I woke up in my bed and felt the warm empty space beside me. I remembered being with Jess and I looked around to find her. She wasn't in the room but I saw her shoes, so I assumed that she had gone to the bathroom. I picked up my phone to see what time it was- 2:34am. I noticed I had missed a call earlier in the evening. It was from Jim and he'd left a voicemail, which felt unusual. I checked out the voicemail transcription.
Jim: "Hey Darren it's Jim. Listen I hope I'm not distracting you from having a good time, but Sarah insisted I call you to give you a heads up. She says that she knows of Jessica from other girls in the education department. They say no one wants to be her friend because she has frequently slept with other girl's boyfriends. Just, I don't know, giving you a warning I guess. She's very pretty and seemed really nice. It looked like she was really into you, so who knows. Maybe it's just rumors. Maybe things will be different with you and her. See ya round, man."
I was confused. Is this what she meant by being trouble? What would I care that she had a past with other guys? Maybe I was less experienced than her, but why would I judge her for that? I deleted the voicemail.
It was then that I realized that I had no real concept of how long she had been gone. There were potentially up to seven other guys in this house. Is Sarah suggesting that she's some sort of nymphomaniac and I should be worried?
"I'll probably break your heart," she told me the first night we were together.
I got up and pulled on my underwear and opened my bedroom door. I walked down the hall to the bathroom, noticing that the light were on from the crack under the door. Suddenly, the door opened and I was face to face with her. She was wearing one of my shirts and while she obviously a little startled at seeing me right there, she instantly got a smile on her face upon recognizing me.
"Well, hello there. I hope I didn't wake you."
I felt a blush wash over my face. Was I embarrassed about being caught? Did I think she could see my thoughts? I was stuck between being so excited about having the opportunity to be with her and the fear that either I'd blow it or whatever this thing is with her.
I shook it off and pulled her to me, kissing her passionately.
"Oh Darren, what was that for?" she asked as we parted.
"Just happy to see you. You wear that well," I smiled at her in my shirt. It was a Bowie t-shirt with Bowie as Ziggy Stardust.
"Oh, really? Your roommate -- what was his name, Mark? -- thought so too," she said looking down at the shirt.
What?
"Ummm, you saw Mark?"
"Yeah. He was coming out of the bathroom as I was heading to use it. No big deal. I figured I might run into someone in the hall even though it was late. He said that 'suddenly he was a big Bowie fan too'," she said, grinning at the joke.
I felt tense but worried she'd sense it so I willed myself to chill out. It was just a meet up in the hall, nothing more. Yet something else happened. Something I wasn't expecting. I felt myself getting really hard. The idea that my roommate Mark, who was certainly more buff and had much more success with girls than I did, saw my girl in the hallway late at night in nothing but my t-shirt aroused me. More than that. I wished I had witnessed it. Maybe it was the stuff Jim told me from Sarah. Maybe it was my own feelings of inadequacy to be able to hang with such an amazing girl. Maybe it was pride that she was with me and not Mark or someone like him. I don't know what it was, but I suddenly realized she was aware of my condition as well.
"Oh my. Is that for me?"
I swallowed hard.