Jess and I had gotten in a habit of meeting up at my place after our last classes for a day, meaning I generally got there before her most days. This day was one of those days, so I got back to my place before her. We weren't big on texting each other, so we hadn't had any communication during the day.
Jess came in as she usually would and threw her bag on my floor. She came up behind me as I had my back to the door while sitting at my desk.
She wrapped her arms around me in a hug from behind me.
I turned around as she released me and gave her my best pissed look I could muster.
"What the fuck, Jess?"
"What?"
"You fucked Mark last night. Loudly. The whole house heard it," I was exaggerating a bit.
"So?" she replied frankly, "I thought you wanted me to fuck him? Is that a problem?"
"Dammit, Jess, are you just going to fuck whomever you want to, consequences be damned?"
She stared at me, not comprehending. Finally, she replied, "Yes. That is exactly what I'm doing. I thought you understood that?"
I had kind of been winding her up to begin with, but something triggered in me when she said that. For all the assumptions of her rationale that I had come to after talking with Mark, the core of why I felt betrayed by her sleeping with him came to the forefront with her statement.
"You really don't care if it bothers me, does it?"
She was incredulous.
"Darren I've pretty much been upfront with you from day one of who I am. I like to fuck guys. Sometimes even girls. I get off on the variety. I get off not giving a fuck if people think I'm a slut for doing so. I mean, I fucked half a fraternity before we met and you've continued to date me since finding out. If it's not clear, I will fuck whomever I want and you don't get a say in who I fuck. How is that not clear?"
Fuck. She was right. She will fuck whomever she wants. Hearing it said like that was... shocking. I started out just wanting to razz her a little for putting on such a demonstrative show in my own house, but damn. We were now talking the real talk.
"You're right. I have no say in who you fuck," I spat out, a bit harder than I intended.
"Babe, I told you I had trouble keeping boyfriends before. Hell, I have trouble keeping friends with girls because of who I am. I thought in finding you I finally found the missing piece. The person who I could count on and would love me for who I am and not want to change me."
"Fuck. Yes, of course I want to be that. But this is hard. I'm hearing half the college knows or at least thinks you're fucking Jacen."
"I AM fucking Jacen."
"Yeah but, if I'm with you, they know I'm a cuck."
"You ARE a cuck, Darren. How is this news to you?"
"Yeah, but like, what I'm into behind closed doors is different than everyone KNOWING."
"Fuck, Darren," she started, exasperated, "look me in the eyes and tell me everyone knowing wouldn't be exactly what you want."
That stopped me cold. Every bit of the color drained from my face. All the fight went out of me. Goddamnit if she hadn't just absolutely nailed me.
And then, absolutely at the worst possible moment, my bedroom door flew open and my planned prank blew up in my face.
Mark came in with a swagger, "Awesome you're here Jess. Ready to pick up where we left off last night?"
Jess look at him puzzled and then looked at me. She looked down and my jeans were completely tented. A shit eating grin crossed her face.
"Yes, Mark I do. Come take me on Darren's bed."
Mark gave me a glance. I think we both believed that she would have given some token resistance or something. Instead, it was like it was her idea and she was going to push it in my face. It was probably silly of me to not have considered that- during their show for me the night before, she had told him to come take her in my room. Guess it wasn't all an act by Jess.
She had a huge smile on her face as she looked back at me while she was undoing Mark's jeans. His cock wasn't hard but even still it was really big. It's hard to have a good comparison to Jacen's. It wasn't quite as large nor quite as... threatening. It was very similar to mine, white and circumcised, just bigger in proportion.
She looked Mark in the eyes as she knelt before him.
"I didn't see it very well in the dark last night. You have a beautiful cock, Mark. I love it."
She rubbed the soft but hardening cock across her face. It was nearly as big as her face. When her chin was at its base, the head just about hit her hairline. Even I had to admit, it was a good looking cock.
She proceeded to slather it with her tongue and with kisses. Finally, after a teasing lick around his glans, she made her mouth into an "O" and took it in. She had him hard now and with her first attempt, she got a good two-thirds of the way down his cock before she began to gag.
Seeing her up close and well-lit as she serviced his bigger dick was thrilling for me. Others who write about the hotwife/cuckolding lifestyle talk about how watching your wife or girlfriend have sex with another man before you is like watching your favorite porn actress perform live in front of you, and that really felt like the case here. But the other thing we all can acknowledge is it's not just watching your significant other performing sex acts in front of you that is arousing. It's the fact that they are not doing it with you and, in many if not most cases, are doing it with someone who you or your love at least perceive as a better lover than you. Better hung. More able to turn them on. Make them cum better or more often.
