The Sunshine Project

Chapter 32

Cora

"What the actual fuck?" I walk toward Jess who remains on her hands and knees on the couch. Well, one hand and two knees. One of her hands is in a very suggestive position and covered with Allie's body fluids, which is just gross. She's frozen. She's fucking frozen. Like, fucking ice cube on the sofa might melt and make a mess--frozen.

"Shut up! Okay, just shut up!" Allie is freaking out. Why wouldn't she be? As if shrinking someone weren't bad enough, she fucking froze her best friend.

I've been watching them for the past fifteen minutes going at it like whores. It's so gross, but I couldn't turn away, not when I haven't been fucked in days. My pussy is achy just from watching them, and I'm not even a lesbian. And now this? Jess was so into it, complimenting her, telling her things I'd love for any man to say to me. I stand on the floor next to her frigid form and look up into her eyes. It's love. That's what I see. I see genuine care and compassion, and it's written all over Jess's face.

"Look at her!" I snap, pointing. I stare up at Allie whose hands are knotted in her hair while she paces. "Just fucking look at what you did! Is she dead? Are we dealing with a dead body now?"

"Ahhhh," Allie whines and turns away. She walks into the kitchen and refuses to look at Jess, so I follow her.

"Put her back! Make her not frozen, Allie." I walk right over to her and try to push her back toward the living room and the sofa where Jess is, but she pushes me away forcefully enough that I fall down. "You fucking bitch. Unfreeze her!"

"Stop it, Cora. I can't. You know nothing."

"I know you can reverse shrinking. You were shrunken first, you said so. Now put her back."

"I fucking can't!" she screams and then slides down the cupboards and curls into a ball, hiding her face in her knees. I hear her sobbing, and I don't even feel sorry for her. I'm pissed. If I had a single person in this world who would pay attention to me like that, compliment me like that, fuck I'd give anything.

"Why did you do that? She was trying to show you she loves you." I stand up and dust myself off and hear the damn dog going nuts. After the shouting he probably thinks someone broke in.

"I thought you were watching TV. Were you spying on us?" Her head snaps up, and I take a step back. She's an angry woman most of the time, and if she wanted to, she could really hurt me. "Don't you know I can just fucking step on you and squash you like an ant."

"You probably killed her. This is insane."

"How long were you watching us?" Allie glares at me, eyes red rimmed and puffy. She doesn't even care about Jess at all.

"Long enough."

She's so narcissistic. I can't stand to look at her. I stomp over to the gun and try to pick it up. I manage to get one end off the ground but it's heavy. I can't point it at Jess, not if I'm going to reach the trigger. So I drag it to the kitchen and drop it at Allie's feet. She looks at it and scoots away.

"Unfreeze her," I order, but Allie huffs indignantly, Then she picks up the gun and points it at me, but before I can react she pulls the trigger. A blue light swirls in the gun's barrel but nothing happens. No flash, no beam of light like before.

"I told you, I can't. There's some sort of cooling off period. I can't do it until the gun recharges." She lays it down and wipes her snotty face. "Oh fuck, Cora. I fucked up so bad this time."

"Yeah, you fucking did." I don't feel sorry for her at all. "You froze her. Do you even know if you can bring her back?"

"We've never tried it on a human, only an apple, and it fell from the tree and smashed to pieces." She cries harder. "She was going to say she loves me."

"Yeah, dumbass. She was, and who loves you like that? Because that's a rare fucking thing!" I'm so angry I'm pacing and can't stop. No one in my life loves me like that, never has. She just takes that for granted and rubs it in my face. I can't believe she would do that. "Why did you freeze her? Why not just let her say she loves you? What are you afraid of?"

I glare at her, tiny hands fisted at my sides. I don't understand these two at all, but after that night with Jess freaking out and the way she's been acting since, I know it has to do with this. I just don't get it.

"Okay, so Jess and I are just friends. We swore the fucking around wasn't going to change our relationship. We were still just friends but with benefits..." Allie is crying so hard I can barely make out what she's saying but I listen. I don't need to listen, but I want to know. They're so good to each other all other times, why this? Why in that moment?

