Mia nearly snorted her milk through her nose at the punchline of Toby's joke, causing renewed laughter from the rest of us. Toby, Laura, Liv, Mallory, Mia, and I were all hanging out in the solarium of the dining hall, enjoying a bit of after lunch sun. Outside it was a crisp winter day, but the cloudless sky helped alleviate the winter blues a bit.
Liv was sitting there with her elbows on the table, looking unnaturally distracted.
Toby asked, "Hey Liv, are you okay?"
"Sorry, my mind is just elsewhere. This afternoon they are going to announce the assignments for the Senior Showcase, and I am feeling all the emotions. I'm excited for the possibilities, dreading rejection, wanting a good role, and fearing I'll not be considered good enough."
"So tell us about it," I said. "Walk us through it."
Liv grinned, "Tara, you know when a performer gets personal and dramatic in front of a crowd like this, usually we charge admission."
Everyone laughed when Mia jumped in, "Usually when a crowd like this gathers, we know it is a show worth attending. Until then, just spill it."
Liv laughed as well before setting into her tale. "Okay, every spring the performing arts department have a couple of showcase shows designed to give the Senior students chances to present capstone projects to their career here at Roxbury. There is a big involved process between the Seniors and their advisors, matching the various Senior directors, technical specialists, and performers into leadership teams that will best allow their abilities to shine. Usually there is a director, a production designer, and a feature performer or two, depending on the project. Then, to fill out the cast and crew, the underclassmen go through an interview process before being drafted by each project lead."
"God, what a convoluted process," Mia said.
"It is," Liv said, "but it is a practical lesson in theatrical life. It is designed that way to teach the production leaders how to get the resources and talent you need to put on a production. The rest of us learn how to sell yourself as the talent needed to be in the productions you want to be a part of.
"Over the last week I have participated in four or five of these interviews. There was a variety of projects I put in for. The most likely scenario given I'm a freshman with musical theater skills is a group doing selections from 'You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.' Don't get me wrong, it is an okay show, and being Lucy or Pattie there would be better than being the maid in the murder drama I also put in for as a safety. At least I would be singing and dancing. But it is a community theatre repertory piece. It is small, safe, and not particularly challenging. I heard it was only getting done because the Production Designer is a huge Snoopy fan, and has developed the plans for a set piece that could be patentable if it actually works.
"But there is one production that absolutely everyone wants to join. Two of the legends of Roxbury theatre, director Cory Brockman and actor Elijah Malloch are joining forces to do a lavish production of 'Selections from The Greatest Showman.' I mean, these two are capital G Good. It will not surprise me in the least if both of them one day bear the title 'Tony award winner.' If half the rumors I am hearing are true, it is going to be an incredible production. Cory and Elijah are pulling in all the best people they have worked with over the years to do an all-out, over the top show. They're already calling the people expected to be on the crew the A-Team."
I said, "The movie was big on spectacle, making Barnum's circus so evocative and stylized. That is a huge challenge if the A-Team is attempting to keep up."
Liv nodded. "All signs point to them making an epic production. Yesterday, I got the chance to interview with them. I was so excited. I'm not expecting to actually get a part, but it is one of those networking opportunities where maybe someday in the future, it might lead to something. But I think I ruined my chance. They asked the question, 'Now as a sightless performer, what do you think of the song 'This Is Me'?' I replied, 'It is a really boss song. It fulfills its purpose in the movie perfectly. But for me personally, it is the song I relate to the least in the entire movie. Philosophically, I relate much more to 'A Million Dreams,' or 'Rewrite the Stars.' 'This is Me' only makes sense if you feel bad about the hand life has dealt you. And though I experience the world different through being blind, it is different, not something lesser. I am as good a performer as anyone here. My standing goal when I join a production is on opening night, the audience never notices my blindness.
"The interview wrapped up fairly quick from that point." Liv said. "I may have been overly honest, but I was true to myself. I had a sneaking suspicion that there was some well-meaning stunt casting in the works. You know, have the blind girl sing the 'You should accept the different people' theme song 'This is Me.' But you all know me well enough to know that ISN'T me. I don't want to be Liv the Blind Performer. I want to be Liv the Performer, who happens to be blind, blind being as unimportant or as disadvantageous as being left-handed."
Laura asked, "What is stunt casting?"
Mallory answered, "It is a practice of giving a role to someone for reasons outside of their abilities, usually to make a joke or commentary in a meta, extra-textual way. It is usually a small part, because typically they can't handle a main role. For example, let's say you are doing a Sherlock Holmes production. You could cast the local chief of police as the gentleman who hires Holmes to solve the mystery. In Liv's case, they would be hiring her because she is blind, the closest the department has to a true circus freak show performer like the bearded lady who sings 'This is Me' in the movie. It is just cheap virtue signaling for people to show how enlightened they are, and I, for one, am glad Liv isn't enabling them."
"It would be awesome if there was a way to join that cast without being the bearded lady," said Liv, "but 'This is Me' is such a breakout hit you almost have to do it. And choosing to stand against playing the only certain female role in the production, I don't have much of a chance of finding my way in."
Mia said to Liv, "Let's make a deal. I am going to offer to give you a prime role in The Greatest Showman, with all the fame and perks. There is a cost, however. You have to play the bearded lady, you have to sing 'This is Me,' and everyone is going to make a huge deal about your blindness. Otherwise, you are playing your safety part, the maid. Do you take the deal?"
Liv thought a moment, then said, "I have to say no. As much as I want to be part of that cast, that situation would be a millstone around my neck careerwise. I would be inviting people to cast me as a professional stunt-cast performer forever more. My dreams are more than a single performance, even if it is memorable."
"So even if it is the maid, will you be okay?" I challenged.
"If my career were never to launch, I would probably look back to question whether or not one moment of sold-out glory would have been better than nothing at all, but yeah, I'll be okay. As my dreams come closer to actually happening, I am optimistic I will get to experience at least some of them. Better to wait a bit to get the right opportunity."
"You know we will be there regardless, right, Liv?" Toby chimed in. "Whether it is a maid, Peppermint Patty, a bearded lady, or whatever it is that you end up doing, including if you are just taking tickets in the box office. We will be there with you."
"Thanks guys. That means a lot. Really," Liv said gratefully. "The difference between being on Broadway and being a dramatics teacher in the middle of a corn field somewhere is so miniscule. Knowing that there are people unconditionally on your side allows you to take the chances needed to fly."
Mia looked at her watch. "Speaking of flying, it's time for me to fly to my O-Chem lab. Don't worry, Liv. The right part will be there for you."
Most of my friends had classes in their majors to head off to, but Mallory, Laura, and I had a free period. We had fallen in the habit of studying together while the rest of the crew was away.
