18th September
A new beginning
Eventually I stopped dry retching. My new haircut meant that none dripped into the bowl. I went back to the changing room. I thought that everybody was watching me, but that was simple paranoia. A few girls asked me if I was OK. I just blushed under my tan. She was there and I blushed even more. I turned my back to her and hoped that she had not noticed me. I changed quickly, making sure that nobody could see my shameful tits and twat. I heard a low chorus.
"Whore, whore, whore."
I suppressed a sob and laced up my trainers.
I walked on to the court and my trainers developed soles of lead. It was our first competitive match and we were gelling as a team. She was good and I could have just stood there watching her move. I seemed not to need to think when I was on the court with her. I just had to move and wherever I went she delivered the ball to me. Her eyes would bore into mine and her face was always contorted with fury as if she knew how dirty I was. I had less of a connection with Chloe the wing attack and Ashleigh, the goal shooter and I was consistently scoring more points myself. Ashleigh was never quite where she should be unless she was getting the ball from the goddess. In netball the centre is the playmaker. She cannot score any points or defend the goal but she controls the court. She has to be fast, aggressive and have ankles and knees of steel which allow instant changes of direction. She also needs to anticipate each move and the two moves after that.
Her name was Tonya. She was about five foot seven; the perfect height for a centre. She had quite a light frame. Her legs were beautifully muscular. She was quite flat chested and had amazing shoulders. Her face was beautiful with high cheekbones and her eyes were like coal. Her nose was surprisingly slim but made her extremely interesting. Her straight black hair was cut in a similar bob to mine. Tonya's was parted on the left and mine on the right. Her skin was the colour of milk chocolate and when she sweated it shone and made me drool.
Playing with her made me move faster. Rather than shooting I would fire the ball back to her or rather where I thought she should be. She had always moved perfectly. This invariably wrong footed the opposition and allowed Tonya to pass the ball to Ashleigh who was at least accurate in her shooting. As the game moved on Tonya and my fitness started to show and we moved faster, stringing together stupid strings of passes which left me just under the net. I only missed twice, a personal record.
The game turned out to be a rout. I hurt when we finished and Tonya and I were hugged and kissed. We did not touch but eyed each other suspiciously. I tried to sneak off back to my flat but I was grabbed and virtually dragged to the pub by my svelte team mates. I was sat between two very bubbly blondes whilst Tonya sat opposite me. I only had a Coke because alcohol did not mix with my medication. Each time I looked up she was looking at me with an expression that I could not fathom. She probably hated me and thought that I was some sort of neo-Nazi.
The other girls interrogated me remorselessly. Where was I from, what was I studying, where did I learn to play that well and where did I get those incredible shoulders from? The last question came from one of the openly lesbian girls who also wanted to know if I had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. She announced that she would be very happy to climb into my knickers to which I just blushed more.
They then moved on to my apparent chemistry with Tonya. Tonya, it turned out was an England under 19.
"So, what do you reckon, Ton? Could Cat play for England?"
"Certainly," she replied and flashed me a dazzling smile. "You're fast and strong and seem to have plenty of stamina. But don't rush. Do you actually enjoy playing?"
"Yes, I love it. I am a bit out of condition. I can move much faster."
"And you can smile. The ice queen act doesn't really suit you."
I blushed again. She had a strong Manchester accent and her face had taken on a softer quality.
"You must be quite bright too. I don't mean just getting in to uni. Geology with an International year. That's four years isn't it?"
I just nodded and added that it would give me an MSc.
Tonya smiled again.
"Geology students earn pretty well, so I have heard."
My reply was much more revealing than I had intended.
"It depends. The money is in oil and gas or minerals. That does involve a certain amount of prostitution to the oligarchs and robber barons."
I could have added that I already had considerable experience in that matter but nobody took what I had said too literally. I opened up a bit and had the happiest evening of my life. I had new friends who were interested in me and jokes apart, did not want to fuck me. I later found out that most of them did want to fuck me but were too mature to hit on me.
As I loosened up I confessed.
"I have never had a real boyfriend...or girlfriend."
Looks of concern and pity were universal and I was hugged.
Chloe, the most forward lesbian asked me.
"So, are you a virgin?"
I shook my head and started to cry. I could hardly tell them that I was a slut. Chloe was admonished and apologised. Now they thought I was an abuse victim which was even worse. The subject was quickly changed and drinking games ensued which got me off the hook and I basked in the bosom of the now raucous sisterhood. When I got home I fell asleep quickly after some very vigorous masturbation, fantasizing about Tonya.
Next day I bumped into Tonya in the uni canteen and joined her friends for lunch. They were all sport science students and naturally we talked about sport. They were pretty nosy and were soon quizzing me about my fitness regime. I had put on quite a bit of weight over the summer due to enforced inactivity and side effects of medication. I had even sprouted tits; albeit tiny ones. I still had no need for a bra. Fortunately, I had been able to restart my running and weights and had lost five kilos in the previous fortnight.
The netball team trained hard. There were several teams and equal attention was given to those who played for fun and the more competitive, like me. Our coach was openly gay and was married. She was strict but kind and made it crystal clear that her interest in our bodies was purely sporting. She was pretty hot though. My days of extracurricular activities were however behind me.
I saw Tonya most days, usually training but also at lunch and sometimes in the evening. She was always with friends which was good because it made it less obvious how much I fancied her. Or so I thought. I was far too scared to ask her out on a date. After two weeks, it was Tonya who broke the stalemate
Tonya had appointed herself as my personal trainer. She was slightly put out by my usual six am run and did not offer to join me. One Friday evening after lectures, we went for a run. I was not used to having a partner but it felt safer. Fat blob that I was, Tonya struggled to keep up with me. The pain in my quads felt good however and I managed briefly not to think about sex.
She was a little critical of my getting straight down to weights when we got back to my flat. My actual regime however was passed as adequate. I had installed a bench and free weights in the second bedroom. I started to get more than a bit damp as she stared at my body and even more so when she had an extensive non-sexual feel.
I insisted that she shower first and then I hopped in. I left the bathroom door open as she shamelessly explored the flat. I heard cupboard doors opening and shutting but I did not mind.
"Lovely flat, Cat. I hate to think what the rent is."
I emerged wrapped in a towel and rubbing my hair. I answered her question. Having spent my entire life lying it was liberating to be allowed to tell the truth even if I said more than I should. So, I said more than I should.
"I own it."
Her eyebrows raised playfully.
I took the plunge.
"Profits of crime."
"Don't tell me, you're a high-class hooker. Oh, shit. You are."
I had started to cry. Tonya hugged me tight and then her tongue was in my mouth and my towel was pooled around my feet. I pulled away and covered my tits and fanny with my hands. She put up her hands to placate me.
"I'm sorry. I've never done that before. I think I love you. I have never been attracted to a woman before but the first time I saw you I really fancied you. But you ignored me. I thought it was because I was black. I was in a gang for a bit and got pimped out so we're both bad girls."
