I would like to thank Francois101 for the editing. It is a tremendous help.
For newcomers, this is the 6
th
installment of what I'm calling the Criminal Affair Series, which started with the ten-part Criminal Affair. Order of stories for continuity is as follows.
Criminal Affair (ten-part series)
The Sorority
The Irishman at the End of the Bar
A Shoulder to Cry On
A Perfect Match
The Second Booth at Horseshoe Diner
-
If you have the time, stop by the message forums and check out the nominees for 2019 Novel/Novella of the year. Voting ends at the end of May, so make sure your voice is heard.
-
Friday - July 24, 2026
-Billie White-
It is a small miracle when both Nathan and I wake up before Daisy. A typical morning is me greeted with the big blue eyes of my four-year-old. I would blink a few times, and she will ask for breakfast before saying good morning. This morning I open my eyes and see my closet door. What an incredible change of pace.
I roll to my side, and see Nathan lying flat on his back. He had kicked the blanket off in his sleep, but the edge of the sheet was resting on his stomach. I watch his chest rise and fall, and the outlines of the muscles on his abs. I see the morning stubble he will likely shave within the next hour. His infuriatingly long eyelashes.
In high school and college, I hated men like Nathan. Something about the testosterone infused nature of a guy like that rubbed me the wrong way. That was mostly my young feminist mind after reading Simone de Beauvoir's
The Second Sex
when I was a high school sophomore. Simone started a tidal wave of feminist reading material. I experimented plenty, but my sexual urges always defaulted to men against my best efforts.
When I conceded that I was straight during my freshman year of college, I tended to date less than masculine men. Vegan men in skinny jeans with man buns who ask for soymilk in their lattes. In retrospect, I should have reevaluated my dating choices when I have been cheated on twelve times.. I did not learn the lesson as fast as I should have, but the last one I dated like that was my ex Leslie. I think it made me feel stronger to be around men who I felt were weak. Then I realized it was camouflage for assholes.
What started my transition was meeting Jill, the kind of woman I thought I was. She never pretended to be someone else, and she always exuded authenticity. I was not surprised in the least when the first time we really talked in any significant way she was asking to borrow clothes because she did not have anything professional. She was a uniformed police officer, so never had to worry about that. I would see her leave her apartment looking like an undergraduate going to a frat party. I had a good idea of what she was doing, and she looked rather pleased with herself.
My mind shifted when I saw that her being with Derek, did not make her look weak. If anything, it made her stronger. Derek was not someone she needed; she just wanted him. They are both such dominating forces, I am still amazed how they could ever agree on anything. I could not comprehend how they did not make each other feel inferior. Then I met Nathan and started to understand.
Nathan was the very thing I had intentionally avoided dating my entire life. Oozing charisma, physically in shape, more traditionally dressed and groomed, with a pinch of liberally inserting the word fuck into every other sentence. Basically, a frat boy. My worst nightmare. Or was it my darkest desire?
We met at the courthouse. I was there for the sixth public defender case of the day. He was exiting the courtroom after testifying for a drug case. He was the first person who interacted with the suspect who attempted to shoot him. Nathan threw the guy into a wall and out the next room. His statement went well enough and he loosened his tie before sitting down to check his phone outside of the courtroom.
I looked up from my case, then back down at the folder. I somehow always got stuck with the gangbangers. When I met him, I saw the face tattoos and the charge, and immediately said to myself, "This mother fucker better plead guilty."
"You representing the gang I rolled up last week?" Nathan asked, and I raise my eyes to him. I knew Nathan was SWAT when he asked that, because the case stated who the arresting unit was.
"Some of them," I said, then look back down at my folder. "I'm trying to go over the case."
"No you're not," Nathan said, and I look up fully this time. "You made up your mind the moment you saw them. Clean arrest, clean warrants, unlicensed weapons, prior arrests, and fucking face tattoos. They're pleading guilty for the street cred."
We looked at each other and say nothing for long enough to blink five times.
"Nathan," he said to introduce himself.
"Lawyer. Busy lawyer," I said, then went back to pretending to look at my file. He was one hundred percent correct. He knew he was. Nathan walked across the hall and sat next to me. I was so accustomed to men who ask to kiss me, right before they all cheated on me, that I did not know how to react to his forwardness.
"Let's try that again. I'm Nathan," he said, holding out his hand for a shake.
"Still a busy lawyer," I said.
"Named?" That natural charisma did not take long to break me.
"Billie," I said, and shook his hand. "Billie Brooks."
"Nathan White," he said. "Pleasure to meet you."
That is not when we started dating, or even when he asked me out. It was a year before we even had coffee. It set the foundation. Sometimes we saw each other at the courthouse. Sometimes I saw him at the Police HQ. I had been single for two years and incredibly horny for something not a dildo, that I ended up asking him for coffee, which he happily agreed. Was that his plan all along? Make me ask him?
I learned Nathan was former Air Force Pararescue and left the military after six years. He was a patrol officer for three years, before he was selected for SWAT where he had been for the last eight years. He was thirty-five, and I was thirty-six. He did not look it, but he had a bachelor's degree in Education he finished in the Air Force. Like me, he had never been married, and did not have any kids. That he knew about at least.
We still did not start dating, but we did become friends. Shortly after our first coffee, we both attended a party to congratulate Derek being promoted to Lieutenant. Jill saw me looking at him and told me to stop putting it off. We arrived at the party separately, but we left together.
We did the deed at my apartment. It was a fun balance of being controlled and being in control. It did not feel like a power imbalance either way. I told him I was on birth control, but he still pulled out and jerked himself off on my stomach and bush. He told me to keep the bush because he preferred it. In truth I had just been single for too long.