The Sunshine Project

Chapter 38

Cora

Jess stands with the letter from Dean in hand trembling. I hid behind the wheelbarrow when I saw him coming, but now I'm shaking like a leaf too. He could have seen me. And the gun is right there. Why didn't they hide it? At least he thought it was just a squirt gun. I creep out and stand next to the bale of hay while Jess sinks down onto it.

"It says I have to hire an inspector this week or the county will send one and charge me a thousand dollars for it. It says it's bordering on condemnation, and they can come any time with an order to stay out." Jess's eyes scan the paper, and I'm all but invisible. I don't assume they're neglecting me. I just know this is really shitty stuff Dean and Glenda are doing to Jess. The way Allie just threw him out like bouncer at a strip club with an overly handsy patron was incredible. I didn't realize how much Allie cared until now.

"Shhh," Allie hums, wrapping her arms around Jess. She takes the paper and lays it aside and forces Jess's head to her chest. "It's going to be okay. I have a little savings. And if you can live here in the barn you won't need as much money to pay rent and stuff." She rocks Jess comfortingly, and I try to self-soothe. It was just as terrifying to me but for different reasons. If Dean had seen me it would have been the end for me.

I lean on the hay and look up at the two women I'd strangely grown close to. I never thought I'd ever see the day when Jess would be someone I'd have pity or sympathy for. But seeing those scars on her flesh made me realize what she'd been through. And now I see what my own fucking family is putting her through, and I hate them even more. I hate them for hurting her, and I hate them for not loving me.

It took them twelve days to call in a missing persons report for me. Twelve fucking days. Why did it take them that long? Why not two or three? I feel my heart tearing in two as I listen to Allie speaking calming words to Jess. Never in my life have I had someone do that for me. Not when I was terrified of failing seventh grade because I missed so much school from sickness. Not when I broke my hip freshman year in a bad cheer gone wrong. Not ever.

And Allie is so good at this. She must have had an amazing mother, or this is just her affection for Jess coming out. I can't even begin to understand how two people who love each other so much refuse to just be together. It's the only thing that makes sense, and they are fighting it for no good reason. I have a mind to kick them both in the shin. Everything I knew about Allie was wrong. She's totally not what I expected. My friends said she slept with seventeen guys, but she's literally gay. All of that was a bunch of lies.

"We need to get home. I call a girls' night. Cora, you going to join us?" Allie holds a hand out for Jess who stoops to pick me up and then slings me over her shoulder into her hoodie again. It's an odd way to travel, but it would take me twice as long to walk where they're going.

"Uh..." If girls' night means raunchy sex shit I'm not interested. Though, I do miss having friends to hang out with, and lately since I've been feeling closer to them, I've found myself wanting something normal. A real friendship.

"Just some movies and a bit of drinking. That's all." Jess's reassurance removes any doubt.

"Sure." I cling to her braid as they walk toward the car. Jess's head rests on Allie's shoulder, and she leans to the side a bit. She's taller than Allie, so it makes for a bumpy ride for me, but I don't complain. I can see Jess is upset. Everything must seem like a roller coaster to her, as much as it has been for me too.

On the drive across town, I curl up in the backseat and think of what life will be like living as a tiny person with Jess. Dean and Glenda gave me the best of everything, designer clothes and shoes, top-notch living conditions and technology. It's not like they make cell phones for shrunken people--not like that matters because the only people I'll ever talk to again will be Allie and Jess. And it's not like Jess is rich. I am wearing hand-me-downs from a fucking doll. The outfit I really wanted came from an Etsy store and cost over four hundred bucks.

I hate Dean and Glenda. None of this would be happening if they had just paid for my college like normal and let me have the car. I would never have gone to Danny's house, and he'd never have broken up with me. No need to steal Jess's guns, or lie, or any of this shrinking nonsense. I feel tears welling up, but I'm too mad to let them flow. I'll never live the finer things of life again, and I'll never have a chance to get Danny back. And why would Gus give Jess all that stuff and practically nothing to me? Even he didn't love me.

If none of this had happened, however, I'd also never know that Jess was telling the truth. That she's actually a really nice person and that she cares about people--she cares about me. I'd never have made genuine friends who know how shitty of a person I've been and still care. I wouldn't know myself like this, and I'd still be treating people like garbage, hurtling toward some other point in time when Danny broke up with me.