"Friends with benefits... okay... Go on." I plant my hands on my hips as she sucks in a few deep breaths and tries to calm herself. Her naked body is distracting, but I try to focus on her face. She's so hysterical though, I find myself walking to the stove and pulling the hand towel down. She uses it to blow her nose before draping it over her lap. At least her pussy isn't staring at me anymore. "Go on..." I urge still impatient with her.

"I'm in love with her, Cora. Like really badly in love--madly in love. I can't stop thinking of her. I can't focus at work or sleep peacefully unless I'm in bed beside her. Like, this wasn't supposed to happen." She wipes her eyes with her fingers again and begins to calm down, and now I'm starting to understand.

"Go on..." I tell her, letting my anger dissipate.

"What if we fall in love--both of us--and we tell each other. What if it's great and we marry and have babies and all the things? But what if it's bad? I'm really not like her. I'm not good enough for her, Cora. I know that."

I want to second that notion, but I hold my tongue. She's talking, and we need to keep her talking so I can get to the bottom of this mess. For the life of me I don't see the problem here. If Jess loves her back--which she clearly does--they'll be terrific together, right? I mean what's better than marrying your best friend?

"What if it doesn't work out then? What if like every other relationship I've ever had, Jess breaks up with me because we're not compatible. What then? I lose my best friend and the woman I love all in one." She sobs again. "I can't live without her, Cora. I need her to stay my best friend, and if we confess to loving each other, after that there is no going back to friends only."

There's the sitch. And now I understand fully. Allie is afraid of failure; that somehow she will fuck it up and lose Jess forever, and so, she can't let Jess know she's in love with her. I can't stand here with her naked and sobbing, so I walk away. I've never been exceptionally good at dealing with people's feelings and despite having comforted Jess the other night, this is really none of my business. I'm just in a very awkward position at a very uncomfortable moment for them.

I didn't ask to be here. Didn't ask to be shrunken or held captive. I just want to avoid this drama, but it feels like I'm the parent now, dealing with teens who drank too much. I walk over to where Allie's clothes are piled on the floor. I can at least get her bra and panties for her. But as I look up at Jess again, I'm mesmerized.

The intensity in her eyes, the way her lips pout out, the way her eyebrows dip in the middle--Danny used to look at me like that. After sex when he would hold me, at least, when I would let him. I feel shame wash over me at the idea that I'd been just as horrible to him as Allie just was to Jess--worse even. Allie just suspended time for a moment, hopefully. I ruined things by being rude to him, not respecting that he actually cared for me.

I want to look away, but I can't. I can't turn away from that expression of love because I want it to be for me. Not Jess, per se, but someone, somewhere. I want someone to love me like that. To ache for me like that.

My eyes roam across Jess's icy form, kneeling on the couch. I can't believe the gun froze her solid. Her skin even has a blue hue to it. It's wickedly scary, and when I touch her finger and feel how cold she is, I shudder. This is no joke. She may actually be dead in there. And will she thaw like an ice cube, soak into the cushions?

I back away but I notice something on her body. On her side, just above her hip, there is a scar there. It looks like a puncture wound. I step closer, moving along the side of the couch to where I can see it better. As I do, I see more of them. Like pin pricks but deep. The closer I examine her body, the more I see. There are more scars, tiny slits across her ribs, and what looks like burn marks right on her pubic bone. They bring tears to my eyes.

She wasn't lying.

Jess was telling the truth. Uncle Jimmy really did hurt her. I can't pull my eyes away from her. I was so horrible to her, like truly horrible. I accused her of lying, and she wasn't lying at all. She was telling me the truth the whole time. My mother was the liar. And why did her mom leave her when this happened? My God, Jess's life has been one horrible thing after another and no one even cared. No one but Gus.

I back away for real now, crying. What did I do? I treated her so badly for so long. It's no wonder Gus gave her everything. And Allie? It makes me even more mad at her. Jess told us the other day, Jimmy's abuse was the reason why she became a lesbian. Allie should be here right now, holding her, pouring out that love. Jess deserves so much better.

"What?" Allie says. She stands over me as I cry. She has her hands folded over her tits but they're not hidden. She's too busty for that.

"She wasn't lying, Allie. Jimmy really did hurt her."

I walk away completely devastated with myself. I sit on the bottom step and stare as tears stream down my face. Allie comes and sits beside me, and we just look at Jess. How could either of us be so insensitive to her? She just lost the only person who really loved her, because Allie sure the fuck doesn't, and we are so horrible to her.

