I also got a kick out of seeing actors I recognized and knew take second looks at my girls. And they were worthy of those looks. All four of them had dressed in identically styled but different color flapper outfits -- sparkling short dresses, long gloves, feathered headbands, and long cigarette holders.
We got drunk. We smoked a ton of weed, which was rampant in all the cigarette holders throughout the party. It was a haze of California's best bud. Even Katie took a couple puffs, which was cute because it just ravaged her virgin lungs, and she couldn't hide her disdain for it.
The big splash of the night, however, was Stephen arriving at the party with his new, fabulously elegant Italian girlfriend. She was stunning, age-appropriate, and charming. It was their first public appearance together, and it was sure-fire tabloid fodder. I could tell it annoyed Juliet a little bit, since Stephen intentionally upstaged her a little bit, but she let it roll off her back with poise. Without question, it was her night, and she shined the brightest among all the stars in attendance.
For me, the most entertaining part of evenings like this was seeing what shenanigans the celebrities got themselves into. It was endlessly engaging, and it always happened because these sorts of events were actually bifurcated. There was the public part, with the photographers and the red carpet and the mingling. But there was also always a private area -- in the case of Avalon, the separate bar upstairs -- that was just for the invited guests.
The highlight of the night was seeing a notoriously squeaky clean pop star snorting a massive rail of coke in the men's restroom. She played the part so convincingly in public, I must have looked like a fool when I walked in and my jaw dropped. She just went about her business and offered me a bump off her pinky nail as casually as if she were saying hello. I couldn't refuse it, and I was proud of myself for inhaling the blow without laughing.
There was the usual array of sexual antics, too, with people slipping into bathroom stalls together, regardless of whether their spouses might have been present. And Rita bumped into her favorite country music superstar. He was a mainstay every year at the Houston Rodeo, and Rita never missed the show. He flirted with her unabashedly and was persistent in trying to get her to shotgun a hit of weed with him. Rita finally relented, and it was sexy to see. She came over to me, an embarrassed look on her face, after they finished.
"It would be really, really hard to not fuck him," she said.
"So do it," I said, smiling.
"No," she said with a laugh. "It would never live up to the fantasy, so why spoil it?"
The party wound down for us on the earlier side. It was exhausting to try to keep up with all the hob-nobbing and various agendas that played out at these events, especially since we were outsiders. So it was nice to go home and enjoy a nightcap. It also was a good chance for us to catch up. We were trying to make a point to have time together, emphasizing bringing Katie into the mix in as seamless a way as possible.
We started by laughing and joking about the party, touched on the excitement of our new house, and then Kat hit the topic everyone had on their minds.
"Okay, so can we talk about Jess wanting a boyfriend?" she blurted out. "I mean, what gives, girl?"
"Catch me up," Katie chimed in. "What am I missing?"
"Jess wants to bring a date to Juliet's party tomorrow night," Rita said. "Sorry. I don't mean to talk for you!"
Nervous laughter rippled through the room.
"Oh, god," Jess said nervously. "I might need something to take the edge off."
Without waiting for a response, she marched over to the bar and brought over our pre-gaming tray of cocaine, which still had a few lines on it. She smiled at me before she bent down and snorted. Her cheeks were ruddy, and her perfect teeth lined up like little soldiers, flashing white. Her nose ended in its perfect, sharp point, and her nostrils flared slightly. To my right, I saw Katie lick her lips as Jess addressed the lines. Rita put a hand on her thigh and gave a squeeze. Kat pulled her hair back.
"I want a rail so bad," Katie said quietly.
"You should get in on this, girl," Jess said, offering her the straw.
Katie looked at me quickly, and I realized she was asking for approval.
"I guess I probably shouldn't," she said.
"You never had a problem with coke," Rita pointed out.
"You're like a coke rockstar," Kat said with a laugh.
"Yeah, but I wonder if my wiring has changed after the opioid shit," Katie said.
"Maybe it has," Jess said. "But you can find out. I bet you'll figure it out really quickly."
"I mean, I really don't think it'll be an issue," Katie said. "I just thought it might be a bad look after everything."
"We can keep you in check, sweetie," Kat said.
I just smiled at her. Jess passed the mirror around.
"I want this after you," Rita joked as she put it in front of Katie.
"Promise," Katie said with a happy grin.
With only a slight hesitation, Katie bent forward and put the straw deep in her right nostril with one sweeping motion. The fine crystals disappeared like dirty flying up a vacuum.
"Oh my god," she said with excitement. "There it is. I missed that feeling so much!"
She paused, blinked a couple times, delicately rubbed the side of her nose, and then switched sides and snorted a second line.
"It's impossible to describe," she said happily. "I feel like Superwoman."
The tray made its way to Rita and Kat, who indulged, and then I finished the last two lines on the tray. Conversation came more easily after that. Everyone wanted to know the story with Jess's date, from the request to who it was.
