I was anxious and fidgeting, tapping my fingers and looking around. I couldn't sit still, so I got up and paced the room again. I had to keep calm and I knew it. I remembered a breathing exercise mom taught me when I was young.
"Whenever you feel overwhelmed or anxious, sit in a quiet space, close your eyes and breathe deeply in through your nose, then all the way out through your mouth. Do this 10 times, and you won't feel as upset or anxious anymore," mom used to say.
I walked to the window overlooking a dark courtyard, pulled a chair over, sat down and controlled my breathing. After 10 deep inhales and exhales, I started feeling better. I stayed there looking out the dark window for a few minutes with tears in my eyes before the nurse called for me.
"Jeff Baker," she called.
"Uh, yes, that's me," I said, tripping over the chair as I stood up to walk towards her.
"Jeff Baker, here for Amy Beaufort," she confirmed.
"Yes," I said.
"Amy is sedated, so she won't respond. She's hooked up to monitors and a ventilator, just so you're aware. Here she is. Go on in," the nurse opened the door and led me inside.
As soon as I saw Amy, I tried to hold back the tears as I sat down in the chair next to her bed and cried, holding her hand to my forehead.
"I'll come check on her in a little while," the nurse said before leaving and shutting the door behind her.
"Thank you," I said, choking up.
I sat there watching the monitors and holding her hand. I talked to her and brushed her hair behind her ear. Her injuries looked bad and her face was swollen and had a large cast on her leg. She had bandages over her eye and head. Her arms and legs were wrapped in sterile white gauze, and a few small spots of dried blood seeped through. I looked at her in disbelief and sighed. Soon the nurse came back and I asked if she knew what happened. The nurse said it was attempted rape according to the police.
'Rape,' I thought, surprised.
My blood boiled. I didn't know who attacked her or why, but I did know one thing, I was going to kill them.
The next morning, I woke to a phone call from John.
"Hey, buddy. How are you both doing," John asked sympathetically.
"Uh, well, she's still out. Her vitals are fine, and she's breathing on her own now, but she hasn't woken up yet," I explained, voice shaky.
"So slowly progressing. Good. Sounds like she's making it through. I'm glad. And yourself, how are you holding up? Anything we can do to help," he asked.
"I'm, uh, yeah, I'm ok, I guess... The last time I was in a hospital overnight like this, it was with my mom. She passed shortly after Greg & I left that afternoon. I'm trying my best not to let my mind go there, though. I think, uh, I'm, I'm going to stay up here with her until she's discharged," I said, my voice trembling now.
"Look, Jeff. I know the kind hearted guy you are. I'd do anything for you, buddy, and even though you don't work for me anymore, I'd like to offer you a contractor job. Sound good? Maybe now isn't the time, but I just wanted to put a bug in your ear. We can talk about it later," John asked.
"Yeah, later. Thanks. I really appreciate you checking in and once she wakes up I'm told she can have visitors if you wanted to come up," I said as tears started rolling down my face.
"Don't mention it, bud. Keep us updated and I'll make a trip up there," John said.
"Yeah, of course. Thanks again," I said.
Then I hung up the phone and leaned my arms on the window sill and stared out over a wet, rainy parking lot full of cars and a few bustling people. I sniffled and let my emotions take over. I hadn't yet truly mourned mom's death yet, even after 6 years, and now it was all rushing forward. I couldn't hold back any longer. I sobbed so hard my knees gave out and I squatted down in front of the window. I sobbed for a good 10 minutes, wiping my face on my shirt. Then my crying slowed down and I looked back out the window. I sighed and sniffled and turned to sit back down. When I turned I saw Amy's eyes were open. She was still out of it but at least she was awake.
"Oh my god, Amy! Y-you're awake," I said, fervently,
"Someone? She's awake! Amy is awake," I yelled out the door.
Three nurses ran into the room to check on her. She looked around at them, not understanding what was happening or why she was in a hospital bed. Her heart rate escalated and her breathing became more rapid. The nurses started pushing buttons and checking her uninjured eye. Then Amy saw me. She squinted a watery eye and tried to talk, but she had a tube down her throat which prevented her from talking. I ran over and grabbed her hand and stroked it while the nurses worked on her.
"Hi! I'm here. You're going to be ok. I'm not going anywhere," I said, attempting to calm her enough for the nurses to remove the tubes while attempting to be strong for her.
"Amy, we need you to try and breathe and stay calm for a minute, ok? We're going to take the tubes out. It will hurt for a second, but we'll try and make it quick," the head nurse said.
I held her hand and held eye contact until they successfully removed the tube, and caught a small amount of vomit.
"Try not to let her cry hard or yell or scream. That tube does a number to your throat and if you try to talk normally, it will hurt a lot," the head nurse advised me, then patted me on the shoulder and gave me a smile and a nod then left the room.
It was only Amy & I now. The room was silent except for her soft whimpering. She was shaking as she squeezed my hand. She stared at me as the tears ran down her face. I sat on the bed and held her hand tight as she cried. I wanted to fix this so bad I could taste it, or maybe that was the blood from my tongue after biting it as I was sobbing earlier? She looked up at me and tried to talk. I placed my finger on her lips, shushing her, then handed her a pad and pen so she could write.
"What happened," she wrote and handed it to me.
"You were attacked at the office. The attacker tried to rape and could have killed you. They beat you up pretty badly. Frank called 911 and subdued your attacker. The police hauled him off to jail after the ambulance brought you here. They rushed you into surgery as soon as you arrived. You've been here since last night" I said. She could hear me. She just couldn't talk.
Her eyes widened and her face instantly frowned. She started crying harder this time. I held her hand tighter knowing she was tired, in pain and probably scared. I assured her that I wasn't leaving the hospital until she did, and if I needed someone to bring clothes, I would shower there and sleep in that uncomfortable hospital chair. She nodded her head, happy I was there and that I was staying and mouthed "ok."
Six days later, the doctor discharged her. I wheeled her out to the car, lifted her out of the wheelchair and placed her in the car. Her wounds were wrapped well and the cast was bulky, so I tried to be careful. She winced only a couple times. When I climbed in the car, I looked at her and smiled before starting the car.
She turned and smiled back at me.
"What, sweetheart? You ok," she asked, voice scratchy, but smiling.
"Yeah. I'm ok. That just scared the shit out of me," I said, smiling back at her.
I backed out of the parking spot, paid for the parking, and we drove home, her hand in mind.