That feeling of inadequacy, of being seen as 'less than', to your wife or girlfriend in comparison to the person, the man, who is producing better results than you can and who therefore takes precedence in her desire. Replacing you. As a cuck, having that comparison so visually before you, the contrast being so strongly displayed is humiliating. But the power from being someone willing to take that humiliation on because of what it gives to your partner, your love, is there as well. I can't think of any more obvious example that you put your woman's needs above your own in this moment.
And Jess loved it. She loved cocks, loved a variety, loved the freedom. She adored the power she had over a man by holding his erection and pleasuring him through it. She loved how the bigger cock made her feel. However it was becoming increasingly more evident that the humiliation I was suffering when witnessing her with another, more satisfying lover drove her just as much as the sex she was experiencing with them. I that was starting to feel like a scab that she was picking at.
I didn't consider myself a masochist, but it was hard to figure out where the arousal from the open humiliation ended and the hurt began. Reality was coming to me that if I continued with her, this would likely be our way of life, the defining nature of our relationship. And, although I liked Mark and saw that she potentially had good intentions by bring him into this game of ours, because it was someone I knew outside of her and was occurring in the place where I loved, it again felt destabilizing.
She shook me from my introspection as she had finished up giving him head. She stood up before him and, from over her shoulder, told me, "Darren, undress me for Mark. Show him that you willingly give my sex to him."
There it was. That sting of humiliation. I loved it and hated it. I didn't really want to 'give her sex to him'. I wanted her sex. We made love a few times after the Lindsay incident, but it had been a week or more since we'd had sex and I again was starting to feel like she was denying me again.
But, nevertheless, I found myself undressing her as commanded. I couldn't deny that for as much as I wanted to make love to her, I did want to see her with Mark again. I wanted to see her with Mark more than I wanted to be with her myself. This pissed me off, but I found myself more angry at me than with her.
I lifted her shirt, a soft cotton long sleeve that might even have been the one she was wearing when we met. I undid her bra from behind, dropping it onto the floor, on top of where her shirt landed.
Mark was staring at her as I was undressing her. I got the impression he was trying not to look at me, attempting to shield me from the humiliation he assumed correctly that I was feeling. His attempt to protect my feelings actually made it worst. His caring and empathy made it all sting worse. He removed his shirt at this point, I think he unconsciously needed a reason to look away from me for a moment.
Jess was breathing heavy, getting a lot of arousal from the situation of being exposed to him and, likely, from her humiliation of me. She had one guy drooling over her while another one, her nominal 'boyfriend', was the one stripping her for the other to have.
I pulled her pants down, yoga pants as was her usual and another trigger for me that this might have been the actual outfit she was wearing when we met. Not sure why that was significant or if it even was. All she was left in were her panties, a tiny pale pink lacy thong. I slipped my thumbs under the thin strips of material on both of her hips. Feeling the material and her hips against the back of my thumbs was very tactile. What I felt in my gut as I was doing this, unwrapping the final layer between my girlfriend's sex and her lover, was tumultuous.
With her small ass before me, I was thought about just how small she seemed. It was literally in my face. Mark was much taller and broader than I was. His member much larger than mine. The contrast of his larger attributes compared to her small stature and build made her look almost child-like before him. Her girl-next-door looks and small frame gave the appearance of innocence when standing before this muscular man with his throbbing tool. Taking all this in as I continued to pull down her thong sent a shiver down my spine.
"Darren, babe, feel my pussy while you're down there."
I did as I was told. As my finger penetrated her folds, her precum dripped out readily. She was soaking wet.
"Do you feel it? Can you feel how wet his cock had made me? My pussy knows it needs more lubrication for me to take his cock."
I swallowed hard as I accepted her truth.
She stepped forward and my finger came out of her pussy.
"Fuck me with your big thing, Mark. Show Darren how good a lover you are."
Mark, clearly turned on by her dirty talk, quickly forgot any concern for me. He wanted my hot girlfriend. He wanted to fuck her in front of me. He picked her up, large hands engulfing each of her ass cheeks as he pulled her to him. He kissed her as he carried her over towards my bed, his cock sticking obscenely from between her legs. The distance from which it surpassed her buttocks emphasized just how much more it would go deeper than I ever could.