I sigh and close my eyes. Sometimes the hardest things that happen are the best things that could possibly happen. And that's why staying small is the only thing that makes sense. I need to fix myself. I'm no good to anyone as long as I keep treating people like trash.

Allie pulls into Jess's driveway, but I lie here feeling sorry for myself. I'm tired, and I just want a Saturday afternoon nap. Or maybe I want to binge on pasta and breadsticks and forget life outside of myself exists. That used to be the only thing to make me happy, that and shit shows on MTV.

"Oh God," Jess mumbles, and I perk up. I look at her in the front seat, and she has an expression of panic, eyes wide and mouth dropped.

"Don't panic... Jess, it's going to be okay." Allie grips her hand, and I start to move but Allie says, "Cora, lay perfectly still. Pretend you're a doll."

A stab of adrenaline shoots through my chest, and I'm paralyzed. I straighten my legs and arms and lie stiff as a board with my eyes open, staring upward out the window. I'm not sure what's going on but they climb out of the car slowly. Allie leaves her door open, and Jess disappears. I hear a male voice, and my blood runs cold.

"Ms. Maier, I'm Sergeant Robinson. I'm here to ask you a few questions about Cora Knapke. We stopped by earlier this week, but you didn't answer."

I am paralyzed with fear. I want to move, to climb up to the window and look out, but Allie warned me to stay still, and I believe she meant it for my good and Jess's. So I lay here with eyes wide, trying not to cry.

"Uh, yeah. I know Cora. She's my stepcousin." Jess sounds terrified. Oh holy fuck, if I'd just let them make me normal again, this would never have happened. I could walk right out and tell my parents to fuck off.

"Have you seen Cora lately? Did she contact you?" The man's voice sounds calm. Hopefully this doesn't last very long.

"Uh, she came by a few weeks ago to ask me for some toy guns I got in our grandfather's estate settlement. I already got rid of them though." Oh God, Jess. Way to lie. Dean just saw you with one. They'll find you out.

"Yeah," Allie chimes in, "she was going to steal them, and we kicked her out."

My eyes threaten to shut. They feel dry, like I'm doing a staring contest and I'm losing badly. And Allie bringing up the day they shrank me isn't helpful either. It just makes me upset with myself for coming here and getting all of them involved in some wicked cover up now. Gus was right to leave me so little. I don't deserve it.

"So you haven't seen her? Have you spoken to her at all? Her phone pinged at this address the last time it was used."

Oh shit... My phone. It's probably dead somewhere, and if they find it all of us are fucked. They might even get a warrant to search her home. Shit, Jess. I'm so sorry. I screw everything up.

"No, sir. She had her phone with her, but she left and hasn't been back." Jess sniffles; her emotions are probably still raw from the interaction with Dean. This will only make things worse. Fuck am I glad Allie is here to help her this time. I don't know what to say or how to handle her emotions.

"If you think of anything or if you hear from her, please call me."

I lay stock-still for several more minutes. I hear car doors shut, then an engine, and then Allie yanks the Jeep door open, and I relax. My nerves are fucking shot. If I'm this strung out and stressed then Jess must be worse. I force myself to a sitting position and Allie picks me up. As she lifts me out of the car, I notice the twin cups of coffee still in their coffee holders in the center console, and for some reason that makes me feel really sad.

Before I can even stop them, tears begin to flow. I think all of us are a little emotional, but I don't really have the right to cry and feel sorry for myself. I just can't stop from feeling so fucking angry and depressed. We should be thinking of Jess and the situation, figure out a way to make the cops and my parents get off her back. So why do I feel like punching walls and lashing out?

Allie carries me into the house and Jess follows. She curls up on the couch, which is exactly what I feel like doing. It isn't that I don't want to see my parents again or that I hate them. It's that, when I see them I know they will be the same nasty, hateful people they've always been. And I will be different--feel different. And I don't want to be around them if it makes me act like them, because I hate the way they act.

"You okay?" Allie asks, sitting on the coffee table. She sets me on her knee, and I wipe my eyes. I don't know if she's speaking to me, but I answer at the same time Jess does.

"No...." we say in almost unison. Jess looks up at me and whimpers, then grabs me and pulls me into her chest like I'm a toy doll. It's a little uncomfortable, and at one point I can barely breathe, but the feeling of being held is nice.

