The Nanny Clause

Chapter 10

It's been a very trying day. Two weeks in and Ava is only acting worse and worse by the day. She's been throwing fits all day. When we went to the beach with Helen, she threw sand at us and stormed off to find her father, who, of course, was at the library. He's only spent three nights with her this entire time, including the weekends which, conveniently were consumed with work too. I don't believe him when he says he's not like this at home. I believe Ava's actions and reactions.

Which is why we are seated at the school table now, trying to focus on worksheets. I think maybe some structure really is what she needs. She has a week to get into the flow of things for school when we return and I'd be doing her a disservice if I neglected the fact that she will need to sit still and follow rules next week. I point to a few words on the page and encourage her to read them.

"Come on, Ava. I know you know what those words are. Read them to me."

Her round cheeks and curly pigtails don't charm me today. She is very intelligent, using her emotions to manipulate me into feeling sorry for her. She doesn't honestly have to work that hard at it because I feel awful for her, but she has to know that even when she feels upset she still has to follow instructions and push through. So I'm gentle as I continue coaxing. "Please read to me. I know you're frustrated but it's important."

"I want Daddy," she whines just as I hear the front door open and shut. Helen and Burt are in the kitchen preparing dinner, so I know it's not them, and the no vacancy sign has been hanging out front this whole time. It has to be Fletcher.

On one hand it is a good thing if he is home and able to spend the night with his daughter. She needs it. On the other, I'm frustrated that I finally got her to at least communicate with me and sit still for five minutes and then he just walked in. It's selfish of me to feel that way, I know, but I'm the one who has dealt with all of her fits and bad behavior and he will rush in here and play the hero.

"Alright, kiddo... Take a break." I close the book and look up in time to see Fletcher walk through the doorway. Ava leaps to her feet in a squeal of delight and nearly tackles him.

"Hey, pumpkin, how is your school going?" He picks her up and hugs her tightly. His biceps are almost as wide as her tiny waist. She seems so tiny compared to him. I pull my eyes away from the intimate moment as he kisses her and asks softly about her day. I've been scolded enough the past two weeks for interfering in his personal relationship with her and he's told me enough how wrong I am.

I stand and gather the books. Tomorrow I will start with the studies instead of play time and see if I fare better. With only a week left and Fletcher showing zero signs of interest in her daily routine anymore, I feel like it's hopeless to think I will change anything. I just need to buckle down and get through this week that we have left and when I get home I'll go back to subbing and looking for a full-time teaching position.

"You can probably just enjoy your evening, Grace. I'm going to hang out with Ava tonight."

I set the stack of books on the bookshelf and cross my arms over my chest as I turn to see Fletcher doting on her. It's strange to me how he can go from distant and grumpy to overly engaged and loving. His act doesn't' really fool me, but I'm glad for Ava's sake that he's here now.

"Thanks... I think I'll just hang out around here." I shrug a shoulder and touch Ava's back lightly as I walk past them and out the door. I hope they have a great evening together, but I need space. I'm moody and I just want to go home. The money will make it all worth it for sure, but I'm nursing a wounded ego now that wasn't wounded when I left Chicago.

I head to the kitchen to find that Burt isn't here. It's just Helen who stands at the table rolling dough with a rolling pin. Flour dusts her hands and the front of her apron, and a smile graces her face as she looks up at me.

"Oh, Miss Grace, where's Ava?" She rolls without watching what she's doing and I envy her. I'm not a cook by any means. Most of my meals are frozen dinners or fast food, though I do try to select healthy options.

"She's with Fletcher. He came home early for a change." I sink onto a barstool that's been pushed up to the table. I assume Burt occupied it before he went wherever he is. I can't help but let the weight of the past few weeks show in my body. My shoulders slump and I plant my elbows on the table. I'm tired and sad. I miss Nick and Mira and I can't wait to go home.

"You know..." Helen is good about offering unsolicited advice. I've gotten an earful every day about how to do things differently with Ava, though she's not bossy or demanding. "Love is sort of like a little seedling. It needs nurtured and handled with care."

I almost start to chuckle because it's too cliché. Fletcher and I are not in love. I may have screwed him a few times but he just isn't my type. He's grumpy and distant and I need a warm attentive man. Besides, we barely knew anything about each other until two weeks ago and now that I know more about him, I don't think I'd ever want to date him.

