Tom's Visit has completely thrown me, I'm more mixed up than ever and I don't know what to do. I run to the door, lock it and turn the sign to closed, well that was a great first day, I've only been open half an hour and already I've closed the shop and now I'm cowering behind the counter going over and over what Tom said. I want to call Mike but I already know what he will say, he hates Tom for the way he's hurt me and thinks Paul's the best thing since chocolate flavored condoms.
The phone rings but I don't answer it, I can't face talking to anybody right now and I need to think so I leave the shop and go for a walk and as if I didn't feel bad enough already I now feel like a failure, I couldn't even manage one whole day in my own shop. I find a bench and sit down, I have to work things through, Paul's cooking me dinner tonight and I don't want him to see me like this, none of this is his fault, it's mine for jumping into another relationship so soon and now I have to work out how I feel about him and what to do about Tom, I just don't know where to start.
Ok so the thinking didn't go great, I just kept swirling everything around in my head to the point where I actually felt dizzy, how can I work out how I feel about Paul when I don't even know how he feels about me and I just can't process the whole Tom thing right now so here is my plan, denial! Forget what happened today and carry on as normal (Well as normal as an emotional washed up wreck can be.) I'm now on my way home to Paul.
As I go to put my key in the lock I can already smell something delicious coming from the kitchen and soft music playing in the background. Did I mention we had given each other a key to our apartments, no? Well it just seemed to make sense it doesn't really mean anything. I walk inside and Paul's standing there holding out a beautiful bouquet of flowers and giving me that famous sexy smile of his and then everything becomes so clear to me, I am home.
"Hello gorgeous how was your first day?"
He kisses me softly on the mouth while my mind quickly thinks how to answer him, tell him the truth and face a big serious discussion or lie through my teeth and hope it will all just go away?
"It went really well thanks, it was great to be back and I was so busy."
"Oh well that explains it then."
"Err, explains what?"
"Well I tried calling you at the shop, but you didn't answer, you must have been busy with a costumer."
Oh god I feel terrible!
"Yeah I was rushed off my feet."
"Well come and sit down, there's wine at the table and dinner's almost ready, you just relax."
Dinner was great, Paul really is an amazing cook and a wonderful person, he wants to take care of me and be with me and even though I'm still not sure how I feel about him I know I am not ready for this to end and I am happy with the way things are going, slow, steady and relaxed.
"That was lovely thank you and the flowers are beautiful, you didn't have to go to so much effort."
"Yes I did Steph because you're stunning and wonderful and I'm so proud of you."
He kisses me slowly on the mouth and lightly cups my face with his hands, he's so gentle and loving I can't help but to melt into him as I part my lips a little to let his tongue slip inside and caress mine. His hand runs through my hair and down my back to find my zip, he pulls it down and my dress slips from my shoulders revealing my breasts. My nipples are already hard as he plants kisses all around them before gently sucking them into his mouth one at a time, lightly nibbling and flicking his tongue over them.
I begin to undo his shirt one button at a time and his strong, well defined chest comes into view as I run my hands along his muscular frame. His hands go firmly around my waist and pull me onto his lap, I can feel his erection pressing against my thigh as he picks me up and I wrap my arms around his neck as he carries me off to the bedroom.
He lays me down on the bed and lowers himself on top of me kissing my neck and throat while he tenderly plays with my nipples. I stroke my hands down his back then bring them round to fondle his cock through his jeans. He moans into my skin as I slip my hand inside to rub his hardness and he presses himself tightly against my hand. I remove his jeans setting his erection free and my hand sashays up and down his cock using his pre-cum as lubrication.
My fingers move smoothly along his shaft, slowly sliding back and forth and up over the head making him whimper into my mouth as he kisses me softly and licks my lips. His hands roam down my body to my lace covered pussy and rubs me through the flimsy material making me quiver at the smoldering friction. I feel his fingers hook the inside of my thong and tenderly pull them down my legs and drop them onto the floor.
He kisses his way up my left leg and then down my right, his lips barely touching my skin and I shiver in expectation. His lips eventually reach my pussy which is now soaked in excitement as he begins to run his tongue lightly around my outer lips, sucking them into his mouth before letting his tongue penetrate me. I'm close to cumming as he explores my pussy with his tongue and then my orgasm hits me hard as he uses his thumb to massage my clit causing me to cum in his mouth.
