The Strangeness Within

...*** Chapter 13 ***...

Esther shuddered, grasping Javier's hair as he kissed her stomach and nibbled lower, inexorably toward that place she'd been too afraid to let him touch. His lips grazed the band of her panties and she moaned, grasping, pulling at the fabric, exposing her strangeness to him. And he was telling her she was beautiful, his lips brushing through the short dense hair, his tongue reaching for the edge of the sensitive circle, eager to finally pierce the veil and help her find the pleasure she'd been seeking for so long...

"Home sweet home," someone said.

Esther's mouth was dry. The rumbling, jarring motion of the pickup truck had stopped. She'd been carefully paying attention to the turns, and then she'd fallen asleep and ruined it all.

Slowly she sat up straight. Mark had already left the truck and Nicola was looking back from the driver's seat. The overhead light was dim, but it was the first real look she'd gotten at Nicola. She was a thin brown-haired woman in her twenties, with a pretty face and an expressive mouth. Right now she looked irritated, which Esther was starting to guess was her default.

"Christ, you're even younger than I thought," Nicola said.

"I'm eighteen," Esther said defensively. "Just look young."

Nicola stared at her a while longer and then shook her head.

"You're bunking with us," she said. "Can you drag your ass over there or do I have to get Mark to carry you?"

Esther slid awkwardly from the truck and followed Nicola as best she could while her eyes adjusted to the dark.

It was downright chilly out here, and the dry air smelled pleasantly of pine. No doubt they were high up in the Sierras, in the place she'd imagined.

Nicola led her to a small wood cabin. There was a little battery light hanging at the door, which Nicola took with her.

Inside, Mark was doing something with a wood stove. It wasn't a large space, just enough room for a dresser and bunk bed on either side.

"Take either bed on the left," Nicola said. "It's only the three of us, and Mark and I are practically siblings at this point."

Mark snorted at that, turning around. Esther blinked in surprise. He was around the same age as Nicola, compact and powerful-looking. It was the ugly old scar on his forehead that caught her attention. It continued up to his scalp, and a patch of his black hair was missing.

She quickly smiled and looked away, but she saw the way his lip curled. He must hate being stared at. There were some sheets and blankets folded on the lower bed, so she set to making it up properly. She'd probably fall off in the night if she tried the upper bunk.

When she turned around, Nicola was naked from the waist up. Esther let out an involuntary squeak.

She had creamy white breasts, much larger than Esther's. Dark pinkish-brown nipples and wide areolae. Altogether beautiful, and utterly normal as far as the dim light showed. Between her breasts she did seem to have a pattern of freckles vaguely similar to Esther's.

Nicola smiled a little too broadly, as though she'd intended to shock Esther.

"Oh, are you a shy one? Well, I'm sure Mark and I will try, but it's probably best you get used to it. Not much privacy here. If you need it, the path to the outhouse is around the back."

Esther looked down and pulled off her shoes while Nicola finished changing. Mark seemed already asleep in the top bunk. Esther crawled fully dressed under her covers and closed her eyes until Nicola turned out the light.

"Sweet dreams, sister. You'll meet Abuela tomorrow."

Esther lay awake listening to the steady breathing of the other two. She knew she needed to sleep, but she was too exhausted. And she still knew nothing about this place, except that it was apparently full of people like her. Whatever that meant.

They hadn't told her not to go wandering. Probably they'd rightly judged she had nowhere to go. Even if she managed to steal the truck and drive away, she'd run it into a tree on the first curve. But she'd come here for knowledge, and they'd given her nearly nothing so far. She might as well start now. Not to mention she needed to use the outhouse.

She put on her shoes and walked quietly out the door. Immense pines loomed over her in the dark, with only a few stars dimly twinkling amidst broken clouds. She carefully picked her way around the cabin and found the trail at the back.

The outhouse was no worse than she'd expected. Better, really, aside from the frigid toilet seat. Frankly it was luxurious after doing her business in the woods for almost two weeks.

There was no sound from the camp, and she'd seen no other lights. But the trees were dense and it was well past bedtime.

The trail ended at the outhouse, so she walked back around the cabin and continued towards the truck. There were no other vehicles parked in the little turnaround, and only one other path. She walked that direction.