After a very long time, maybe an hour of just staring blankly, Allie sighs and looks down at me. "What are you thinking?" Neither of us are crying anymore, though I still feel like it.

"Jess never had anyone love her, no one but Gus. You know? And she was innocent and such a good person. She was always kind and patient--well, I mean, until I provoked her. But even then, I deserved what she dished out."

"Yeah..." Allie agrees in a defeated tone.

"So good, but no one loved her. And what about me? I'm a horrible person, Allie. Danny actually loved me." I point at Jess. "That look on her face? I saw it on his a bunch of times. I treated him like dirt. Like the way I treated Jess, and my parents, and everyone else I knew. I had someone love me but I didn't deserve it." I look up at her with anger. "And you have someone who is so pure to love you and you act like that."

As I slowly lower my arm I get the feeling Allie feels as guilty as I do. Her head hangs, and she closes her eyes. "I can't lose her, Cora." I feel her pain though, like a knife to my heart, because only now do I realize how badly I hurt Danny and what he actually felt for me. Losing him didn't seem bad in the moment, because all I thought about was myself. But now, knowing what I know, how much he loved me, my heart feels like it was just torn out. I had something and I lost it and I never even knew what I lost until now.

"You have to put her back, even if she still says the words. You have to make this right." I stand and start my long climb up the stairs. By the time I get there I will feel exhausted. It takes me a good ten minutes to reach the top step, but I look down at Allie, still unmoving, and wonder if she will reverse the thing and bring Jess back. She has to.

I can't stand here looking at her though. I walk back to the bedroom and sit down on the floor by the door, watching the old rerun of the Cosby show. It's the episode where they make Theo pay rent and pretend to be Mr. and Mrs. Weewax. I can't even get into the show, and it's one of my favorites. So I go back to the stairs, and Allie is gone. It's been nearly an hour and a half now. I don't know how long the recharge period is, but I feel like I need to go back and tell her to thaw Jess out. So I slip down a few stairs, just enough to see the room.

Allie is on the couch, sliding beneath Jess's body. She has the gun in hand. I sit and watch as she snuggles down into the same position she was in when she pulled the trigger. She hisses as Jess's fingers sink into her, then holds her breath for a second. When she puts the gun on aim, I bite my nails. This has to work. Jess has to come back. She's the only person in the world other than Danny who has treated me with any decency or respect. Well, maybe Gus, but I never saw that either.

Allie pulls the trigger and the light swirls and a weak blue beam shoots from the end, hitting Jess. She lays the gun on the table and waits, and for a moment nothing happens. Then, slowly, I hear cracking noises, and Jess blinks. She looks around for a second. I don't even know what I expect.

"Jess, are you okay?" Allie asks, touching Jess's face. Jess pulls her hand out of Allie's body and shivers.

"I'm cold... so cold," she mumbles through chattering teeth. She looks confused and disoriented. I feel like rushing to get her a blanket, but it's like Allie reads my mind. She pulls the throw off the back of the couch and covers Jess, turning on her side so Jess can snuggle down between her body and the back of the couch. "Hold me..."

"I'm here, babe." Allie wraps the blanket tightly around them both and holds Jess. She, too, is shivering. It's such an intimate moment, I can't see how Allie wouldn't have figured out that Jess is in love with her. She pushes Jess's hair out of her eyes and curls it around her ear. Jess is still kind of blue too. "Babe... what were you about to say?"

"I don't... remember..." Jess says between jitters of shivering.

"You were telling me what you love most." Allie is trying to coax it out of her, relive the moment. I can't say I blame her. How will she ever confess to her friend that she froze her? Just to get out of the "I love you" conversation?

"What I love... most about you?" Jess says, and I feel like her words are slurred, like she's still drunk. "I don't remember, but I do know I love eating you."

So being frozen affects your memory a little, that figures. I sit there a while, watching them talk softly. I can't hear everything they say, but I doubt they're having that heart to heart. I do hear Jess say she's hornier than ever, and Allie offers to get her off again. Probably the right move on Allie's part because she feels guilty over freezing her, but Jess says it's too cold.

