In a part of the world seen as fly over country by most of the people I knew, I found the girl I didn't know I wanted and it completely blew me away. After the shoot, I managed to get her name and slyly found a way to get her to keep talking to me. It was so perfect I couldn't believe it. She was going to school for something positive and that it was in the medical field and made no sense to me whatsoever at the time. While she had a kid already, I wasn't even fazed by that. I mean, honestly, I was only thinking with my cock at that point, and nothing really mattered as long as I could do some very intimate things to her... repeatedly. But you really can't open with that and I figured it was better to try conversation first.
Have you ever noticed most people suck at small talk? Unless it's about videography, late 90s bands, or do I think pot should be legal or not, I got nothing. And then, some pretty strong cards started to fall on both sides as time went on. We started to share personal things and it was scary how naturally it seemed to happened. By no big surprise she was still living with the baby's dad, and her situation was, entrenched, to say the least. I had started to see someone in an advertising firm, but to me, I was the bull that had seen red and all I could think about was a female I barely knew in a town I barely had lived in for a year at this point. I couldn't say that to her, not yet anyway. For the first time that I could remember, I was doing more listening than talking and with her I was strangely okay with it.
It was like the planets were aligning in a perfect formation to deliver this angelic woman into my lap. And I knew I had better get moving on sweeping her off her feet. In my ego fueled bravado I was sure any girl that I could get to laugh and talk to me was an easy score. But not her, not Jade. No, she was a creature the likes of which I had never encountered before. She had all the things I wanted, but I could only get so far into defenses before things got sidewise in my life again. I tell you I attract drama filled women and at least I was consistent in my love life with this one too.
The promiscuous kitten I was with turned out to be pregnant and wasn't sure who the father was. That can hurt the old ego no matter who you are. She was my safe fuck at home, but apparently I was not on as exclusive rights with her as I thought. And while Jade was up and down with her somewhat significant other, she had her own mystique about her that not everything she was up to was being told either. I mean, I would have been foolish to think I was the only one going for that ass. I couldn't hold that against her either. You look for what feels the best, even while you're not exactly on the free market.
That though, would be an issue for later, and not necessarily would I have stopped anything even if I had known. About that time I had the first dream about her. I'm not talking about just a quick cameo either. It was something that made me long for her, ya know those kinda bizarre dreams? The ones that fade away like our youth and only leaves an aching in your heart and your loins. Not this one, though. This one I'm keeping for all it's worth.
In the dream, I was shooting the band, Aerosmith, on their Love In An Elevator cycle at Deer Creek amphitheatre and just happened to see her there in the crowd not that far away from me. I've made friends at every venue I've ever shot at and in the dream, this place was no different. After I got my shots, I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her behind me as I had an all access pass to go wherever. No one would question it then, unlike now, but why would they? "I'm with the band, man!"
Having a camera and a very attractive fan in short shorts can get you in a lot of places. We eventually ended up in the headliner's dressing room that didn't have a soul in it at the moment. The managers knew not to have the groupies in too soon for Steven or things tended not to go well. Over the course of us talking she had said she was very much a go with flow kind of person and at that moment, even if it was only happening in R.E.M. sleep, I was praying to any bored deity that would listen that she really was that kind of lover. I am proud of how my dream self wasn't going to waste an opportunity to takes some hopefully killer shots with a very expensive camera I just happened to have in my possession that night.
And without regrets, I had turned on the camera and put it into a timed mode where every so often it would snap the shutter to collect a reminder of the first conquest I was about to have over her. I know that isn't politically correct now, but that's how immature I was then and fuck you it was my dream after all. (Laughing)
She was standing in front of a mirror with lights over top of it looking at the personal items left out by whoever used this particular one last. My dream self had his timer going and knew he had to make a quick decision. Now, I have made passionate love and I have fucked many, many times. Not all of those am I proud of, by the way. As you get older though, and at a point I really hadn't noticed, you begin to want one more then the other.
