Chapter 40
Jess
"Allie..." I whine. I was going to say yes. I mean, that's the entire reason I came up here, to tell her yes. She can shrink me. I want her to do it. But she points the gun at Beck and fires, and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I feel my breath sucked right from my lungs, and I can't stay here.
Without thinking, I get off the bed and walk out. I'm so embarrassed. I invited Beck up here even though I wanted it to be only me and Allie because the way Allie kissed her while watching me, I thought it's what she wanted. I never wanted to kiss Beck. I want Allie so bad, and now I know she's perfect for Beck. She didn't even hesitate to do exactly what Allie wanted. I've been telling her no for weeks.
I am butt naked. All the lights are on downstairs and the curtains open, and I don't even care. Maybe it's the alcohol, or maybe I'm just totally heartbroken. Allie is in love with Beck, and now they're upstairs doing what I thought was something special for me and her. I want to leave. Maybe I have some clothes in the laundry room. I can't drive, but I can walk, and maybe that's what I need. A long walk to clear my head.
So I head toward the laundry room when I hear someone on the stairs. I turn to see Allie with the shrink ray in her hand and panic on her face. "Jess, are you okay?"
I cover my chest, now very aware that I'm naked and that I'm standing in front of my best friend. I reach over and flick off the lights in the kitchen to at least dim the view. "I'm fine," I tell her, bravely hiding my emotion, but I'm not fine at all. I'm hurt really badly.
She sets the gun down on the stand next to her bag and walks toward me, reaching for the living room light. She shuts it off, and we're plunged into almost darkness. It's a full moon out; the light is enough to softly illuminate the living room. Allie reaches for me, and I hesitate and take a step away. Why is she doing this?
"Don't lie to me." She grabs my hand despite my efforts to evade her grasp, and my shoulders sink. "What's wrong?"
A month's worth of pent-up emotion threatens to ooze out of my pores if I don't just open up and tell her what I feel. I hated the idea of girls' night with Beck. I never wanted to invite her. I see how amazing they are together, and how much Allie likes her. I'm not blind. She's falling in love right in front of me, and when she commits to Beck, it's over between us. I'll lose my best friend because I can't go back to self-pleasing and watch her relationship with Beck develop, wishing it was me.
"Jess... Tell me now."
Her eyes implore me to say anything at all. It's like she's hurting as badly as me, but that can't be so. She's the one who keeps inviting Beck, and she says it's because she wants to keep Beck happy so she doesn't turn us in, but I don't think it is. I see the way she kisses her.
I wring my hands and bite my lip. My breathing is erratic, coming in short choppy gasps. I've never felt this way about anyone. I love her so much it hurts me, but I'd still give her everything, even if it meant backing off so she can have Beck, but first she has to know what I'm feeling.
In a hasty move that shocks her, I cup both of her cheeks and cover her mouth with mine. The flavor of her cherry Chapstick hits my tongue making me eager to kiss her more. This isn't like Beck. There was no spark, no excitement. Just lips and tongues touching, but this... Fuck, Allie's mouth against mine, hot and wet, sends my body into overdrive. I step forward, still gripping her cheeks and kissing her, and she doesn't resist. She rests both hands on my hips and squeezes me. I kiss her so hard I'm sucking air, and I pull away to have a breath.
Allie looks into my eyes, and I expect her to pull away and be upset, but she doesn't. She slowly takes several deep breaths, her chest rising and falling, and then she whispers, "I love you, Jess. Like... honestly love you love you, and I know I promised that we wouldn't ruin our relationship, but you have to know we're perfect for each other. We've been best friends for like ages, and now we are doing this thing, and I swear I won't let anything happen to our friendship because I can't imagine myself with--"
I don't even let her finish. My heart is bursting with emotion. I kiss her again and hold her body against mine. "I love you too, Allie. Like love you love you, and I don't want anyone else either." I kiss her again, harder, and feel her arms wrap around my body. Shit, I never thought this would happen. I can't even come up for air this time. I'm so lost in her that I don't ever want to breathe again if it means taking my lips from hers.
Her fingers claw at my back, and I gasp into her mouth, and when she pulls away to kiss down my neck, I moan. "Oh God, Allie, I was so afraid you'd think I was insane." I pull her mouth back to mine but after a quick kiss she pulls away.
"Fuck, I've been wanting to say it for so long. I thought you would hate me, that you would be freaked out by how crazy I am and just get grossed out." She kisses me again and reaches for my ass, pulling me hard into her. My mound rubs against hers and heat explodes in my groin.
"Shit, Allie...I need you so bad."
She pushes me backward slowly, and my toes feel the carpet become wood flooring. Then I feel the kitchen counter press against my ass. "I need you too, Jess. And I mean, I need you in my life forever. I want us to be just me and you... no more threesomes, no other girls. Me and you."
I'm not protesting. Especially when she kisses me and touches my pussy, swirling her fingers in the puddle collected there. Each touch makes me shiver with need and love. Her fingers know exactly what to do. I lift myself on to the counter and spread my legs and Allie's mouth travels across my collar bone and downward. She swirls the tip of her tongue around a nipple as she pushes two fingers into me. I'm so ready to feel her eat me, but not like raunchy get-me-off kind of sex. Like love, like she wants me to feel amazing, because this time it's not just hair and nails.
"Oh, God... Allie," I moan, pushing her shoulders lower. Her lips kiss my hipbone and then my right thigh. Then my left thigh. Then her hands part my legs farther, and she dives in. I suck in a breath and thrust my hips forward to meet her as her tongue plunges into my folds. It's electric and wild, and I grab handfuls of her hair and pull her face into me.
"Mmmm," she moans against me, and I'm already on the edge. I've never felt this way, so aroused I could go in seconds, but just hearing Allie say she loves me the way I love her is enough to make me go right now. She pushes her fingers in and finds my pleasure spot as she sucks my clit, and I begin shaking, waiting for climax to strike.
"I love you... oh fuck, I love you, Allie..." I grind my hips against her face and rock them, and her tongue swishes back and forth over my clit until I'm a quivering mess of howls and grunts. The orgasm is so intense I almost piss myself and remember when Allie did that, which only fucks with my mind and makes it more intense. I moan and pant, and I'm certain I pull some of her hair out, and when it's over, and she stands and kisses me, I taste myself on her lips, and I start to cry. I cry so hard she wraps her arms around my waist and holds me, and I sob until tears are streaming down her back.