A short distance away was another cabin similar to theirs, though something about it suggested it had been there much longer. Beyond it were several small structures that were probably another outhouse and some storage sheds. There was nothing else.

She walked quietly back to her cabin, which was almost uncomfortably warm after the chill outside. The other two didn't stir when she entered and slipped back into bed.

Esther lay still, puzzling through what she'd seen. Unless there were other paths down the road, this was a much smaller camp than she'd started to imagine. Maybe Abuela was the only other person here, in the other cabin. Mark and Nicola had never hinted of anyone else.

She couldn't get the image of Nicola's body out of her head. She'd never really seen another woman naked, but she'd seen pictures, and Nicola was what they looked like. Esther wasn't. At most they might share those weird freckles.

Maybe Nicola had other differences like Esther, down between her legs. But Esther was starting to think not. Because there was one fact she was sure of: neither of her new roommates had eyes that were strange like Esther's.

* * *

"Where do you think you're going?" Mamá asked as Javier hurried towards the door.

"I'm late for school," he said. "Forgot that I can't drive there anymore. Bye, Mamá."

"You stay right there," Mamá said. "You got what, six hours of sleep last night? And now you're just going to drop back into school? No, Javier, one more day won't matter. We're going to have some breakfast and spend some time together. Later we'll call the school to let your teachers have some warning when you appear tomorrow."

Javier looked at his sneakers. One wasn't even tied properly. He couldn't even remember which class was first today.

"You're right, Mamá," he said.

"Of course I am, mijo. Now sit down and let me feed my little boy."

They didn't talk of anything important. But Mamá was Mamá, and this was his home. He'd missed her so much.

"Why don't we go shopping," said Mamá. "We're going to have to stock up on everything now that you and that appetite are back home."

When they got to the supermarket, Mamá led him to a table at the edge of the outdoor patio. There was hardly anyone around.

"All right, Javier," she said softly. "Now you're going to talk to me. Because you're still behaving as though we can't even tell the truth in our own house, and that terrifies me."

Javier nodded.

"I'm sorry, Mamá. You're right, I'm still worried. If you can believe it, it's about the scholarship that Esther won."

He quickly summarized Esther's meeting with Fred Daniels and Myra Jackson, including her terror about her father's death and the circumstantial evidence that Daniels was involved. And then what had happened to Paul, and to Raj.

Mamá looked horrified.

"I can't believe it," she said. "But there was something so strange about the man who called that day, from the scholarship. I was too distracted to think about it, but of course Esther was right. They pretended to be surprised about her father's death, but then they shouldn't have expected to reach anyone on a weekday."

Javier nodded. "Whoever they're connected to, I'm pretty sure they have some friends who could do all sorts of clandestine things. Probably I'm paranoid, but I keep thinking they might have bugged Esther's house, or both of ours now."

Mamá sighed. "It's crazy," she said, frowning. "What do we know about this stuff? But I'm not sure you're wrong. Fred Daniels knocked on our door a few hours after the police came looking for Esther. He already knew everything I'd told the police, which was unnerving enough. But he kept asking personal things about Esther and about you. I hope you don't mind that I told him you were a little girl-crazy, and had just had a bad break-up. You seemed to want to hide how close you were to Esther, so I suggested you'd run off with her in hopes of something happening, but that I didn't think anything would come of it."

"You're brilliant, Mamá," he said. "That's exactly what we need. Esther's gone now, beyond my finding her. Hopefully beyond the reach of Daniels and his people. The best thing is if I can pretend to forget her, so they don't think we can help them find her."

Mamá took his hand. "That is a difficult thing to pretend," she said. "And you know you can always talk to me."

"Yes, Mamá," he said.

"Javier, tell me true. Why are they so desperate to find Esther? It makes no sense."

"She's special, Mamá," said Javier. "I know a little more, but these are her secrets. There might be no one like her in the entire world. She left me to find someone who could explain more. I hope they can keep her safe, Mamá. She said we might never meet again."

Mamá nodded, wiping at the tears on his cheek. "Then we will do both what we can," she said. "Let's start with getting you some food."

* * *

An oddly familiar smell woke Esther. Coffee.

Nicola was leaning against her bed with a mug, watching Esther. Mark was gone.

"Wondering when you'd get up," Nicola said. "There's coffee in the dining area. And oatmeal. I'm sure you know where it is from your explorations last night. Be quick about it, because Abuela's awake."