"Yeah?" I say absentmindedly. It sucks to be alone in my thoughts, so listening to Helen carry on helps me get out of my head.

"Yes. And it needs that nurturing from the nurturing heart in the relationship. You know, a man doesn't' always have that ability."

"Fletcher has zero emotional abilities. He's hollow and grumpy and..." I realize I'm venting and stop myself. Complaining about his negative traits isn't healthy and it's just gossip. It's not like there is ever going to be anything between us. Helen can't fix what doesn't exist.

"A grumpy man just needs some extra patience. It means he's hurting and can't tell you why."

I look up at her and see her eyes sparkle. She really does think she's going to get us together.

"Thanks for your tips, Helen. I'm going for a walk. I'll be back for dinner." I tap the table with my fingernail and stand. She seems content to let me leave without any more free advice, so I walk out the back door and around the side of the house to the front walk that leads me down to the beach. It's cooler now with the sea breeze bringing a cold front in, maybe some rain too. I pull my phone out and call Nick because I need a familiar voice and he hasn't been the most communicative lately.

"Hey, Gracie! How's the beach? You enjoying your time?"

It's so good to hear him I almost tear up. "It's... uh... challenging at times." If anyone will appreciate my frustration it's my brother.

"It's not Fletch is it? He's not--"

"Before you start prying, there is nothing going on. Okay? Fletcher is just a grumpy old man who is very difficult to placate. Ava throws tantrums, and I'm just better suited to high schoolers maybe." I sigh. "I'm ready to come home and just be a teacher."

"You'd tell me if something was going on? Fletch seemed a little too eager to have you join him." Nick is paranoid for no reason.

"It's just a job, Nick." Maybe calling him was a bad idea too. I seem to be having a lot of those lately. "Look, I want to have dinner when I get home, okay? You come over and we'll watch the Bourne series."

Nick chuckles. "I can't wait to have you home too. I'll clear my schedule. I'll see you next week, kid."

He hangs up and I stare at the waves lapping at the shore. Just one more week to get through and then life goes back to normal.

Chapter 11

I've been looking forward to this day all week. My work here in Cape May is finished and I am eager to get some down time with Ava. Grace seems distant, focusing more on my six-year-old than me, but I haven't exactly had time to give her much attention. Neither of them for that matter. This should have been a relaxing three weeks of normal work, but we encountered problem after problem and I got sucked into matters that had nothing to do with me.

But now, I've passed all the work off to another very capable person in the library's expansion team and I am free. The blanket stretched out on the sand isn't exactly comfortable, but Ava doesn't seem to mind. She digs her shovel into the loose powder and fills her bucket, then pours it out over and over. Grace sits with her back to me, reading a book. I'm certain she brough tit along as a distraction so she wouldn't have to speak to me.

"Ava, if you use your bucket to bring water up here, the sand will pack better. It's easier to build a castle that way." My helpfulness seems to go unnoticed by Ava, but Grace scowls at me. I'm not sure why, except that perhaps she thinks I'm being intrusive into her reading. I just want Ava to be successful at her attempts to build a sand castle.

"Daddy, you get the water." Ava tosses a bit of sand over her shoulder and it lands on my leg, clinging to the light layer of perspiration collected on my skin.

"No, Ava. Don't put the sand on the blanket." I'm frustrated, trying to dust the sand off my leg when she deliberately puts another scoop on me, this time my other leg. "Stop." My tone is firm and so are my words, but Ava is being a handful. I know she's acting out because I haven't spent much time with her. In her mind, she's probably testing the boundaries of my affection for her, to make sure I still love her.

I'm not a sand and sun sort of guy. Give me a nice pool, though, and I don't mind jumping in. But this is messy and it irritates my skin. "Ava, I said no. Please stop that." I scowl at her. I don't mean to be angry with her, but she is being rotten.

"Look. You like it!" Ava tosses sand right on my face, getting it into my eyes and my gut reaction is to jump to my feet.

"God..." I touch my eyes, dusting sand off my face, but I feel the tiny grains scratching beneath my eye lids. "Ava, I told you no." I'm not shouting, but it takes all my will power not to. This hurts.

