Chapter 7
With a shriek Magnolia shot behind Kitty when Skye, in a smelly tracksuit and platform shoes raising her beyond her normal height of six foot two inches, entered the bar at 8:58 and snarled, "Where is this gay woman?"
"Skye, calm down. For your information this is Lady Fitzroy but you are to call her Magnolia. And she's not gay; she's ex-gay and is engaged in sexual relations with only her husband. Also mess with her and you mess with me. Got it!
"Yes boss."
"Please always call me Kitty. Now kiss me on the cheek, lightly."
"Thank you, that was sweet. Now apologize to Magnolia for mistakenly calling her gay and kiss her on the cheek."
"She's gay, I should swat her."
"Skye?"
"Yes boss."
"Skye!"
"Okay Kitty. You're the boss. Ma'am, my mouth runneth over at times and please forgive me. I must say you look sexy."
"Thank you Skye," Magnolia smiled. "You must see at lot of it way up there."
"Huh."
"Oh never mind. Kiss me Skye but on the cheek."
"I have no alternative. I don't kiss ass."
They all laughed and Sky gave Magnolia a peck on the cheek.
Kitty said to Magnolia to take Skye out and buy her three new tracksuit and one business outfit for formal occasions. "You may have to buy her a suit from a men's outfitters. Also footwear of her choice that meets your approval. Also lipstick..."
"No lipstick and definitely no bra."
"Whatever she says Magnolia and please don't let her hit anyone until you are really under threat."
"Why not, it could be fun."
"Because they'll be hospitalized, that's why."
"Oh God, so you think I'll be safe with her?"
Kitty said more than Magnolia could imagine. She asked Magnolia to file the receipts under a new file called Undercover Work because the charges would be billed to CBII.
"What's the CBII?"
Kitty said, "You want won't to know Magnolia, believe me."
"If you find out I'll have to twist your neck so your head faces the other way."
"Oh God."
"Skye, shut up and stop scaring her. Oh, here's the deal you two. Skye I want you to teach Magnolia to toughen up but please try to do that without bruising her or scaring her out of her mind. Magnolia, in return I want you to teach Skye how to be more feminine but please, please, don't force her into a bra but let her try one if she wants to. Magnolia, go against her and your neck will sit on your shoulders wrong way round."
"Oh God."
Kitty was about to head off for lunch when Magnolia and Skye arrived, laughing and appearing to be bosom buddies. Kitty was thrilled unless she saw Skye's almost closed eye.
"What happened?" Kitty groaned.
"Well boss..."
"Skye, leave this to me," Magnolia said firmly. "Kitty, it wasn't our fault. We'd finished shopping and were on our way back when this big woman accosted me and called me a lesbian mongrel, took a swing and clipped my left ear. I considered myself under attack so I kicked her in the guts, winding her. Her husband, a big guy, hit Skye over the eye so she flattened him, sending him back six feet and knocking over two jeering youths in the process. The cops appeared from nowhere..."
Kitty cried, "The Police, oh God!" and was told by Magnolia not to make a fuss.
Magnolia was asked to continue.
"Witnesses told the cops the abusive woman hit me first and I simply defended myself by lifting up my foot and the woman ran into it."
"And the cops accepted that explanation?"
"Yes. The two youths who were knocked over claimed Skye simply hit their dad and knocked him out cold. Skye showed the policewoman her eye swelling eye and the cop said the guy must have hit her first but the sergeant said both men would be taken in for street brawling. Skye said that's not fair because she was hit first and besides, she was a woman. The sergeant said he very much doubted that so Skye opened her shirt and said, 'What are these?' And the constable said told her sergeant she did have small ears and small feet for her size and was wearing high heels. Everyone laughed and the sergeant said to me, who are you -- Johnny Depp? I told him not to be so rude, that I was the wife of the President and we were told to push off before we were arrested for disturbing the peace and me on an extra charge of attempting to impersonate the President's wife. We left the scene as a ambulance arrived."
"Why was an ambulance called?"
"Because when the big guy came around he asked, 'Who hit me?' and his younger son said 'A woman dad' and he fell back on to the pavement and split open the back of his head."
"Oh God, you two are grounded."
"Er Kitty, aren't you forgetting something. I'm the boss."
"Oh sorry Magnolia, you better rest."
"No, I'm fine. You are the one that looks traumatized."
"I'll recover when I get away from you two. Where is the shopping?"
"We left everything at the last store and Skye called someone as what she called the Bureau and asked them to make a special delivery."
Kitty walked off with a hand over her forehead muttering, "But we have unauthorized and therefore illegal security cover, we have unauthorized and therefore illegal security pick up and delivery of goods. I'll be sentenced to prison."
"Don't worry, I'll fix it Kitty."
"You of all people Magnolia?" muttered Kitty to herself. "That's as unlikely as regular snowfalls on Sunny Island."