Embarrassed, Esther sat up. She felt like a mess, while Nicola looked refreshed and alert. She tottered to her feet and walked out the door into a bright, cold morning.

She hadn't seen anything like a dining area, but she didn't want to admit it. Everything looked different in the morning.

On a hunch, she walked around the cabin. Sure enough, there was a short trail leading from the side she'd forgotten to check last night. She followed it to a third cabin with large windows, which was well furnished with a large table, sink, and propane stove. Even a refrigerator in an alcove. The walls were lined with storage cabinets. It was a lot less rustic than she'd imagined.

Unlike Father she'd never been a coffee drinker, but she found a bowl and made herself oatmeal. A quick check of the cabinets revealed many food staples.

When she'd returned, Nicola was going through the dresser. Some clothes lay strewn on Esther's bed.

"I don't have much that would fit you," said Nicola. "You're so tiny. But go ahead and try any of these things on. I'm sure I'll be stuck making a shopping trip for you sometime."

Esther looked at the clothes. Probably she could make some of them work. The bras were definitely a lost cause.

Nicola was waiting as though she expected Esther to strip right in front of her. Esther cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"I guess I should see Abuela, then?"

Nicola gave her one more inscrutable look and then walked out the door. Esther hurried to follow. Sure enough, they made their way towards the cabin she'd seen last night. The logs were weathered and moss-covered, though otherwise in fine repair. Vines and branches decorated the area around the door, twisted in complicated patterns that vaguely reminded Esther of her drawings.

Nicola knocked softly on the door. "Always knock," she said seriously. "Abuela needs her sleep, and she spends much of her time deep in concentration."

A few seconds later a low voice responded.

"Come in, children."

Nicola grimaced slightly and opened the door. Esther followed her inside.

The cabin was open and airy, with a large bed against one wall. The floor was scattered with cushions, and several low tables had what looked like craft projects. No, they were more like sculptures, similar to the decorations outside the door. Many more of them hung upon walls.

A small person reclined in a chair near one table, a blanket covering her. She was clearly very old, her hair long and gray with a few dazzling white streaks. For her age, her skin was oddly smooth, and almost translucent. Like alabaster. There were speckles of color on her neck, like a tattoo, or — like Esther's freckles. And though her eyes were slightly clouded, they pierced right into Esther. One blue, and one green.

"Thank you, Nicola," Abuela said. "You may leave us."

Nicola glanced uncomfortably at Esther and then made her exit. Esther slowly moved to sit in a chair across from Abuela.

With the door closed, the room was profoundly silent. As though this cabin were its own little world, with just the two of them: Esther, and the one person who might understand what Esther was.

Esther waited for Abuela to say something, but the old woman simply sat, looking vaguely toward a wall.

After some minutes of that, Esther wondered if Abuela had nodded off with her eyes open.

"Abuela," she said. "What is this place? Who are you?"

Slowly the woman refocused her eyes, looking at Esther.

"You did come willingly, did you not?"

Esther nodded slowly.

"Did you hope for answers?"

She nodded again, and Abuela gave a ghost of a smile.

"So do we all," the old woman said. "The world is filled with knowledge just beyond our grasp."

She lapsed into silence again, and Esther struggled to contain her frustration.

"Why did you want me to come? Nicola said you drew me here, but I can't understand how that's possible. And did you know Lukas?"

At Lukas's name, Abuela became more alert.

"I tried to lead him here," she said. "To help him on his path. But he is lost."

"Is he dead, then?" Esther said, feeling a wave of sadness. For Raj and for whatever he and Lukas had together.

"I think not," said Abuela, bringing her eyes back to Esther. "But he is lost. And now I must try to understand what fate has brought me. You are unexpected."

Abuela's gaze sharpened and her face transformed as if she'd put on a mask. The old woman's mouth opened slightly, her nostrils flaring, as though she were smelling and tasting the air.

Esther had the uncomfortable sense that Abuela was peeling away her layers until Esther wore nothing at all.

"Ah," said Abuela after a time. "You hold your secrets close, and I suspect that has served you well. But in doing so you have separated yourself from the greater world. This will take time to undo."

Abuela's eyes went vague again and her breathing slowed. Esther waited, wondering if the old woman intended to explain any more, but she remained silent.