"Ava, that wasn't kind. You got it in Daddy's eyes." Grace's voice is soothing and comforting and I know it's probably what Ava needs, but I'm really angry. I blink my eyes hard and look around, hoping to clear them. If my eyes water, it will wash the and out. "Tell Daddy you're sorry."

"No. I'm not sorry. We're playing." Ava returns to her shovel and pail and I spot the shower station near the boardwalk across the dunes. Without even asking if Grace will watch her I head that direction. I need to rinse my eyes before I scratch the hell out of them by rubbing.

Grace already thinks I'm a grumpy old man who doesn't spend enough time with his daughter. I'm sure this will only convince her she is absolutely correct and I am angry with myself for not handling that better. I have been irritable all week for a number of reasons. As I walk across the uneven surface, practically rolling my ankle with each step, I think about it.

I haven't worked this hard in years. I wanted this trip to be special for me and Ava, and Grace too. I wanted to get to know her and maybe let something spark between us but I never had time. And after one morning of grumpiness before I even had my coffee, she'd made up her mind about me. I never got the chance to show her she was wrong because every second of my day was consumed with work, every day.

The water is cold as it sprays out and I can't simply rinse my eyes, which means I get soaked to the bone just trying to get the sand rinsed off. I didn't bring my towel with me either, and the breeze chills me, so again, I'm grumpy as I walk back toward the towel, now soaked with sand clinging to me even more places. It isn't the day I had planned at all, and it's not really Ava's fault. She tossed the sand, but she's six. She doesn't understand how it can hurt someone's eyes.

I make my way back to the towel, ready to apologize to Grace and just force her to listen to me. I want to have a heart to heart and tell her how I'm not this curmudgeon that she thinks I am. But when I get back she is out in the waves with Ava, splashing and laughing. It's like she knew I was going to talk to her and she's avoiding me. She's been avoiding me. I put the wrong foot forward and it ruined my chance with her.

Sinking onto the now-sandy blanket, I watch her play with Ava. If I learned anything about her on this trip it's that I think she is an amazing creature. Yes, she stood up to me and fought me on everything I thought was good for Ava, but watching her out there playing, I know she made the right choices. It should be me splashing in those waves, but it's her. Because Ava likes her, and trusts her.

Grace is bold and stubborn and hard headed, but she's also beautiful and kind and patient. She knows what she wants and she fights for it. And I like everything about her, even that angry streak that wants to fight me. I find it so alluring I want more, more fights and more butting of heads. More laughter and more sex, and more nights where I carry her to bed when she's had too much to drink.

This trip only proved to me that I want more of her. All of her. If only she'd give me a chance to show her I'm not a monster.

Chapter 12

I settle in for the short flight from New Jersey to Illinois. Mira is set to pick me up and I'm ready to be home. The plane is full. I'm seated next to an older woman who smells like mentholated rub, and it makes me gag. I wish I would have booked my flights with Fletcher and Ava if for no other reason than to have a few more precious minutes with her. As it is, when he brought me to the airport this afternoon Ava clung to me.

Their flight is later tonight so they had a few hours to kill, but he did manage to stop me and ask me about moving in with him. Of all things... He wants a live-in nanny to care for Ava and while I can't think of anything that would help that little girl more than having a solid influence in her life on a daily basis, I don't think I can stand seeing Fletcher every day. Not with how I feel, which is surprisingly not at all how I thought I'd feel.

I stare out at the tarmac as the plane taxis to the runway. It's bittersweet leaving them and not just because of Ava. My brain is about as absurd and stupid as a brain can get. I don't understand why I feel sad that I won't see him again, not until the Labor Day family picnic for the company. He was rude and demanding, and all I did was love his daughter. There is no logical reason why I should feel attracted to him or desirous of a relationship when I know by first-hand experience what type of guy he is.

"Mint?" the older woman asks, holding out a tin of white mints to me. I wave her off and turn back to the window but I remember Helen and the way she pushed me toward Fletcher the whole trip.

She had all this advice about how my love could make his grumpy behavior change. She never directly told me it was about me and Fletcher but I know it was. I just don't think I'm emotionally equipped to deal with it, and part of me wonders if it's just baggage from his failed marriage, which is another large hurdle to cross. He's been through things that I've never experienced, things I couldn't begin to help him with. If his grumpiness really is from being hurt by his ex-wife, I don't know how to help him.

