"So the Great Man is dead," I said, looking into the flames of the log fire.
Charles drew on his cigar and then blew out a stream of smoke.
I was spending a few days with my friend and colleague Charles, and as we sat in his comfortable lounge outside the wind was whistling and howling round the house, somehow making it a time for raking up old memories.
Just as I thought Charles was going to let the subject pass he said, "Yes, ninety six, the old devil, who'd have thought it."
"You know Charles, despite the fact that he was considered one of the great minds of our time, there seems to be very little known about him apart from his actual work."
"True, old boy, true."
One of the logs crackled and vomited a hot ember onto the hearth. I watched it glow for a while, then gradually cool and turn black.
There was something I wanted to ask Charles, something he had never spoken about to me, and although it was only a rumour, someone must have known something.
I cleared my throat and asked carefully, "I've heard it said that you once lived with him."
Charles grinned and then laughed out loud. "So you've heard the rumour?"
"Yes, is it true?"
He looked at me with a glint of humour in his eyes, drew on his cigar again and said, "Yes, it's true."
"Then you must know something about his private life."
"Mmm, yes, I know something about his private life."
"Well come on, tell, what's the mystery?"
He thought for a moment and then said, "I suppose it doesn't matter now the old boy's dead and the rest of the family with him – all except one of the daughters of course.
"Is it so bad?"
"Depends on your point of view John."
"Come on Charles, stop playing hard to get; tell all; how did you come to live with him?"
"Oh that; that's the easy bit; it was back in the fifties and I'd just finished my degree and the old boy was looking for a sort of tutor assistant. My professor mentioned my name to him and before I knew it I was on my way to the old boy's university."
"Come Charles, it couldn't have been as easy as that."
"But it was I swear it. I didn't even have an interview."
"So how did you come to live with him?"
"Ah," he paused for a moment, blew on the end of his cigar and stared at its glowing tip. "Now this is the God's honest truth, John. When I received the letter to say I'd got the appointment it had tacked onto the end that I could live at Doctor Menis' house until I found a place of my own."
"That was very decent of him."
"Was it...yes, I suppose it was, but probably not in the way he intended it to be decent."
"I don't understand."
"No, I don't suppose you do."
"Are you being deliberately obscure, Charles?"
"No of course not, but I've never told the story before so I'm trying to assemble my thoughts."
"All right, I'll wait until you've got them tacked together," I said a trifle acidly.
Another pause while Charles drew on his cigar, and then; "Okay, here it is."
"Back in the fifties I suppose I was a pretty innocent guy; a lot of us were in those days before the sexual revolution and all that. I'd come from a parsonage and my father and mother always seemed to be trying to outdo each other on the subject of fire and brimstone. If you did something you enjoyed it was evil, sinful, foul or reeked of carnality. I can remember my father once preaching on the evils of women's silk underwear."
"At university I still couldn't shake off the image of the eternal fires awaiting anyone who stepped over the line drawn by my mother and father. I buried myself in study and football – I was quite a powerful young guy in those days."
I could well believe it because even now in his seventies Charles is still an impressive figure of a man.
"When I got the offer to live temporarily in the Menis' house I wrote to my parents, virtually asking for permission to take up the offer. They were over the moon about it, living in the Great Man's house and all that, so off I went."
"And?"
He guffawed, "Yes, 'and.' And when I finally found the place it turned out to be a big old house that looked as if it hadn't had a coat of paint since Queen Victoria was going through puberty. The garden was a mess, full of weeds and rubbish."
"I went to the front door and tugged on one of those old fashioned bell pulls. About a minute and the door was opened by a smart looking woman who seemed to be in her fifties."
"Well I knew the old boy was in his fifties then, so I took her to be Mrs. Menis so I enquired, 'Mrs. Menis?'"
"'No, I'm Bella.' As I was to learn, if she'd ever had another name nobody remembered it, and she turned out to be a sort house keeper/cook and general dogsbody. How that place would have survived without her I don't know."
"Anyway, she asked rather haughtily, 'What do you want?' So I said I'd come to work in Doctor Menis' department at the university and that I'd been invited to stay in his house for a while."
"Name?"
" 'Er, Charles Stuart.' Then I added my usually corny joke, 'No relation to the...'"
"'No one's said anything to me,' she cut in before I got to the punch line."
"Oh. I...er..."
"I'll go and enquire."
"She left me standing there while she toddled off. When she came back she said, 'They don't know anything about you, but they say you'd better come in.'"
"She led me to a door down the bottom end of the hallway and opening it she said, 'Here he is,' and then she almost shoved me into the room."
Two pairs of female eyes swivelled round to focus on me. It was a huge room, and one of the weirdest I'd ever seen. It was a clutter of books, papers, what looked like dress making equipment, and banks of filing cabinets – no computers in those days old chap – and a large desk behind which sat a pale wizen looking old man.
"The two pairs of female eyes had bodies attached to them, and I have to admit what I would never have told my parents; that those female bodies and their adjacent faces were fair to gaze upon."
Nobody said anything so I finally stuttered, "Er...I'm C-C-Charles S-Stuart."
Still nobody said anything and the ancient of days behind the desk didn't look up from a document he seemed to be reading."
"This hiatus in social communication seemed to go on for ages, but then someone came into the room behind me."
"'Oh Mr. Stuart, I'm so sorry I wasn't here to greet you; I'm Mrs. Menis. Welcome to our home. Darling, this is Mr. Charles Stuart.'"
I decided not risk the joke but one of the girls who looked to be about eighteen or nineteen giggled and asked, "Any relation to Bonnie Prince Charlie?"
"I smiled, I think a trifle sickly, and shook my head."
"The two girls laughed and I felt like crawling away and hiding."
I was now able to survey Mrs. Menis and what I saw nearly bowled me over. You see, knowing that Doctor Menis was in his fifties I hadn't connected him with the wizen guy behind the desk; he looked as if he was in his seventies pushing eighty."
"Since Mrs. Menis had introduced herself and called the ancient of days 'Darling,' I had to accept that he was indeed Doctor Menis. But that was one of the most anomalous things about the situation, because Mrs. Menis was an idealised version of a Wagnerian soprano."
"She was so beautiful that given a good singing voice any opera producer would have killed to get her. She put what turned out to be their two daughters in the shade; for all that they were attractive girls."
Mrs. Menis was a golden haired goddess; tall, with a splendid figure and the face of Athena. Most noticeable were her magnificent breasts, and it was these that gave me a problem, because I knew if I looked at them too long I would have what my father called, 'Lascivious thoughts,' a sin so foul that it arose from the slime of the deepest pit."
"You know John; I sometimes wonder how my parents ever managed to produce me."
"Virgin birth?" I conjectured idly.
He ignored my quip and rose to put another log on the fire and then poured us a couple of liberal fingers of Scotch.
He sat silent for so long I thought he'd said all he intended to say, but suddenly he said, "She was a goddess, you know, my goddess, the Earth Mother, the fecundity of Spring and the warmth of Summer."
"Which one?"
"Mrs. Menis of course, if you can't listen to me properly I won't tell you any more," he said petulantly.
"I'm all ears," I said, "You fell for her?"
He sighed, "Yes, from the first moment I saw her, but it was a pure love, unsullied by lust and the desires of the flesh. She was beyond such things – pure spirit."
I doubted that his admiration for Mrs. Menis was quite so spiritual, but I asked, "So what happened?"
"Well, she introduced me to her daughters, Barbara and Rachel - Rachel was the young one who was around sixteen - and then to the old boy. Do you know, he'd forgotten all about me. Mrs. Menis had to find the correspondence we'd exchanged before he understood who I was."