Esther didn't really mind sitting. She hardly had anywhere else to be. And the quiet of the room was restful. She brought into her mind a chapter of the cryptography textbook. Her thoughts danced lightly around the patterns, concepts continuing to join in the way that she found so satisfying.

"You may go," said Abuela.

Startled, Esther sat upright. Abuela hadn't moved or changed expression. Esther nodded and stood up, stretching her legs.

"Abuela," she blurted. "Is this magic you do? Is it something from God?"

A hint of a smile flickered on the old woman's face.

"An interesting question," Abuela said. "I expect you'll find your own answer."

* * *

Esther found Nicola in the dining cabin, looking over some papers. Supply lists, it seemed.

"So," the other woman said casually. "What did Abuela say?"

Esther could see Nicola's hidden interest, and there was still so much she didn't understand. She decided to play as ignorant as she could.

"Not very much," she said. "She didn't answer my questions, and mostly she sat there silently as though thinking. When I pressed her, she told me things would take time."

Nicola nodded and smiled with a kind of satisfaction. "Yes, she can be very cryptic. But it sounds as though we're stuck with you. So I'll finish giving you the tour and we'll figure out what you can help us with."

"Where's Mark?" Esther asked as they left the cabin.

"Hunting," said Nicola. For a minute Esther didn't know whether to believe her.

"Hunting? For animals?"

"Of course," said Nicola. "Or fishing. That's where most of our meat comes from. He's very good at it. And gathering plants, and chopping wood, you know, or anything else that needs a big strong man."

Nicola flashed her a knowing smile that Esther didn't know how to interpret.

Behind the dining cabin were a lot of propane tanks, a softly humming generator, and some more storage sheds. Nicola led her to one that looked brand new, and opened the door. Esther was pleasantly surprised to see a bathtub with a shower sprayer.

"Propane-heated," said Nicola with obvious pride. "I designed the whole system. We were living like barbarians before. Just remember there's four of us, propane is limited, and we use it for laundry too. So try not to get too wrapped up in your personal time. If you know what I mean."

She gave another wink, and this time Esther was pretty sure she knew what Nicola meant. She blushed, and Nicola gave her that too-big smile again.

"Just four of us?" Esther said. "So that's the whole camp, then?"

Nicola nodded, but didn't volunteer any more.

When they returned to the cabin, Nicola pulled out a towel from the dresser and tossed it to her. Esther looked through the pile of Nicola's clothes again and chose as best she could, then made her way to the bathtub.

Once the latch was secure, she fiddled with the water temperature, then quickly disrobed. It was a fantastic luxury, so much more comfortable than the frigid stream had been. The thought left her feeling oddly guilty.

Afterwards she reluctantly slipped on Nicola's panties, a high-cut pair that revealed far more than anything Esther normally wore. All of Nicola's pants were much too long, but the pair she'd chosen should be easy enough to hem. For now, she rolled up the cuffs. She couldn't go braless, so she put her own back on.

Nicola was outside the dining cabin with a bucket of something smelly.

"Great," said Nicola. "Here's the first chore you get to help me with. Resealing the cabins against the weather. We noticed some leaks in the last rain, and that's the last thing we want come winter."

* * *

Esther took another break, wiping the sweat from her forehead. It wasn't even hot out. Nicola sighed in annoyance. But there was nothing Esther could do.

"I get exhausted quickly," she said. "I always have. I'm going to be poor help for physical work."

"Really," said Nicola slowly. "And it hasn't gotten better as you got older?"

Esther stared at her. "Is this something you know about?"

Nicola broke into laughter. "Oh, you really are pretty helpless, aren't you. Let me guess. You get overheated too easily. You've always been a poor little weak thing."

Esther frowned. Obviously Nicola was making fun of her. But Nicola had some muscles. She looked like a normal, active woman. Was she suggesting she hadn't always been that way?

Annoyed, Esther picked up the brush again, breathing heavily. She wasn't going to give Nicola any more satisfaction than necessary.

After a few minutes, Nicola sighed and put down her brush.

"All right, Esther, I can see I hit a nerve. Yes, I used to get some of that, though I think you've got it a lot worse. I can't really explain exactly how I got better. I think it's a kind of biofeedback, if you know what that is. You listen to your own heartbeat, your temperature. Eventually it becomes second nature."