A week passed, then two, and then it had been a month since Jaysin had first come to my home. Winter was ending, and Spring was beginning to show herself in the lengthening of the days and warming of the air. I had no desire to pursue any other male, at first I had pined for him to return, hating myself for it, but desiring his touch - and the abuse - for the first weeks. My body had healed and I found myself becoming quite adept at keeping myself shaved and ready for him, though I truly doubted his return. It was now the first week of April and my feelings for him had become numb, but not entirely lost. Some nights, as I walked back to my apartment from classes I would start at shadows, expecting him ever still to reach out and grab me. Not that he'd ever done that on the street, but I never quite knew what he would be capable of.
I'd made several new friends, all of whom urged me to date, but I refused, Jaysin had left me without closure and I'd been unable to turn my attention to anyone because of that. I knew I was a fool to continue waiting, but something in me held onto hope of his return. I'd told my closest friends about him, not about the sexual encounters, I was too embarrassed to discuss them in detail, but enough still that they knew he'd been my first. It was normal, they said, to feel so strongly for him, but that he was a jerk to leave me and I should move on. Finally I gave in to them on the surface, told them I'd given up on him, and, as I was walking back from a club one Saturday night with Shayna, trying to beat a rather nasty looking thunderstorm while weaving amongst a crowd of other party-goers, I collided with someone who had stepped in my way and I looked up angrily first and then clapped my hand over my mouth to conceal a gasp of disbelief. "Jaysin!"
Shayna stared at him too and I saw her face pale slightly, fear evident in her expression. "You!" she gasped, her expression one of horror and disbelief. I thought she was about to tell him off but his eyes met hers and something passed between them. "I....I'll go on alone, Cass...you need to...you need to talk to...to him alone." she stumbled back a few steps and then turned and walked back towards the club we'd just left faster than I'd ever seen her walk before.
"Hello, Cassidy." he said, staring down at me coldly. His hair had grown even longer now and was lighter than it had been previously, as if he'd spent many long days in the sun. Though neatly done, his goatee was also longer and now, I noted from a glint of silver, his ears were pierced. He was wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and his arms were as well tanned as his face, which was darkened nicely enough to make his blue eyes that much more prominent.
"W-where have you been?" I hadn't meant to ask it, but it was out now, too late to make myself seem unconcerned. I winced inwardly at this slip, and then became painfully aware that other students, male and female were seeing me talking to him. Some of them looking at us curiously as we stood in the middle of the walk staring at each other.
"Working." he said, turning to walk with me as I started towards my apartment, pulled by my expectant inner desire to be alone with him again. "I was kept longer than I expected, for which I apologize." We passed a group of college aged young men, one of whom made a derisive comment about my virginal behavior to Jaysin. He stopped and turned to the young man and stared at him, even under his tan I could see him reddening.
"No...no Jaysin, it's okay." I said, putting a hand on his arm, which he gently removed. "Please."
"The only reason I won't hurt you is because she has asked me not to." Jaysin said and the young man sneered another comment, this time about Jaysin himself and it happened so fast I didn't see it. I felt Jaysin move beside me and heard a sickening crack that made me blink. When I looked down the young man was on the ground bleeding and unconcious and his buddies were backing away from Jaysin, who looked ready to fight them all. "I expect the next time you see this young woman you will show respect, whether she is in my company or not." They all nodded and set to helping their injured friend, none of them were laughing now.
"That really wasn't necessary." I said, dreading the visit from the campus or local police I thoroughly expected. "I could be expelled, you're not a student."
"You'll be fine." He said, then continued where he'd left off as if nothing had happened, though I could still feel the vibe of his anger radiating from him like the heat of a furnace. "Did you see anyone while I was gone?"
"No...no I just wasn't interested." I replied, feeling it was best I was honest, and thinking this was what he'd wanted to hear, but he shook his head. "What? I thought that was what you'd want from me."
"Oh, it is." He smiled slightly, his eyes still as cold as ever and some of the heat of his anger ebbing away, I felt it, felt the coolness of the coming rain again on the breeze which was no longer eclipsed by his rage. "I am proud that you were able to keep yourself for me. It will make things much easier."
"I'm sorry?" I asked, but we had arrived at my building and he was waiting for me to let us in and did not answer my question, as one of my neighbors was coming out. "Good evening." I greeted her, she looked at Jaysin and sidestepped him and hurried down the front steps, glancing back once, nervously. "Why do women do that when they see you?"
