Chapter 35 - Tiffany's third punishment
As the summer progressed, Cecilia realized that she was destined to become much closer to Tiffany Walker and Cynthia Lee than to Kimberly. The reason was the lives of Tiffany and Cynthia were similar to Cecilia’s life, while Kim’s life was very different. Tiffany and Cynthia were single and continued to be very American in their outlooks, while Kim was much more Danubian in her thinking, only a year away from becoming sworn in as a public official, and nearly two years into her marriage with Sergekt Dolkiv. When Cecilia got together with other women, she was with Tiffany and Cynthia much more than she was with Kim.
During July Cecilia witnessed an event in Tiffany’s life that made her understand her fellow American much better. In the end, the incident also would help her to understand some details about Danubian culture and thinking. On July 12, Tiffany was scheduled to receive her annual switching. The punishment was to be a full 50 strokes, delivered with severity.
What astonished Cecilia was Tiffany’s resignation to her punishment and the way she casually discussed it. It turned out that Tiffany had absolutely no resentment about enduring such a cruel ordeal, nor any indication she was really afraid. Instead she was quite stoic. Her attitude was that the annual punishment was a necessary part of her life, something that she deserved and had to deal with. The switchings were an important part of the sentence Apprentice Lee-Dolkivna had negotiated with the Prosecutor during her trial, something she fully accepted.
Tiffany explained that July 12 was the date that, four years before, she had been indirectly responsible for the death of a high school friend while using heroin in Prague. The other girl died of hepatitis resulting from sharing a dirty needle at a nightclub. Her friend’s death, coming only ten days after the two girls had abandoned Kim to her fate in Danube City, was the final unhappy event that sent Tiffany into a downward spiral of depression and drug use.
Tiffany Walker felt very guilty over her actions, which was why the annual whippings were such an important part of her life. She needed to suffer for what she did, to be forced to remember and atone for behavior that ruined the life of one friend and ended the life of another. She felt that the intense pain she had to experience every July 12 helped keep her soul clean. It was an annual ritual she endured, and endured quite willingly.
There was a detail about the punishments that struck Cecilia as very odd. Tiffany’s fiancé, Vladik Dukov, was the cop responsible for punishing her. It was Tiffany herself who insisted that only Vladik should be the officer administering her switching. At first Cecilia assumed that Vladik was assigned to punish her to administer less severe strokes, because he was always very courteous and respectful every time Cecilia ever saw them together. It was obvious that Vladik and Tiffany loved each other and were very committed to their relationship.
However, during the hour that Criminal # 98946 was strapped to the switching table, Vladik Dukov was a police officer, not her fiancé. During a punishment he showed her no mercy whatsoever. He struck very hard, in a slow methodical manner that left a full minute between each stroke, the legal maximum. To experience intense pain was what Tiffany expected, and what she wanted. Every July she expected Vladik to punish her severely.
“July 12 means a lot to both of us. That’s the one day I have a chance to face what I’ve done, and really suffer for it. I have a lot of bad memories, stuff that sometimes keeps me up at night…and when he’s finished whipping me, I don’t think about all that shit. All I’m thinking about is how much it hurts. I’m just thinking about the moment, and nothing else. Anyhow, when I’m on the table I’m only getting what I deserve. I don’t know if you’re going to be able to understand this, but the day Vladik is switching me is the one day I don’t feel guilty about what I did to other people. I’m suffering, and especially on that day, on July 12, I want to suffer.”
Knowing Tiffany’s past, Cecilia understood that part of her thinking, but she couldn’t understand why Vladik was the one punishing her. Tiffany continued with her explanation.
“Vladik’s the one whipping me, because he’s the one who loves me. He understands me. He knows my story, and he knows about all the crap that I did before I got sentenced. He sympathizes, but he doesn’t let me make any excuses. He loves me enough to punish me the way I need to be punished. It’s a special understanding that we have with each other. He’s the one who loves me, so he’s the one who’s making me atone for what I’ve done. And when he’s finished and I’m lying on the recovery table, he holds my hand and comforts me, and stays with me until I can get up. He understands. I need him to hurt me, but then I need him to comfort me and tell me that everything’s gonna be fine. I need those moments with him, because it’s the only way I’m able to face what I did with my life before I came back to Danube City.”
“What you did was really that bad?”
“Yes. It wasn’t just Kim and Susan. It wasn’t just the drugs. There was more…a lot more. If you’d seen some of my clients, and some of the shit they wanted me to do…and I did it ‘cause I wanted their money…I mean…I still have flashbacks. Vladik’s the only person who understands that part of me…he knows how he needs to treat me. He’s always very worried about my honor. He’s the kindest boyfriend I’ve ever had. But he also understands one day out of the year; things between us gotta be very different. His kindness wouldn’t mean anything to me if he didn’t make me suffer when I’m on the switching table. That’s just the way I am. I can’t appreciate pleasure unless every so often I feel real fear and real pain.”
As strange as Tiffany’s logic might have sounded to someone who didn’t know her, Cecilia realized that what she was saying did make sense, given her past and her circumstances. The criminal’s needs simply were a more extreme version of what Jason needed during the first couple of months she was disciplining him in her dorm room. Tiffany’s punishments were much more ritualized and much more painful than anything she ever did to Jason, but the basic need was almost the same.
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July 12 came and Tiffany was up early. The young criminal was scheduled to present herself to the Central Police Station and be strapped to switching table at 9:00 a.m. If everything went according to plan, she would be finished by 9:50. Kim would then escort her to her office to recover. Vladik would stay with her until she was well enough to leave the building.
Cecilia also woke up early, because she had volunteered to be go with Criminal # 98946 to the Central Police Station as a witness for the Court. The previous evening Tiffany had surprised her by asking if she wanted to watch her punishment. She explained that a punishment had to be officially witnessed, and that if the witness was someone related to the criminal, so much the better. Cecilia also realized that her housemate wanted her to see the punishment so she could better understand her situation. It was as though Tiffany wanted to entrust her with a very intimate secret. Cecilia agreed, partially because she was genuinely curious to see a Danubian switching first-hand.