"Aw, Cora, I'm so sorry. You were probably so scared." Jess pets my hair like a dog and I hear Shep start howling. "You poor thing," Jess sobs.

"I'll get him," Allie says, standing. She walks off, and I'm left with a very upset woman holding me to her chest. It's awkward after a while. She lays here saying nothing as the back door opens and shuts. I want to get up and move away from her before she crushes me with her tits, but I also don't want to make her feel rejected.

"Jess..."

"Yeah," she mumbles.

"You're squishing me." I wriggle a little, and she lets up, and before I know it I'm dozing lightly. The warmth of her arms and her rhythmic breathing, coupled with my emotion overload just knocks me out.

When I wake the sun is setting. I haven't slept like that in ages. I hear Jess and Allie in the kitchen with soft music and the scent of something delicious cooking has me blinking my eyes open. I haven't eaten yet today, and my stomach rumbles to remind me of that. It's been a tough day, and I'd rather just sleep through until tomorrow, but I push myself up and yawn.

I slide off the couch and walk into the kitchen, and Allie looks down at me and grins. She has a bottle of some sort of liquor in her hand and she's swaying her hips to the music. When Jess sees me, she turns the volume up and picks me up, setting me on the counter. "Dance with us, Cora!" she croons to the melody of the song. They gyrate like idiots for a while, making me smile. Jess has a spoon in hand, waving it in the air as her body moves in beat to the music.

I sit on the edge of the counter and Jess turns to Allie and uses the spoon as a microphone, singing into it at the top of her lungs. She's not half bad, and I snicker watching her until Allie smacks Jess's ass, then pinches it. That makes me roll my eyes. They've been drinking, and I know what happens when they've been drinking. At least, when Jess has been drinking.

Luckily, the song changes, something by Elton John. I recognize his voice right away though I don't recognize the song. Jess goes back to stirring her dish, still in the skillet cooking, and Allie pours a round of drinks. She even pours me one, but she probably doesn't realize I'm only nineteen. When she sets it next to me I smile.

"Uh, you know I'm not twenty-one."

"You're eighteen inches tall. What are you going to do, drink and drive?" She laughs at her own joke, and I look into the shot glass. I'm pretty sure it's enough alcohol to get me drunk seven times, and I'm not sure I even want a sip.

"Thanks..."

Allie walks over to Jess, and I stare into the glass as I listen to the song. It's got a good tune, nice rhythm. Most of the time it's a song's instruments and melody that get me, but I've never heard anything by Elton John I didn't like. I pick up the shot glass and take a tiny sip. The alcohol burns going down. I've never drunk hard liquor, only a few wine coolers with a friend during that infamous music festival. Once I had the ride of my life in that shitter I knew it wasn't a good idea to drink a lot.

But Allie's right. No one can give me a breathalyzer if my mouth is so small it won't fit the hose. So I pick up the shot glass and take another swig, this one huge. It burns, and I cough and choke and realize I'm sitting far too close to the edge of the counter. They aren't paying attention to me anymore at all. They stand with their backs to me hovering over the cooking food.

I scoot back and lean against the coffee maker. The song is still playing. I sort of like it. I'm getting into it when I hear a lyric I'm not so fond of. Elton's voice belts out something about a tiny dancer and I have no clue what he's saying. Did they pick this song on purpose? Are they mocking me? I scowl and feel the back of my neck and shoulders tense up. They ache and burn, and I've never felt this before.

Then Jess starts singing, "Now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand..." And fuck am I angry so fast I almost scream. I stand and walk over to her phone that's sending a signal to the Bluetooth speaker and press the pause button. Jess whips around and looks at me. "What are you doing? I was listening to that."

"Tiny dancer? Really? Are you making fun of me?" I feel my head sway a little. Is this what being drunk feels like? Everything feels heavy.

"No, I just like that song." Jess grimaces, and Allie bursts out laughing.

"Tiny dancer... because you're tiny..." She laughs so hard she spills the glass of liquor in her hand, and then Jess starts laughing too. I can't believe they are so callous. Especially Allie who was shrunken like me for a while. I'm helpless, unable to punch them and make them stop. And I'm sad, heartbroken and just wishing I wasn't here. I look down at the floor and think of just jumping off, but it's not high enough. I'd probably just break a leg or something. Then I'd be in emotional pain and physical pain.