Kitty had managed to stabilize herself by the time she arrived at the restaurant despite claiming she was useless as an administrator and wouldn't even to be capable of keeping a dog on a leash under control. Having to nurse along Magnolia and her hulk buddy who was a walking disaster would be a nightmare. She groaned, "What have I done to deserve this?"
The restaurant manager, recognizing her, rushed away and returned with a whisky. "Down the hatch Kitty and smile."
She smiled, swallowed the shot in one gulp, coughed, choked and straightened up smiling. "Thanks Ivan, you're a regular Florence Nightingale."
Ivan thought he should accept that as a compliment.
Shortly after the two women met for lunch -- Kitty appearing to be a bit liquored up -- Megan was being hailed as one of Kitty's best friends.
"But we have never liked one another?"
"A mere technicality dear Meg -- may I call you Meg? You just stop playing one media contact against another, one network against another to suit your own convenience or game plan and instead treat them all, as equal and you'll have no criticism from me. I'll tell you this Meg, when the chips are down you'll want everyone onside. No one can hit back like a media man or women who feels shafted at not receiving a fair deal at accessing news."
"What you are saying makes sense Kitty. I guess I lack your experience to have that overview."
"Play fair, be seen to be playing fair and some of them may even start to like you and that surely must be good. Is there anyone in the regular pack that catches your eye."
"Peter Wing."
"Nice choice and he's recently divorced. I'll have a confidential word and it could well be your lucky day, I mean night or perhaps even one thousand and one nights."
They kissed as they parted and that was a first for them. "Oh Meg, I'll have a chat to the chief of staff about your accommodation. There is no need for accounts to be where they are."
"But that's prime office space."
"It's where the media expect to find you and your crew Meg. It's on a par where you were previously."
"Ah, so it is. Does that mean I've learnt my lesson?"
"You are so sharp Meg. Keep on track and you'll go far."
Kitty departed smiling, hearing Meg call, "You are so inspirational Kitty."
Muttering, Kitty said, "No Meg, I'm a scheming, devious bitch and will probably be arrested within the hour for breaking some section of secret legislation. The only way I can expect mercy is to appeal to that rotten PM and I know what he'll want from me in return, the rotten monster."
She returned to the bar and the bartender came over and said the other two had gone to late lunch. The woman asked could she fetch Kitty a coffee. She was thanked and asked to make it strong and black.
Kitty opened a note stuck under the corner of her keyboard.
I called Gerry and said you were concerned for my safety in public and he said he'd get someone assigned to me 24/7 and he or she could live with us as family. I asked him to copy the instruction to me and could I kindly have the instruction timed to commence from 9 am this morning to ensure the person got a full day's pay in being assigned to me. It arrived and is filed in the new Undercover Work file.
The Boss
.
Kitty folded over her keyboard and wept in relief. She was so lucky working with The Boss and Skye.
Her phone went and she wiped her eyes and took the call, thanking Gloria who'd arrived with coffee.
"Hi Jim."
"Oh hi. We have been told of an interesting disturbance in O'Connell Street a couple of hours ago. One witness said a big woman who doesn't wear a bra knocked out cold a guy bigger than her and he was carted off to hospital. A woman claiming to be the President's wife kicked the guy's wife in the guts for calling her a lesbian. Lady Fitzroy hasn't been given a bodyguard has she?"
"Oh God Jim, you've exposed an oversight. I must arrange that now. Magnolia has been with me all morning and at present is somewhere in the building having late lunch as she worked right through with me on our strategic plan."
"Damn, I was working on a hunch. Too bad. Oh, Chase is out of here sometime tomorrow. When can we do it?"
"I'd say after some serious courtship. I am available on Saturday for lunch and then perhaps for a walk through the botanical gardens. Bye Jim. Oh, a concert Sunday would be lovely."
The President's chief of staff, now working daily with the President at Parliament during the period of Civic Emergency, took a call and passed the caller on. Gerry said cheerfully, "Hello Mr Gee, calling to harass me and my wife?"
"Sorry for the interruption to your busy day Mr President, but I was wanting to talk to Lady Fitzroy."
"Well she'd not here. But she called less than an hour ago about something and said she was off to lunch. She's been working on a strategic plan."
"Do you know where she's eating?"
"No and we have eight cafes and restaurants in this building plus the MP's and VIP Restaurant which is closed at present. Now may I get on with running the country?"
"Yes Mr President."
"How very civil of you Jim."
At about that time two men in hats, dark sunglasses, black shirts without ties and wearing light gray suits, looking like either gangsters or secret service agents, walked up to Kitty and one guy said out of the corner of his mouth, "Miss Kitty Loveridge?"
"It is I?'
"Shouldn't you say it is me?"
"I had a classical education."
"What's that?"
"If you don't know you don't need to know."
"One smart lady eh? Show me ID before I hand over this stuff."
Kitty handed over her Parliament security ID and the guy looked at it and looked at her.
