Everything with Godwin felt like a dream. By the time she left work she had almost convinced herself that it had been a dream, at least the more... unusual parts of it. Godwin was an incubus? Preposterous.
She laughed, suddenly sure that preposterous was exactly the word Godwin would have chosen.
Instead of going home, she killed time in a coffee shop close to Chip's flat. He lived fifteen minutes from her work, and in the complete opposite direction of her apartment. That was fine by her, she didn't want him to know where she lived, and he'd never asked.
She almost went to her bench in the park but... Even though it seemed like a dream, she wasn't ready to see Godwin. She really, really wanted to see him, but she couldn't. Not yet. If she saw him again, her resolve would be strongly tested. Though they hadn't made plans to meet again, he said he'd be joining her with Chip tonight. Again, preposterous.
Thinking about Godwin had her core tingling again. She sipped her coffee, closing her eyes as the vanilla creamer vaguely reminded her of the taste of his mouth. Of his rich, thick blood. It had to have been a dream, him eating her emotions, but she still felt the lingering effects. She hadn't felt this light, this good about herself and life in general in ages.
She shook her head, guilt building up. It had a whole lot of room to fill inside of her. She couldn't get Godwin out of her mind, but she needed to. She had Chip. The thought had her choking on her coffee again. Married! He probably wanted kids and dogs and, oh god, she couldn't marry Chip Gibson. She'd never be able to give him kids, anyway, he wasn't a Wren. And she would never tell him what she really was.
She had to get out of this, let him down softly. She could already imagine his kicked puppy look, those big, dumb eyes wide with grief. Guilt bloomed inside her like a corpse flower.
She felt normal now, full of guilt and self doubt and a tinge of self hatred. This was who she was and she hated it, her comfortable uncomfortable prison.
She checked her phone and saw that she missed two texts from Chip letting her know he was home and he already had a movie picked out, and did she want pizza or Chinese delivery.
Sighing, she cleaned up her spot, shooting a quick message back to Chip. She didn't care what they ordered, what they ate. She didn't want to go at all. Why had she let Godwin talk her into this? He was very convincing.
She frowned as she stepped outside, her mood souring further. Rain poured down, even though it had been sunny, hot and humid when she had come in twenty minutes prior. She sighed as she stepped out under the awning, the sound of the heavy rain drowning out the sound of the door to the coffee shop swinging shut behind her.
The rain was loud, but also soothing. It allowed her to linger, to delay her visit to Chip's. Her last, she told herself. She had to break it off with him. Even if he cried. Oh god, she hoped he didn't cry. What would she do if he cried? Her stomach hurt.
A weird sensation drew her from her thoughts. Somehow she could feel Godwin, could feel a pleasant tingle on the back of her neck. She looked around. She didn't see the alleged incubus through the downpour, but she could feel him.
Despite what she told herself, her heart rate rise and the butterflies took flight in her stomach. She wanted to hate that she was eager to see him again, but couldn't. Closing her eyes, she focused on the tingling sensation, seeing if she could feel direction or proximity.
The tingling changed into something else the second she focused on it. She could feel his fingers on her neck, gently resting on the top of her spine. She jerked her eyes open and the feeling diminished back to just the tingly sensations. He wasn't here, wasn't touching her, but it felt like he had been. It had felt real.
She closed her eyes again and reached for him, embracing the sensation. His fingers were there again. She could feel the heat from them, a gentle yet firm pressure on the back of her neck. She focused on keeping her eyes closed, trying to understand Godwin's mysterious touch. His ghostly fingers trailed over the bumps of her spine and slowly pulled down her back as if they were under her clothes. Slowly they drifted lower, between her shoulder blades, down the middle of her back, to just above her butt.
Her eyes flew open, her face instantly hot. He was actually next to her now, driving her heart into her throat. His heat and smell had her turning towards him like a sunflower.
Godwin leaned against the building only a few feet from her, dripping wet despite the unopened umbrella he used like a cane. His soggy suit was a deep navy today, so dark it was almost black, pinstriped with robin egg blue stripes. Not even the best male model could pull off how well it clung to his body. His trilby matched today, too, water dripping from the edges. He pulled out a robin's egg blue scarf from his jacket pocket and wiped the rain from his hands.
"Look what the cat dragged in," she said, trying to hide her embarrassment.
"Cat?" he asked her, cocking his head in confusion. "I do not understand."
"You don't... huh?" She wrinkled her forehead. "It's an expression. You say it when, well, when someone looks like they have had a rough time of things, I guess. You know, they look like something the cat caught."
A look of understanding crossed his face and he chuckled. "Indeed. The sky opened whilst I was under it." He moved slowly, favoring his left leg, then ran his hands over his body, starting from his neck down to his shiny leather shoes. She watched curiously. He ran a hand slowly down each of his arms, took his hat off, shook it twice with a quick shake of his wrist, the hand without the scars, then placed it back on his head just so. "There," he said, tipping his hat to her, "all better." He was completely dry, though the suit now had white stripes instead of blue ones.
"How!" She looked into those silver eyes and knew that he was what he said he was, despite her earlier doubts.
"A little Daeva trick, that is all. I brought you an umbrella," he said, changing the subject. He offered it to her and she took it hesitantly.
"Why didn't you use the umbrella?" she asked, inspecting it. It seemed to be a normal umbrella. Now that he was dry, his vanilla smell was stronger, with undertones of something else, something that smelled like... He smelled like sex. She blushed.
He stepped behind her, his vanilla and sex scent surrounding her. She took a deep breath without thinking, and it went straight to her head, and her sex. The tingling in her core began again and she shifted uncomfortably, trying to push it into the imaginary box in which she kept her unwanted emotions.
"Stop, hansa," he whispered in her ear. "Do not hide your emotions from me. I want them all, all of your reactions. You are beautiful, and your emotions are vivid and dynamic. Delicious." His finger hooked under her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes.
"But!"
Godwin's face was a mixture of emotion she couldn't read. "You have reverted, refilled what I consumed last night. This will take training and time." He sighed and her heart fell. "No, no, little hansa, do not be discouraged. You felt me today, stronger, yes?"
