I'm envious of people who can lead a structured life and be fine with a set routine from day to day. Same alarm for the same job, the same rigmarole for getting the kids ready for school five days a week, and even having the same missionary sex on Saturday night because that's just the way it is, is wholly depressing to me to seriously contemplate.
It's cool to have a system in place, don't get me wrong. I have my ridiculously OCD routine getting the cameras ready for work so deeply embedded in my brain I do things automatically before a shoot now. Clients do find the reciting of Peter Gabriel songs a little strange. Given enough time though, they eventually agree with me he was much better solo then in Genesis. But that still allows for turmoil to not bother me in the slightest when things routinely blow up without warning. 'Hey, can you get a shot of him doing a line of coke off of the bare ass of this chic dressed as a Smurf in a bikini instead?' ... Absolutely.
After a while, it even bums me out if goofy or unconnected events don't show up to ambush me from out of the blue. I guess Mustaine isn't the only one addicted to chaos. Sorry, I'll keep the music references to a minimum. Good for you though if you didn't have to Google it. (Laughing) A good case to highlight this is my third and likely last group shoot at the IAC. The hosting was fabulous in the previous times I had gone and I really enjoyed some of the models I shot, some I've even stayed in touch with over the years. But I had started to feel this well was almost dry artistically speaking. You can only shoot the same stairwell so many times with different people and substitute out the pretty outfits before it gets old.
If it really was the last one, I wasn't going to go boring and bland on the way out the door. I decided to go a little more, risque with ideas, at least more so since moving out to my new adopted home town. I had a creative block and was unsure what it was going to be just yet. I knew who I longed to have involved in my suave schemes as the crowning jewel. It just wasn't clear at the moment what I was going to concoct to get her in front of my camera. The devil is in the details as we all know. In the middle of planning my fiendish little adventure, my phone rang. It was Kelsey Ann from the MediaLab Studios. She wanted to see me at 7:00 p.m. to discuss a proposition.
***
For my great sense of timing, I was running late after getting caught in rubber necking drivers peeking on an accident on I-70 and pulled into the parking lot around back of the building about fifteen minutes behind schedule. MediaLab was a small visual arts media company run, owned, and mostly operated by one woman. The level of professionalism she showed on a project a buddy of mine had hired her for was top notch.
After he royally botched pretty much every bit of a promotional video for the AAA Indians minor league team he worked for, Kelsey Ann made it phenomenal. She not only saved his ass from being demoted to popcorn boy, she got him a damn promotion to whatever the hell his made up title became. She knew her stuff and got paid quite well to make the magic happen for her clients. She battled her way against the bigger boys in her field with amazing results and I admired her for her moxy. She possessed a force of will that couldn't go unnoticed from the very first handshake at hello.
When I met her the initial time, the furthest thing on my mind was anything remotely sexual. Business is business and when you meet someone you absolutely
can count on in my world, you don't mix in pleasure. She was dependable and her routines were predictable. I knew where she would be waiting for me at already. Any time you'd walk into the main editing suite she could always be found with her hair in a messy bun, glasses down her nose, and inevitably cursing a cameraman or photographer's lineage out under her breath for being born such a talentless jackass.
The fact I heard music playing from up ahead instead of a potty mouthed sailor on shore leave echoing down the hallway was my first indicator that things were amiss. The song had that sweet Motown sound to it that makes it hard to not to think a person is trying to set a certain, inviting, mood. The second indication was the normally brightly lit room seemed dark with flickering lights chasing the shadows coming through the doorway.
That unmistakable smell of expensive, but light, perfume drifting in the air gave that simple doorway the enchanting power to be a portal to another dimension. It also represented a ethical dilemma. The situation I found myself in was like crossing the streams in Ghostbusters. I hate being indecisive about things especially when it boils down to an either or choice like now. Do you stay a professional or do you let your cock think for you? Either bust through there like the Kool-aid Man or hope she hadn't noticed me yet and make a strategic withdrawal plan.
Mike Tyson is attributed as to having said that everyone has a plan until you get hit in the mouth. I couldn't even scratch out the rough draft of a cowardly retreat in my head when I was hit in the middle of a place more painful then my mouth, my pride as a man.
"Are you going to come in or do you plan on standing in the hallway all night? I'll only bite if you ask nicely," she asked in a very innocent voice. She had a light giggle in her words that I had never heard her use before. The gauntlet had been thrown down at my feet. In that moment I made my decision. Rome was on fire and I was going to play the fiddle and dance like a loon while it burned. I mean, I had lost any shame years ago when I got down to the truth of it. Might as well see where this crazy train ended up. Plus, I have a soft spot for a woman who comes after me for a change of pace.
The pace of my heart certainly quickened a small bit when I saw her as I crossed that threshold of no return into the suite. She was about medium height, had alluring dark features with hazel eyes, a voluptuous figure, and was leaning against her desk, legs in full view, with only a man's button up shirt on just barely covering herself and had a drink in her hand that was almost empty. The half empty bottle of Tito's and a smaller bottle of cranberry juice explained she had been waiting for longer then I had thought for me to be here.
"Sorry," I replied. "There was an accident I had to get through on the way here and I was trying to guess the song that was playing." I might have been contemplating leaving, but I sure as hell couldn't say that now. I was all in now anyway to see where this escapade ended. There was enough tension in the room in this very moment that one tiny spark would set off that smell of gun powder in the air and cause an explosion.
With a soft laugh she called my bluff, "You do remember I had a surveillance camera put in after that asshat salesman drama, right? Whatever you were thinking about had nothing to do with music. But the face you made right before coming in explains why she asked about you."
I had completely forgotten about that incident. A very high pressure sales idiot had come in without an appointment trying to unload high speed internet service for business customers to the studio. He was so over the top in not taking no for an answer a couple of guys in the Crossfit box next door heard the commotion and came over to check on her. The two very large Marines showed the tool how to break a fall on cement with only his face and things quickly quieted down. After that she had a company come out and install a remote door entry system and the electric eye. I wasn't in the habit of stopping by after hours so I never paid it any mind. It did mean she had known as soon as I made my way into her domain. She had been in full control from the moment I opened the front door of the shop.
All of this flashed through my head in an instant. Two things wiggled their way into my racing thoughts. My face? It must have been when I had made up my mind I'd take whatever was going to be offered and not be ashamed to refuse to give any of it back later. And my god, this must be what a mouse feels like when the cat is being... wait. She? Who the hell had Kelsey Ann been talking to? To my credit none of the sense of dread I felt coming on ever made it to my face.
If I was going to be sunk, I'd fire all the guns until the water came over the railing.