He positions his throbbing cock at my entrance and slowly pushes himself inside me and we moan together as he starts drawing in and out, taking his time, enjoying the moment as I writhe around beneath him, closing my eyes, the pleasure almost overwhelming. His hands are stroking my hair and face as his cock keeps up the slow and sensual pace and when I open my eyes he is staring straight at me looking into my eyes as he pleasures me.
Which is when I realize what he is doing, this is not are usual crazed and frenzied sex, he is not fucking me, he's making love to me for the first time, with everything going on in my head I hadn't even noticed until I saw that look in his eyes, this is undoubtedly lovemaking and I close my eyes while this thought swims about in my head, does he love me?
He doesn't seem to notice my sudden realization and continues to make love to me and even through my confusion I do not want him to stop, I am too far gone and need my release. His pace quickens slightly as his orgasm approaches and I can feel mine beginning to simmer and spread through my body. He holds me tight and kisses me firmly as we cum together.
Slowly he withdraws his cock from inside me and rolls onto his side still gazing at me with that look and as he strokes my face lovingly and the moment I had been dreading finally arrives.
"I love you Stephanie."
"I know."
Is all I can manage to say before I roll over away from him with tears in my eyes and turn off the lamp letting him know that this conversation is over.
When I wake in the morning Paul has already gone and I feel sick at how I reacted to his words, he had told me he loved me and I really wanted to say it back but something was standing in my way and I think that something was Tom. I had already decided that it was Paul I wanted to be with and yes I think I am falling in love with him but there is still apart of me that belongs to Tom and I need to get that back, I need to see Tom one last time and make sure that it is truly over between us before I can commit myself to Paul.
With that decision made I take a deep breath and reach for my mobile, I punch in Tom's number and wait for him to answer.
"Hello."
"Tom, it's me."
"Stephanie?"
"Yeah, sorry did I wake you?"
"Yeah but I'm so glad you called, I was hoping you would I've missed you so much."
"Look we need to talk, can I come round today?"
"Of course you can, you know I want to be with you again."
"Tom I just want to talk ok, nothing else."
"Yeah that's fine, what time?"
"I'll be there in half an hour."
"Ok great I'll see you soon."
"Bye."
Oh god please tell me I'm doing the right thing by going round there, I just can't think of any other way of sorting this out, Tom still has my heart and I want to get it back. This isn't going to go smoothly I know that but I have to do this. I shower and change as quickly as I can and go to my bag for Tom's address, it's not far. I don't bother with my hair I just leave it wet and put on very little make-up before I leave my flat and make my way to Tom's.
As I approach his door I remember why I'm here, because I want a life with Paul and I want to put all the hurt and pain from Tom behind me, this gives me the strength I need to knock on his door.
"Steph hi come in, sorry I haven't had much time to clear up."
"Yeah no kidding this place is a tip."
"I guess I just can't cope without you."
"Bollocks, you're just a lazy bastard."
"I miss you Steph, I love you I've always loved you."
"Ok you can stop all that hearts and flowers crap because that doesn't work on me anymore; I'm here to tell you that I don't want you back I'm with Paul now and he's the one I want so don't come to my shop anymore, don't call me, basically just leave me the hell alone."
"That's what you came here to say?"
"Yes."
"Well if that was all then why not just call me, why come round to my flat hey? We both know this relationship isn't over and I know you still love me and that's why you're here Steph."
"No that's not it, I just wanted to say this in person that's all and this relationship is over, it was over the second you jumped into bed with someone else."
"I made a mistake Steph, that's all and I'm sorry but it's over now."
"That's all? I'm sorry? Is that the best you can do? You end our relationship for that stupid bimbo you picked up from Sluts R Us and I'm supposed to forgive and forget because you're sorry?"
"Why are you still so angry, if you don't have feelings for me anymore then you wouldn't care about that anymore, you're still angry because it still hurts you and the reason it still hurts you is because you still love me."
"No I don't Tom."
"I don't believe you Steph."
"I don't care what you believe it's the truth, I'm in love with Tom."
