Chapter 7: Happy New Year
"What are you and Jilly planning for New Years Eve, Tommy?" I asked.
"Oh, we've got a party at the college. We'll be staying with a classmate of hers, so we won't have to drive home. Should be fun. What about you?"
"No plans. Thought I'd stay in and watch some TV. Things have been kind of hectic for me in the last month."
I'd arrived home from Charlotte Wednesday evening, too late for hockey. I still hadn't made it to a single game yet. On the other hand, I had the rest of the week to myself. Business would begin again on Monday. I was enjoying the freedom I felt being in charge of my own affairs. I was now looking positively at my future. Like most of my former colleagues, I wondered why I hadn't done this sooner.
Tommy had left to pick up Jilly for their dinner-dance party and I was alone in the apartment when the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Stan, it's me, Sylvia." Her voice was soft and tentative. She was the last person I expected to hear from on New Years Eve.
"Hi, Sylvia. How are you?"
"I'm okay, I guess. About as good as could be expected."
That sounded a bit fatalistic, but I wasn't sure where this conversation was supposed to go.
"Uhhm ... Happy New Year," I stumbled.
"I hope so, Stan. I can't wait for this one to end. That's why I called, actually." She paused and I waited for what was coming next.
"I feel I owe you an explanation for my actions ... my attitude. I know it isn't going to change anything, and I know we aren't going to be together, but ... I just felt I'd like to get it off my chest and start the New Year right."
"Uhhm ... well, I guess I can understand that. But I don't think the telephone is the best way to do that," I said, hoping this wasn't leading where I thought it might go.
"I know, Stan. I would like to see you ... face to face ... one more time. I didn't do a very good job of explaining myself the last time. I guess I was too shocked by the change in you. I should have been more composed than I was, but when you told me about Tommy, and that you knew about Peter, I didn't know what to say. You were pretty angry with me that evening."
"I'm sure you can understand why," I said, attempting to keep any emotion from my voice.
"Yes ... I do understand. That's why I wanted to talk to you one more time ... before ... before it's over."
"Alright, I guess I can do that," I said reluctantly. I couldn't think of any benefit other than to learn just what I had done to bring on her behavior over the last three years. Perhaps that would close the book on our life together once and for all. "When do you want to meet?"
"I'll make myself available anytime. I want to do this for me as well as for you. The sooner the better, I think."
"Well, I know it's New Year's Eve, but if you want to come over this evening, or I can come to the house ... unless you have plans," I said quickly as an afterthought.
"No ... no ... no plans. Tonight is fine. I'll come to your apartment, if that's okay?"
"Sure ... anytime after eight."
She thanked me and we hung up. I wondered what I was going to encounter and also wondered if I could hold my temper better than the last time we met. Perhaps the three weeks between had allowed me to cool off and accept what had happened. I would find out tonight. Strange way to spend a New Year's Eve, I thought.
Sylvia arrived just after eight. As she walked into the apartment, I was reminded of how pretty she looked. I hadn't seen her for three weeks and she obviously took care with her appearance this evening.
"Hi," I said simply as I took her coat. "Have a seat. Can I get you something? A New Years Eve drink?"
"Just a glass of wine, please Stan."
I poured us each a glass and returned to the living room. She took a tentative sip, sighed, and leaned back on the sofa. I waited to let her begin. It was her decision to talk, and I wanted to hear it.
"I want to apologize first, Stan. I know I've been hard ... no ... make that impossible to live with in the past while. I want you to know that it was nothing that you did to make me that way."
She paused, and I leaned back in my chair, awaiting whatever came next.
"You know that I was excited when I got my first promotion at Empire Life. It was the first time that I thought that it wasn't just a job and that I might have a career and be successful. I suddenly realized I wanted to be successful. I wanted to move up in the organization. I wanted to be 'somebody.' That started my changing the way I looked at my life, my marriage, and my future.
"When I found I was now reporting to Peter Ambleton, I was happy. He was a dynamic person in our office, and apparently going places in the company. I decided I wanted to follow in his footsteps. He made several comments about my potential, and the opportunities for me along the way. I ate them up. He was telling me exactly what I wanted to hear. I knew about his reputation, even then. He was a womanizer, someone who used women, discarded them when he was finished with them, and moved on. I didn't have any illusions about what he wanted, I just thought I could use him just the way he wanted to use me."
I could see the direction this conversation was heading. In a way, it was fascinating. The timing began to make sense in terms of the change in her behavior.
"In the meantime, I was starting to think of myself as more significant than you. I was a management person in a big company, and you were a traveling mechanic. I began to think I was passing you in importance, earning just as much as you were even though I'd only been working for a couple of years. I know that was unfair, but I was thinking that you would never be anything more than what you were, while I might end up being an executive. I guess I started to look for faults in you that explained why you accepted that role."