At that, I decide it's time to sleep. Or try to. I'm so emotional now I don't know if I'll do anything but cry. Still, I climb back to the second story and go to the bedroom. Jess put a crate by the bed so I can climb up on it, so I do. I make my bed on the guest pillow and curl up to the ending theme song of the Cosbys. I fucked things up so badly, I'll never get them back. Even if I wanted Danny, which I still do, there's no going back. I ruined that.

I hate my life now. The only thing left for me is to live the rest of my days shrunken in a basket. They could offer to resize me right now and I'd refuse. No one will ever love me. I'm an evil person.

Chapter 33

Beck

The black sedan parked beneath the outstretched branches of the tree is where I'm supposed to be right now but my stomach is tight with apprehension. If I do this there is no going back. Allie was so small, her body so perfect, just tiny. Those guns are dangerous and someone needs to stop Jess from what she's doing with them. But there is a risk that Allie will be swept up in the mess, and I can't have that. I can't have her taken away from me; I just got her.

I climb out of my car and smooth my hands down the front of my jeans. I've planned everything about this moment out in my head for two days now. When Kirk set up this meeting he did so at a time and place where no one would be listening or watching. Lieutenant Colonel Evan Johnson thought his car would be the best place given the delicate topic we'll discuss. There will be no codes or minced wording. Part of me is terrified.

I know about this because I got thrust into a very messy situation with a sadistic manipulative woman trying to control my girlfriend. Allie doesn't deserve this, and I have to end it so Jess will leave her alone and we can be happy together. The problem is, if Kirk is right, all three of us could go to prison for just knowing the information. It's apparently ultra TOP SECRET or something.

The door for the passenger side opens as I approach. My heels click on the pavement. Cox after dark isn't my favorite place to be--too many crimes happen here. But it's private to an extent. I once brought a group out here for a full-on orgy and no one bothered us all night. Cops don't bother with the park as much as the city streets where the heroin and fentanyl overdoses are skyrocketing.

I open the door farther and climb in, not sure what to think. If this guy isn't legit, I'm fucked, but I promised Kirk I'd check in with him later. So if I don't, he'll call the cops. But I trust Kirk, and he trusts this guy.

"Ms. Springer..." The man is dressed casually, jeans, a t-shirt, and a leather bomber jacket. Looks straight out of the nineties, but maybe it's because he appears older too, in his thirties. I guess thirty-somethings were born in the late eighties or early nineties. Or maybe he just likes the throw-back style of fashion. Who are you, Lt. Johnson? And can I trust you?

"Lieutenant." I try not to look at him too closely, inspect his car instead. It's messy, trash at my feet, empty cups in the cup holders. Something smells like rotten food, maybe the bag of old takeout smashed between the seats on top of the E-brake.

"Don't worry about my rank; just use my name. You got it wrong anyway. Our mutual friend spoke very highly of you." It's dark in here. I can't really see his face well, but maybe I shouldn't. This sneaking around incognito in the dark shit seems sort of sketchy. As if, should I tell anyone about what we're discussing he will have to kill me. Maybe he will get in trouble for even breathing a word of it to me.

"Kirk is a good man..." I'm lying. If you only knew, Lieutenant... Kirk is a sack of shit; I figured that out years ago when we fucked the night of his bachelor party, then again later on when he was desperate and his wife was out of town. But the other day just confirmed it. I'm kinda glad I never hung around pining for him. He'd have pulled that shit on me, and I'd have cut his sack off and hung it from his rearview mirror.

"You left your phone in your car?" His question bristles my skin. They asked me to leave all electronics out of the car because there is a chance someone could be listening, but I suddenly wish I had it. I'm not in the habit of climbing into strange men's vehicles.

"Yes..." My palms are getting sweaty, and my mouth is dry. I need a glass of water or an Alka-Seltzer or something.

"Good then, we're on the same page." He slaps his knee and angles his upper body toward me. "So you've seen some of our technology."

I take a deep steadying breath and blow it out silently before speaking. "Yes, a shrink ray." I'm not sure what Kirk has told this guy if anything. I haven't really told Kirk a whole lot yet, just what I was freaking out about. For all I know this is a shrink sent to give me a mental health screening and lock me up. I wouldn't put it past Kirk. Though, if he really thought I was crazy he wouldn't have fucked me the other day.

"I see." Johnson nods his head and narrows his eyes to thin slits. "How did you come across that?"