Chapter 7
Disaster struck the week before Christmas.
The morning went fast with Amy wanting to play games the cousins showed her the previous afternoon. Angelo and Eric made the rounds of the self-service laundries to empty the coin collectors and re-charge the change machines. They checked the customer complaint boxes to see if any of the machines weren't working correctly before returning home for lunch. Layla and her mom had fixed meatball sandwiches with homemade sauce.
As soon as Amy went down for her nap, Eric decided to go get it over with at Melissa's house.
"While you're away, mom and I will make a couple of pans of lasagna for the firehouse crew tonight. Do you want rolls or baguettes?"
"Baguettes would be great. Are you making those?"
"Mom is. They're great but so are her rolls."
"Has she shown you how to make them?"
"Of course. We must stay home sometime and let me cook real food for you."
"Well, wish me luck. I'll go over and see Melissa and be back as soon as I can." Layla gave him a tight hug and kiss.
Eric felt like he'd rather take a beating than to see her again. The drive over was on autopilot as all his thoughts were on her and the last time he saw her. She was in a drug-induced stupor when he took her to the emergency room. Three days later he took her home and was out grocery shopping when she left and never came back. Obviously, someone helped her leave because her car was left behind.
Silvia and Bernie lived in a very nice part of Philadelphia in a beautiful brick three-story attached home. Bernie was a successful trial lawyer and now a federal judge so money was not an issue for them. Eric found a parking spot nearby and walked to the door.
Melissa was evidently watching for him and opened the door as he approached. She smiled and said, "Eric, you look great. Please come in."
Eric replied, "You also look great, Melissa. Thanks." She really did look fine. The dress she wore was lovely on her and the makeup was perfect. She had aged and looked at least five years older than she was. Otherwise, she appeared very much like the old Melissa he once loved.
He walked into the sitting room as Melissa followed.
"May I get you something to drink?"
"A beer would be good."
"That does sound good. I'll be right back."
Eric could tell from the silence in the house that Silvia and Bernie weren't home. Melissa returned with a beer and a bottle of water.
"I've given up all alcohol and am drinking lots of water."
"That's good."
"How's Amy?"
"She's doing great. I brought a DVD for you to see. It was made on her birthday."
"Can I watch it now?"
"Sure."
"Let me get the laptop." She went upstairs and returned in a moment. She sat next to Eric and put the DVD in. For the next 15 minutes, she watched every second of the video and cried the entire time. Eric handed her his handkerchief but dared not hold her.
"She's beautiful. I was a total fool and I hurt you so much. I am so sorry, Eric."
He was silent but tears were beginning to well.
She continued, "Thank you for coming. You didn't have to. I know my actions killed our relationship and I am so very sorry I did what I did."
"Why did you do it?"
"Eric, anything I say will be an excuse. I let your absence be an excuse for me to party with friends. One thing led to another; and I was offered and accepted cocaine for the first time in my life. That drug gradually became my god in a few months. Over time, Amy came second and you were not even in the picture. I lost all sense of reality and my self-respect."
"When I brought you home from the hospital, why did you leave?"
"I was out of coke and heroin and I had to get it. I called up an old dealer friend and he came for me. I was so hooked and in so much pain that I'd have sold my soul to the devil for a fix."
"Melissa, I did my best to help you break that habit."
"I know, but I was too weak. I couldn't do it, Eric." Tears flowed down her face.
"We searched for you nearly a year."
"I know. I saw the missing person report on TV and knew the police and you were looking for me. I didn't want to be found and continued to live with my friend. When he moved to Chicago, I went with him. After we were there several months, I changed my name back to Thompson and got a driver license. He and I were arrested for dealing after we'd been there about six months. He went to jail since it was his third offense, and I got a suspended sentence."
"What did you do then?"
"After I went through his stash that the police missed, I didn't have a choice. I went on the street and whored myself to anyone with money. The drugs controlled me and every part of my life."
"Why didn't you call me? I'd have come for you."
"I was too ashamed to call you. I really thought I'd get killed on the streets and it would be over with, but it never happened. I tried to commit suicide but couldn't even do that. Someone saw me starting to run out in front of a car and wrestled me to the pavement. The police took me to a psychiatric hospital and they put me in rehab. But I didn't want help. I wanted to die.
"Finally, I did go to jail for prostitution and robbing a john. That caused the suspended sentence to be reinstated and I spent the next 18 months in jail in Chicago. While that sounds terrible, the jail sentence saved my life. I did beat the habit and met a woman who brought me to Christ. I never was a believer, as you know, but by the grace of God, I was finally at a point in my life low enough to find Him waiting for me. The woman, whose name is Kate, volunteered at the jail from one of the local church ministries. She had the patience of Job working with me. I got out last week and dad sent me the money to come home."
"Melissa, I'm very happy you were saved and that you're home with people who really love you. But I'm not one of those people. When you disappeared, you gradually died to me over the next two years. I filed for divorce so I could start over and find a mom for Amy. She depended on me. When you left Amy, you burned every bridge between us and those cannot be re-built."
"I know." Tears and eyeliner ran down her cheeks. "I have no right at all to ask anything of you and you don't owe me anything. I was totally at fault and it ruined our marriage. My baby is no longer mine and I understand why. The only thing I'm begging you to do is allow me to visit with Amy every now and then. I just want to kiss her and hold her a little while. She's still part of my spirit and that void in my heart is killing me."
"She thinks you died and are in heaven with Jesus. How can I tell her now that I was just joking and that her mom was really a drug addict and a prostitute and a drug dealer and was in jail? She's four years old, for God's sake."
Melissa studied the far wall and didn't respond for many seconds.
"Eric, the one thought I held onto throughout the drug withdrawal was that I might see Amy again. Her little face was in my mind the entire time I was cramping so bad I couldn't walk. The thought of her gave me a reason for living and I was praying that you would let me see her and hug her."
"You're appealing to sympathies which I don't have for you. Melissa, it's over. Amy is not going to see you. She has a new mommy now and any exposure she has to you will only cause pain and confusion."
"I didn't know you re-married."
"I haven't yet but I'm engaged."
"Can you give me some hope that someday I might see Amy?"
"Well, let's talk about your plans. What are you going to do the next few years?"
"Dad has agreed to send me back to college and I'm going to try my best to get in. I have completed one year, as you know. My criminal record will hurt me but I might be able to get into a community college. I want to continue in computer science and then get a job in that field."
Eric was silent for a long time before saying, "My fiancΓ©e and I will discuss it and I'll call you. We have agreed that Amy will need to know about you down the road when she's old enough to understand what happened. I think it's very important that she knows about drugs and the real human cost that drugs demand but she can't understand that for many more years."
"Would it be possible for me to pretend I'm not her mother and see her in your presence for a few minutes? Please?"
"Your parents showed her a photo of you last year and she'll remember it. You have no idea how intelligent she is and she never forgets anything. You've aged and look much older now than the picture shows but she'll still know it's you."