He shrugged, but did not answer nor did he look at me as we climbed the stairs to the third floor, where I lived, I unlocked the door and he stepped in and looked around, I'd redecorated while he was gone, due largely to the part-time job at the campus bookstore I'd landed just two weeks after he'd left. "You've been quite busy here." he said, smiling slightly. Thunder rumbled outside as I settled down on the couch and flipped on the television. "May I?" he gestured towards the bathroom and I nodded and turned my attention back to changing the channels.
He was returned momentarily and spoke again, startling me, as I wasn't used to him being there and he spoke from behind where I was sitting on the couch. "I'm gonna fix me a drink...you want something?" I shook my head, still trying to focus my attention on the television, trying to ignore him as well as I could. Finally he settled himself on the other end of the couch and turned his own attention to the television and I excused myself.
I went into my bedroom, my heart pounding madly, and flipped on the music cd he'd left behind months ago and crawled onto the bed, laying with my back to the door, my eyes closed tightly. I waited for a long time and he didn't come, my legs were getting chilly in the short skirt I'd been wearing and I pulled my blanket over me and drifted off to sleep.
I woke with a start, I was on my back and strong, rough hands were crawling up my thighs, up to remove my little thong underwear I'd taken to wearing in his absence. In the absence of the hands that now removed them. I could hear his breathing, but he didn't say a word, it was so dark I realized the power must be out, he couldn't see me but by the occasional flicker of lightning. He was moving by sense of touch mostly, for the storm was moving away, I felt him bite my thigh gently and fought the urge to respond, he thought I was still sleeping and I was interested in seeing how far he'd go. But remaining motionless once he'd begun, once he was reminding me of his talent for foreplay, was impossible. I squirmed and moaned and he held my hips firmly with his strong hands, trying to prevent my movement but not completely able due largely to the fact he was completely focussed on something else. Still he remained silent as he crept up and sank into me and I gasped but did not cry out, for he was kissing me roughly, his mouth closed over mine as if to take my cries into him. When I touched him he caught my hands and pinned them to the bed and gave a punishing thrust, releasing my mouth just long enough to hear the inevitable cry of pain, and then kissed me again. Throughout he did not speak until the very end, the very end when he was at his climax and I felt my own building so that just after his I also, for the first time, experienced mine. I did not smell blood this time, I noticed, when he left me and when he returned with a lit candle moments later I was relieved to find that there was no bleeding at all. He tossed me the inevitable towel and then lay down on the bed. I looked at him and realized that he looked not lean anymore but very nearly emaciated. "You...you've lost weight." I said in a soft voice and he peered from beneath his hands which were on their backs, fingers enterlaced across his eyes.
"I've been working very hard." He replied, re-covering his eyes, despite the fact there was only the light of one dim candle in the room. He looked at me from under his hands again. "I won't be staying long."
"Suit yourself." I said, as bravely as I could, I felt a sharp pang in my chest when he told me this and fought valiantly not to let him see that his words had dismayed and even hurt me. "Where do you go?"
"Home." he replied, simply, then turned his back to me. "Rub my back really lightly...yeah, like that." he was yawning and soon I heard his breathing grow regular and steady and I slid up beside him and put my left arm around his waist and closed my own eyes, though I lay awake until nearly sunrise, the power had long since come back on, before I finally drifted off.
The next day he slept still longer than I had, despite the fact I'd not fallen asleep until sunrise, he didn't wake until well into the afternoon. It was as if he'd not slept properly the entire time he'd been away to wherever he'd gone. I had already showered and dressed and was moving idly around the apartment, bored, when he came out of the bedroom, dressed, and looked at me sleepily. "What time is it?" He asked, stifling a yawn behind his hand, his hair was comically tousled from sleep.
"Nearly three, you were tired." I replied, looking up from the book I'd only just started reading, the television was on but I wasn't paying it much mind. "Are you going to be staying?"
"No." He said quietly, I could feel his eyes studying me for a reaction but I'd already prepared myself for this possibility and was braced well. "I've got things to do, really needed to have them done earlier. He sat on the couch and began pulling on his shoes, new black and white ones, I noted.
"Okay..." I said, closing the book and looking at him, my emotions in check for the most part. "I'm probably going out tonight if Shayna, the girl that was with me last night, calls back."