I sulk back over to the whiskey and take another gulp of it, then set it down and walk toward where the trash can is. Allie follows me as I try to dangle my legs off the edge and drop to the lid of the bin. She grabs me by the waist and holds me up.

"Cora, it's a joke--not a dick. Don't take it so hard." Her breath reeks, and I just want to go to bed.

"Please just put me on the floor. I want to go to bed."

The minute Allie sets me down, I walk off. I climb each step, as painfully slow as it is, and then hide myself away in the bedroom. They're so comfortable with me now, joking like I'm one of them. But I'm not. I never will be, even if Jess has treated me right. I'm just a bitch who will never know what love is, and always be the butt of someone else's jokes.

Chapter 39

Allie

Jess sits on the corner of her bed twirling a strand of her long dark hair around her finger as Gus's lawyer speaks. We called him to discuss the happenings with Dean and Glenda. Cora sits on her knee carefully. Both of them look anxious as fuck, and I just want to have this call over with. Beck will be here before too long because of our girls' night. I plan to break it to her easy tonight in Jess's presence that it's not working out.

For now, though, I am the sole source of moral support Jess has, so I pat her arm and nod at her as the lawyer confirms everything I've suspected from the beginning.

"So you let me worry about that." Benjamin King--Gus's lawyer and former pastor's kid--explains to us how the survey was done illegally. "They had no right without your permission. Now, I will tell you the inspection will be mandatory, but I can turn that back on them too. I have all the building permits and such from when Augustus had the barn erected ten years ago. It's made to look old so no one will bother it. I assume you've found the bunker he built below it?"

"Uh, yeah..." Jess bites her lip.

"Good, he left that for you as indicated in the will. It served as a place for his entire family to go should war break out unexpectedly, but now it's yours. Do with it as you please. As for them pressuring you to sell and demanding that absurd amount of money, my bets are on some fraudulent activity going on." He sighs. "I'll look into that this week. And you should know, Gus paid my retainer because he believed this would happen. I'm surprised more of his children aren't playing the harlot too."

"Thanks, Mr. King."

"Really, call me Ben. Alright? Now, Jess, you take care of yourself. When something like this happens, you need to call me right away. Don't take weeks and wait it out. I'm working for you now."

"Thanks, Ben," she mumbles and hangs up the phone, and I see the worry lines vanish from her forehead. "So we have to pay for the inspection but hopefully we can just bill Dean for that." The look of relief on her face is priceless. I almost want to throw my arms around her and hug her, but I've resolved to keep my hands off of her for now.

"I'm so happy for you, Jess."

"Yeah, girl," Cora chimes in. "I'm so relieved. My parents are assholes of the highest regard, and I can't wait to see them get what's coming to them." She squirms off of Jess's knee and walks across the mattress. She's in for a very lonely evening up here in the bedroom, but after explaining to her that we have to keep Beck happy for a bit longer, she understood, especially because it meant she could stay little for one more day.

I sympathize with her. I know she won't enjoy working every day the rest of her life, but she knows tomorrow she has to go back to normal and go to Deans house to let him know she's okay. With the way the cops stopped by Saturday, it's gotten too hot around here. Maybe when things die down, we can shrink her again and Jess can just keep her like a pet.

"So, let's go downstairs and get things ready. I'm glad we're not eating with her tonight. She was pretty bossy last time. That salad was awful. I wanted the Chinese so bad." I stand and walk toward the door, and Jess follows.

"If you need anything, just call me, okay?" Jess tells Cora, laying my phone on her nightstand. We decided it was the safest way to make sure Cora had what she needed to minimize the risk of Beck seeing her. Other ideas sounded more like a bad retelling of Toy Story and when we suggested "playing dead" Cora got pretty pissed.

"Sure," she says, but she's already carrying the remote to her spot on the pillow. She has a bed made on the floor too, compliments of Jess. I think Jess expects me to sleep over tonight, and if Beck starts that "I need to drive you home" shit, I definitely will. I am not fond of being controlled.

We walk downstairs to where we've already set out a tub of popcorn and some wine coolers. Jess asked me not to drink so much, but I don't know how else to get the courage to get rid of Beck, especially knowing what we have upstairs--one tiny shrunken girl and a government science experiment. Plus I work with her.