The plane takes off and I find myself dozing. I dream of Ava and her cheery round cheeks, then I dream of Fletcher and his hands on my body. I wake with a start to the wheels touching down and feel embarrassed by how aroused I am from that dream. No one around me seems to notice or care as they disembark the plane and head toward baggage claim.

My heart is still heavy even when I get my suitcase and walk through the terminal to the front and find Mira there waiting. We've barely spoken outside of a few text messages but that's entirely normal at times. We're both busy adults and hardly have time to talk to each other every day. So once my things are loaded into her trunk and we are stuck in traffic on the way home, she does her normal thing and demand to know every detail of my life that she's missed in the past three weeks.

"Dish, girl. I know you have some things to talk about. We've hardly spoken." She keeps her hands glued to the wheel but her eyes flick between me and the road.

"Uh..." I take a deep breath. She's my best friend. I can't lie to her or hide things. She'll find out anyway and besides, who else can I talk to? Nick will only lecture me. So I shoot from the hip. "I'm not a virgin anymore?" I feel the blush creeping onto my cheeks and wait for her response, which is a very loud squeal followed by clapping hands.

"Holy fucking cow." Mira is absolutely giddy. "Tell me everything. Was it good? Is he absolutely incredible? Are you in love?"

The car rolls forward slowly and I shrug and stare out the window a second before answering. She'll have a zillion questions anyway, so I just lay it out for her. "The sex was incredible, yes, but I'm not sure what else I can say other than that. I walked in with my bags and we had this awkward moment with my suitcase and--"

"Oh my god, you fucked him the first night? What happened to being the reserved girl that didn't throw herself at people?" I can hear the smile on her face that she speaks through and I don't even have to look at her.

"That's not really how it happened, okay?" I can't help but smile at how it actually happened. I didn't have to throw myself at him. He wanted me bad. "He initiated--sort of--and I just went along with it."

"Who made the first move?"

I bite my lip knowing it was me who made the first move. I even asked if I could kiss him. In my defense, he was so close to me. He smelled so good, and he clearly wanted it.

"Well? Dish!" Mira's insistence tied my stomach in knots.

"I... uh, I kind of kissed him." I gulped. "But I swear I wasn't initiating sex. I was just kissing him because he was so close to me and then one thing led to another and--"

"And he popped your cherry... I get it." Her chuckles make me sigh in relief. "I can't believe it. I knew you were hot for each other. So what? He's like a jillionaire. Why didn't he pay for your flight to get rearranged so you guys could fly together?"

Traffic is starting to move a bit and she has to focus on the road more, which gives me a moment to think about how to answer her. I'm not against admitting that having sex with him was a mistake, but in my heart I don't think it was. I have these stupid feelings for him and I have no way of explaining to her why.

"I don't think it's going to work out. So that's okay."

"What do you mean? He was using you?"

"Heavens, no." I don't think Fletcher is that big of an ass, at least I hope he's not. "No, he's just ... Well, he's grumpy and sort of overly anal about things. I don't know. I don't care for it."

"Hmm, so he's a jerk. It's okay." She hums for a second. "Why don't we just go clubbing and get your mind off it? Hook up with some real hotties or something."

It sounds like a very me thing to do, but I'm not into it. "That's okay. I'm sort of tired and I think I want to go home and rest. But I appreciate the suggestion."

Mira isn't at all upset about the rejection but she does linger around my place for a while before heading home. I'm tired, but it's good to be back. I take my time unpacking, putting all my things away. Helen made sure our clothes were all laundered, so the only thing I have to toss in the laundry hamper is my outfit from yesterday and the pajamas I slept in. She is such a nice woman and I hope karma is very nice to her.

I make myself a bowl of cereal and plop on my couch to watch a show and my phone rings. It's Nick, probably calling to set a date for our dinner and a movie. As a kid I never thought I'd be so close to him. He's older by six years and he was a bit of a bully at times. But here in Chicago he's all I have and I missed him the whole time I was gone. I set my bowl aside and answer the phone, hoping he doesn't pry about Fletcher again.