porn made me feel like I had a neon billboard flashing the word
'freak!'
floating over my head.
The DVD featured a middle-aged woman with a body that was more plastic than flesh played a nun in a convent of twenty year old "school girls", who, one night was taken by a demon woman with a strap-on the length of her arm. As the busty nun shuddered and begged the demon to stop as the taller, even
bustier
demon pressed the nuns chest against the table and only pounded into her harder. As I watched the Demon "turn" the Nun into a latex-clad strap-on wielding succubus-nun by making her orgasm again and again until she surrendered her soul.
I kept the volume low, the walls and floors were thin after all, and gave a liberal squirt of KY into the sex toy, and on my cock, like it was some fleshy ice cream cone, and began fucking the toy as the scene changed to next morning. The now-succubus, swathed in the head to toe nun robes approaches the head Father, she gives him a cup of wine from her own hands. He begins to talk to her, sipping from the goblet, discussing some of the more promising students, then he starts tugging on his collar and squirming in his seat. The succubus's legs spread wider and wider apart as they talked, soon the door opened and a young woman walks in, sent there for punishment for "touching" herself.
The father makes her sit on his desk and demonstrate why she was sent, soon the woman is naked and laying on the succubus on his desk, her hips humping up and down strongly driving the strap on brutally into herself as the succubus's hands, gripping her by the pigtails, forced her mouth deep on the father's cock choking her as she begged and wept as she kept pounding her pussy on the strap on, culminating in a screeching orgasm as the father sprays his load across both their faces. As the squeals reach their crescendo, my eyes flutter close and my cock pulses rapidly as I orgasm into the sex toy's vibrating plastic snatch.
I sigh and press the toy to my pelvis, keeping the mess in as I hop into the bathroom and pull it off, washing the congealing goop from my crotch and toy quickly, which was rather irritating, I thought. If they could send a man to the moon, you'd think they'd be able to invent a self-cleaning sex toy. I dried myself and left the sex toy in the bathtub to air-dry.
I shut the tv and DVD off with an irritated swipe and flopped back into bed. Well then. Thirty minutes wasted there, now what? Truth be told, I wasn't looking forward to the upcoming date at all. All I wanted to do is spend the first few days of my vacation being lazy, sleeping late, with the alarm clock left unplugged for two whole weeks of freedom. Sure, I wanted to go to a movie, there's been a small handful that I'd been meaning to watch for a while now, but I didn't exactly think I'd enjoy it with some vapid, giggling school girl at my side, and me forcing a smile and feigning politeness. Honestly, it sounded too much like work to me. Pah, I snorted and picked up my glasses and book, a little mortification is good for the soul, after all.
I spent the rest of my time languidly reading my book, enjoying the feel of paper underneath my fingers until my watch beeped quietly at me, setting in motion the prerequisite cleaning and grooming that was necessary before a date. A lie by deed, I never tried so hard to groom myself and yet, even after I clean myself to the point of not having any scent, I splash myself with things that make me smell like an aromatic painter. Pleasant, granted, but on one level I wonder if I'm replacing one with another.
So, dressed in the clothes I go begging for job--ahem, I mean go to interviews in, I shut everything off and hopped on my bike, and thirty minutes later, I'm at the theater, standing outside the ticket booth, trying not to look bored, nor too enthusiastic for that matter. Five minutes pass and it becomes the appointed time, and nothing, then ten past the hour, then fifteen.
At seventeen past the hour, Ivy appeared out of the crowd with a frown. "I'm so sorry, she didn't want to come at the last instant."
I rolled my eyes and sighed, "And this is different from normal, how?"
Ivy smiled and grabbed my hand, tugging me towards the counter, "You need to get out anyway. Let's catch a movie and dinner, and just pretend I'm your date." She moved downwind, sniffed delicately and smiled, "I like lilacs."
"I, uh, thanks." I said, off balance, oddly pleased.
Ivy smiled at me, dragging me semi-willing into the theater. The movie was hyped to be the next summer blockbuster, but I didn't think it was worth the seven seventy-five for the ticket. It was a two-dollar renter, at best. Ivy oohed and aahed, and seemed to enjoy it, so I guess she enjoyed it.
"That was pretty good." Ivy said, dabbing the corners of her eyes with a napkin as we walked outside, detouring around small groups of people talking.
"It was okay. I didn't like the directing in the fight scenes."
"Oh?"
I smiled ruefully, "I'm a Hong Kong purist."
"Just what the hell does that mean?"
"Marital arts, even if it's fisticuffs, has it's own beauty to it. To incompletely show this art is, well, frankly disrespectful."
"The actors weren't that good at it, probably."
"Meh. Look at Neo, the fights were beautiful, and Keanu probably hadn't done a kata ever before that movie. No, I think it's a poor excuse to simulate excitement. Like a rule from horror applied to fighting."
"Huh. You wanna get something to eat?"
I thought about it for a second, "Sure, I can whip up something at home. Black eyed beans, cornbread, and some vegetable side dish."
"I meant out. Want to eat something out? Like outside your home?"
I thought about it for a second, "I could go for some chinese. There's this great place down on Tenth."
"Is that where you normally take your dates?"
"Well, um, no."
"I told you, just treat me just like any ordinary date."
"Ordinary date. Right." I paused, looking across the expanse of the parking lot, noting where happy couples arm in arm making their way towards or away from the theater. "Well, there's a nice place I go on 60th street. It's a block east of the church, I'll lead you there."
"I'll go with you." Ivy said earnestly, moving closer.
"I, uh, I don't have a car." I said, politely moving away.
"Then how did you get here?"
"I have a bike I rode here."
"I'd like that."
"Like what?"
"To ride it."
"If you can stand my driving, then sure."
"Oh, I think I won't mind your driving." She promised warmly.
"Uh, okay." I said, feeling that I'd missed a salient point in the conversation somewhere. We walked over to the beast, dodging slow moving cars picking their way through the lot. "There's a few problems with the thing I haven't had time to fix yet; I pick up a harmonic when I hit around fifty miles an hour and the whole bike starts to vibrate. It's almost uncontrollable around seventy."
"You can go seventy?"
"Downhill, stiff wind, throttle wide open, small child in the seat, y'know." I said with a grin as I straddled the beast and took it off the stand, turned it on, and looked back, my finger over the starter. "Well, all ashore that's going ashore." Ivy hesitantly stepped up and swung her leg over behind me and pressed herself against me. Her hands wrapping tightly around my midsection.
"Don't I get a helmet?"
"Left 'em at home. Didn't expect anyone would want to ride with me on the first date." Ivy response was drowned out by the whine of the starter, and then coughing spluttering growl of the engine as we picked our way out of the parking lot and then onto the highway. As I picked up speed in the slow lane, the vibrations kicked in, and after a few minutes Ivy squeezed me hard and laughed, her short hair whipping in the wind. In a certain light, she was beautiful.