I awoke five days later in a hospital. The majority of my body was covered in casts or bandages. I was in some sort of traction bed, so I was completely immobilized. I lay there for a few minutes trying to remember what had happened to me. When I couldn't I became frightened. I even imagined that I might be dead like those characters in movies who don't remember dying. Having no other way to gain anyone's attention, I screamed as loud as I could. A nurse came flying into the room.
"Well, how about that, you're awake already," She said and obviously forced a smile.
"What happened? Where the fuck am I?" I wailed as tears began running down my cheeks.
Fear was combining with pain and I felt like I was going to vomit. She came to my bedside and put her hand on my shoulder. I could see the concern in her eyes as she spoke.
"You had an accident a few days ago. You are in the hospital. I will have to call the doctor to come explain things to you."
"No, please don't leave me," I begged with trembling lips.
She smiled and pressed the nurse call button summoning one of her coworkers. The nurse stayed with me until the doctor arrived about fifteen minutes later.
"I am not going to lie to you; you are in pretty bad shape. Truth is I am surprised you woke up so soon," The doctor said in that way they have of talking that makes you feel like they don't actually give a crap and your body is little more than a collection of parts.
"In addition, to the obvious broken bones and lacerations which alone were enough to have killed you, you had massive internal damage. Your spleen and part of your pancreas were removed. Several other organs including your liver, kidneys and stomach required major repair. It s still possible that you will lose your right kidney but we are hopeful it will continue to function."
"So, are you trying to say that I might still die?"
"Now that you are awake we can do a few tests to be sure, but I would say that is unlikely. What I can tell you is that you are going to be a guest of the university medical center for a long time."
"So what happened to me?"
"We were hoping you could fill us in on that. All we know is that you rammed into the back of a truck going at least three times the speed limit. Since you don't know how that happened and we have reports that you had a traumatic morning before the crash, I am recommending a psychiatric consult."
"What the fuck, you think I tried to kill myself?"
"I don't know. But I do know that you drove a car into the back of a huge truck and didn't even tap the brakes. What's it sound like to you."
I laid there stunned, trying to figure out if I had tried to kill myself. I remembered driving too fast. But the road was mostly straight and empty. I had no recollection of the truck. It didn't seem possible that I had rammed into it on purpose.
"Relax, son. We will get it all worked out. Oh Doctor Burton asked me to let him know when you woke up. He was here with you for at least 36 hours straight after your came out of the OR. You must be a very special patient to get that treatment from you doctor. Ok if I call him?"
"Yes, please. He is as much a friend as he is my doctor."
"There are quite a few other people I am sure will want to be coming around to visit. You have had more folks calling about you and coming by than a whole ward of patients. We are going to have to limit visitors for awhile though; to be sure you're strong enough. Is Doctor Burton a good enough friend to be the gatekeeper?"
"Sure for now. Maybe, after I see him we can figure out someone that has more time to handle that."
"Ok, I am going to go call him and order some tests. Try to relax and just concentrate on healing."
By the time he left me, I decided that my initial impression of the doctor was off. He obviously cared; he was just very officious and focused on his work. The nurse came back in right after he left.
"How you doing? Feeling any better after the doctor explained things?" She said in a sweet voice.
"Not really, but I guess it is going to take time to feel better."
"Yes, it will and we will be here to help you. First thing I can do to help is give you the pain meds that the doctor ordered."
Almost as soon as the injection entered my IV line my pain began to slip away and was replaced by a growing since of euphoria.
"The doctor wants me to change some of your bandages. I will do my best not to add to your discomfort, ok?"
"Sure, I can't imagine you doing me any harm, angel."
She started by removing the gauze that covered a large part of my face. I stopped her when she started to apply new bandages.
"Can I see?"
"Are you sure that you want to right now?" She asked compassionately.
"I guess it is at least as bad as I thought if you have to ask that. But yeah, waiting won't make my face any prettier will it?"
She gave me a kind of sad smile and then retrieved a mirror from across the room. I suppose they knew that I would ask to see my face soon enough. When she held the mirror up the handsome young man I had always known wasn't there. In his place was something that could have been made in a Hollywood makeup shop. There were hundreds of dark stitches holding together the puffy, dark purplish flesh of my face. My eye sockets were almost coal black and my left eye was so bloodshot it looked like the white part had turned crimson.
"Oh shit, fuck, I'm sorry. Will it always look this bad?"
"Your face will heal some. The bruises the puffiness they will clear up. You are going to need plastic surgery for the scars. I am sorry, I shouldn't have shown you, I wasn't supposed to. But I think it is better to know than to imagine."
"I agree and don't worry; I won't tell anyone you let me see my face."
"Thank you, but I am not worried about me. My only concern is about you getting better."
After replacing my facial bandages, she told me that there was a bandage on my thigh she needed to check.
"You ok if I have a look without a chaperon," She said in a flirty way.
I wasn't sure if her flirting was genuine or something she was doing to try to reassure me that even with a disfigured face I was still desirable. I smiled and told her that I never minded a sexy lady looking under my sheet. She lifted the sheet and pulled up my gown exposing one of the few parts of my body that had neither a cast nor bandages. I was grateful that I at least hadn't cut my cock off. I unfortunately had no idea if it still worked or not. She carefully took a large bandage off my thigh and again I asked to see. She held the mirror so that I could see my thigh. There were two stitched up lines. One was jagged and ugly, clearly a result of the accident. The other was straight and less frightening. She explained that the longer straight line was from an operation.
"You're lucky that whatever cut your thigh didn't go another half inch. Sure would have been some sad women in the world if a stud like you were permanently out of the game."
"Not so sure that they will be so happy after seeing this mug," I lamented truthfully.
"Nonsense," She said as she began applying salve to my leg wound.
I quickly learned two things. The first was that my cock still functioned properly. The second was that getting an erection with a catheter shoved down your dick is not exactly a gentle experience. My dick went fully hard and felt like it had a pencil shoved into it. A picture flashed in my mind from some porn flick where a dominatrix inserted several different things in some tied up guy's hard cock. The guy in the movie seemed to enjoy the experience. I was sure it would be torture for me.
"Oh, fuck!" I called out spontaneously.
"Oh jeez I'm sorry, I didn't think I would have that affect on you," She said in a sweet tone that conveyed true concern.
"Pretty lady I am sure you have that affect on most guys that meet you," I said through gritted teeth trying to sound cool.
"Under different circumstances I .." She started but stopped and began to blush. "I should get the doctor."