Things were looking up for me in one area of life and I was more then ok with it. Professionally, I had managed to make in roads with great people and it was paying dividends of access to events and paid shoots I wouldn't have even sniffed at without their guidance and help.
Personally, well... that's a tiger of a different stripe. Kelsey Ann and I had coffee a few times. It was a bit awkward at first, but by the end of the first java date, we were at least back to being friends, that just happened to have had one hell of a sexual encounter with one another. If it ever went back down that road was unclear at best. Then there was Selena.
True to her word, she would call me up to scratch her itches when they struck. Once in a while I would call her to come over and fulfill her role as my toy. I didn't want to abuse that, because she was an awesome girl that I wasn't sure how I felt about. So, at the very least, I wasn't going to lead her on or twist things beyond repair just because she'd let me do what I wanted to her. And, she deserved that much at least.
She had been at my apartment when the bad little kitty I had been seeing but had since parted ways with showed up one night drunk and belligerent. Screaming at me that I was a fucking horrible lover and that I had abandoned her after she got pregnant. Selena's cool attitude in the middle of drama not only impressed me, but she was ready to beat down a bad kitten if it came down to it. It was that night I knew for sure she was down for the ride and I didn't want to stomp over that kind of devotion to me.
But, when you get right down to it, knowing that there were two women that would be happy to be my inspiration in life, the heart still wants what it desires and mine wouldn't let a certain dirty blonde go. I don't know what it was about her at this point that held such an attraction for me. And not being able to articulate that to her or myself for that matter was not going to end well for yours truly. That, however, is a bit later down this muddy road of love and life.
I thought things were going okay, but the morning texts had stopped. She was out of school now and working at a local hospital, St. Vincent's. She would disappear from any kind of interaction with me for days at a time and then appear out of the ethereal world for a hot minute only to fade away again. It was frustrating and maddening to me. I know I was damaged goods, but I had thought things had gone pretty good. That and the fact that her relationship with Layla's father was in a pretty brutal spot the way she told it. They were getting into physical altercations and the fighting verbally was just as bad.
As if all of that wasn't bad enough, he had been caught in a prostitute sting down in Bloomington. He managed to wiggle out of being charged even though he had been arrested and his name printed in the article about the round up in the local paper. When he saw the lady that opened the door, he changed his mind and turned around to leave. It came out later that he did that because the bait officer didn't look like the picture he had seen online. In the end, it just became fodder for his coworkers to bash him in the balls with. But he was the one she didn't seem to be able to leave, at least not for me.
It finally reached critical mass for me and I called her out of the blue. That was my first mistake. She was frantic and in a state of mind I had never witnessed her in before. The second mistake was asking her what was wrong. When she started to explain what was upside down in her life, my mind went blank. "I'm in the middle of a chemical abortion and I think I just past the fetus. The one clinic I tried to use is being shut down and this is more then I can handle," is all I can really recall Jade saying in that surreal conversation. I don't know why I was so devastated to hear her words. I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach by an ill tempered horse. And I couldn't explain why, even to myself.
Still in a haze, I hung up the phone and simply sat there for a while. A few things went through my mind that I really didn't want to contemplate. They would lead me to some rough truths or possibilities I didn't want to deal with at this exact moment. I mean, you do what you have to do in life, but I couldn't stop wondering who she had been with that wasn't me. I had a few things on the tip of my tongue but the words ultimately failed me. I had only really been heartbroken once before when I was still a teenager, but the second time as an adult was a real bitch.
Now, to my credit, I didn't just go out and fuck the sorrow out of my soul with random women, unlike in my recent past, as it had seemed like a good way to forget things for a while at the time. So what's the next best thing? I started working at an adult novelty store. That's right, I became the manager of a sex toy shop. I wanted to be so busy that I didn't have time to reflect on how stupid I had been for falling for a woman that was poison in my veins. I was still a photographer slash videographer but, it wasn't enough.
It was a slow point in the photography season and I had an open offer given to me by a client. I was the photographer at his wedding with his long time companion. Dave and Mark had had a rough time finding anyone willing to do their special day that actually knew what they were doing. It didn't bother me to cover a gay wedding. It was wonderfully coordinated and the tip was quite nice. The ball gags tied to their car with the 'Just Married' sign was a bit strange, but the looks people gave were precious. Dave had been quite impressed with my eye for detail when I handed him his wedding album. He handed me his card and said to call him if I ever wanted to take him up on a career change.
He just happened to be the district manager for the chain of the adult toy stores that I ended up working at. He let it be know that if I ever wanted a job, he was the man to see. So, one day not long after that conversation with Jade, I found his card, called him up, and said let's do this. Little did I know that was like drinking tea from the Mad Hatter and the rabbit hole I jumped into was deep and strange.
But instead of winding up in a fantasy land, I landed in the next best thing... a strip mall. Priscilla's was a chain of stores that catered to the basics of human sexuality. If you could wear it, lube with it, insert it, or watch it we had it for your consumption. And my store was in the crossroads of quite a few demographics which made the customer base extremely interesting.
I had deputy sheriffs, house wives, strippers, dojo instructors, truckers... you name it and I saw them all come through my store at one time or another. I was the Cheers of sex, kink, and toys. And let me tell you as if you couldn't already guess, selling sex related items was a good business plan to have. Not that we sold the sex itself, but the accessories to make sex better? Come into my parlour said the spider to the fly. The store I was in charge of hadn't been open very long before I took over the reigns. It was pretty fun to see where things would go.