Author's Note: This is a rare almost no-sex chapter. There's a lot going on, and John needs to get his head around it. There is a significant amount of table setting here, and things are going to ramp up, with new challenges, risks, and excitement. Please keep the feedback coming. I hope you enjoy it.
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The first order of business for my new "spread happiness" mission was to talk to Jess. We had been lazy about addressing the Tommy thing. Katie's accident and the resulting pressure and risk to Infinity was a convenient excuse to avoid it. But I knew we couldn't anymore. I sensed Kat and Rita knew that, too, so when I touched down from LA again, Jess had come to pick me up. Alone.
She hugged me long and tight when I arrived. I knew she had a mixture of nerves and anxiety. I could feel it in her body. Jess could never have been much of a poker player. When confronted with something she didn't want to do -- and once avoidance was no longer an option -- she would put on her big girl panties and get it done, although sometimes it took a little help to get over the nerves. And today was one of those days. She had given me the key to the G-Wagon, so I climbed into the driver's seat and saw she had two huge lines of cocaine on a mirror sitting on the center console. I could see from the residue that there had been four lines. She slid into the passenger seat and made short work of the coke. She inhaled long and hard a couple extra times, then rubbed her nose with her head held back. With her eyes still closed, Jess finally spoke.
"I know we have to talk about it, John," she said.
"We do, babe," I said, sliding a hand over hers.
With her free hand, she gathered up the remnants of the coke on the mirror and swirled it around her tongue.
"How long have you been seeing Tommy again?" I asked, deciding to just dive right in.
My hand started to shake, so I pulled it back. I worried that might give the impression I was pulling away from her, but I had a sense of dread crawling inside me.
"It's nothing regular," Jess said. "Maybe a half-dozen times over the last year? Only when I'm back here alone, and the rest of you are in LA."
"Have you come back just to visit him?" I asked.
"Yes," Jess admitted. "Last month. But there was actually a business reason for it."
I rolled my eyes and gave a snort of disbelief.
"It's true," she said. "It's kind of complicated, John."
"Not so complicated when it's the guy who tried to destroy Kat," I snapped.
"That's a good point," she said. "A great point. That's totally true. But Tommy is different. He's been through some shit."
"Forgive me for not caring," I said callously.
"I know this is hard to talk about," she said. Then she added, almost as if to herself in an aside, "I knew this would be so hard to get you to understand."
"What?" I said in a tone more sharp than I had intended.
"We need to get Daydream movies into production," Jess said.
"Okay," I said, confused, "but let's stay on topic."
"This is the topic," Jess said. "All right, I admit it. After I hooked up with that guy Patrick in LA? There have been a few times that I just wanted that monster, monster dick experience like I used to get from Dr. V. And Tommy is the only readily available guy I know who can give me that."
My silence was her cue to continue.
"So I've indulged it a few times," she admitted. "You know what? I'm not going to apologize. Because this is a part of me. I like when a guy with a huge dick dominates me. I need it. Not very often. But I need it. I want a scumbag pretty boy with a donkey dick to use me like I'm disposable. Like I'm trash. I can't tell you why. But I love it. On occasion."
"You always have been that nasty slut," I said, the chill still in my voice.
"But there really is something else," Jess said. "Tommy has changed."
I snorted again.
"He has," she insisted. "That girl he dated for so long? Finally left him. He lost his job. He's been really struggling. And that's when I realized we may have some use for Tommy."
"And what's that?" I said.
"Well, I think I've talked him into it," Jess said. "I can be very convincing, you know."