You ever have one of those moments were you find something out, and that it makes perfect sense, and yet still can't begin to believe it? I'm having one of those moments right now.
Let me get you all up to speed on everything while I try and figure this out myself. After my last girlfriend Rosa turned out to be married, I decided to take a break from relationships and women and focus on school. This led to a bet with my friend Amy, who said it couldn't be done. And so the bet was made over which one of us would have sex first. We both tried to tempt the other, and failed. Which led to her coming up with the idea of us negating the bet by sleeping with each other. However, she wanted to tie me up and blindfold me. I agreed, and that's how she tricked me into fucking some strange girl, who I didn't know, and lose the bet.
Then, just before Valentine's Day, the letters started from a secret admirer. I didn't know who she was, but her letters told me she was in love with me. Over the course of two months, more and more letters came. Each one with my secret admirer baring her soul to me, along with a few naughty dreams she had.
Which brings us to today. The first day of Spring Break. I'm in my room with my friend Roxanne, who wanted to read some of the letters. Amy burst into the room to ask me for something, but things got weird when she saw Roxanne there. That's when Amy dropped the bomb on me...
"She wrote you those letters," Amy said.
I looked at Roxanne, who was blushing and suddenly seemed very interested in her shoes.
"Right," Amy said. "It's obvious you two have a lot to talk about, so I'll just go."
Amy started to leave, but then stopped, looked back at me and added, "She's also the one you fucked that night when I won the bet."
I felt like I had been hit with three tons of bricks when Amy said that.
Roxanne and I sat there in silence for almost ten minutes. The whole time, she looked like she wanted to run, but she didn't.
I really didn't know what to say. I kind of had this mental image of my secret admirer in my head, and she looked nothing like Roxanne. In fact, she was one of the last people I would've expected to be my secret admirer.
"Fuck, I can't take this anymore," Roxanne suddenly blurted out. "Will you just tell me what a psycho I am and how much you hate me and that you never want to see me again so we get this over with."
She was on the verge of crying, so I pulled her close and hugged her.
"Why would I say that?" I asked her.
"Because it's true," she said, letting the tears come.
"Oh, Rox," I said. "Come on... It's okay." I hugged her a little tighter. "I don't think anything bad about you. I'm just... Just trying to wrap my head around this is all. It's a lot to take in all at once because I never thought I'd get to meet the girl who wrote me those letters. And then it turns out, she's been right in front of me all this time."
"But we barely know each other outside of class," she said.
"Not true," I said. "I know so much about you." I held up one of her letters. "Honestly, each time I get one of your letters, I feel closer to you. Each time I read one, I can feel myself falling for you."
Roxanne looked up at me. Her eyes full of tears. Her cheeks shiny and wet. Her bottom lip trembling. "Really?" she asked.
"Really, really," I said, and then gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"You're not just saying that to make me feel better?" she asked.
"Nope," I said. "In fact, if you don't believe me, ask Jake what I said just before you showed up this morning."
"What did you say?" she asked, her voice just above a whisper.
"I told him," looking her in her eyes, "that I was falling in love with you."
Roxanne's eyes shot wide open when I said that.
"And now that I know who you are," I continued. "I don't feel any different."
I leaned down a little and gently pressed my lips to hers for a moment. Roxanne buried her head into my chest and let out a deep sigh.
"So what happens now?" she asked.
"Whatever you want," I said.
"I like this," she said. "Being held by you."
"Then I guess I'll never let you go," I said.
We stayed like that for a few minutes. Then Roxanne asked, "Can we do this while lying down?"
"Of course," I said, and we moved to lie down on my bed. Roxanne was just a few inches shorter than me, so it was kind of a tight fit on my small bed. But it worked out for the best because it meant that we could just hold each other closer.
It wasn't long before Roxanne fell asleep. As I listened to her breathing shallow, with the occasional light snore, which I swear sounding really cute and adorable, I felt myself slowly start to drift off to sleep.
When I awoke later, it was just a few minutes past noon. Roxanne was awake, with her head propped up on her arm as she watched me.
"Sleep well?" she asked.
"Yeah," I said with a smile. "You?"
"The best sleep I ever had," she said, returning my smile. "I don't know what it is, but I just feel so safe and comfortable with you."
Roxanne laid her head back down on my chest. As we both enjoyed the silence of just being with each other, I started to think about something else Amy had said.
"Was what Amy said true?" I asked.
"Of course it was," Roxanne said. "I think we already established that I was the one who wrote those letters. Or are you doubting my feelings for you?"
"No," I said. "Not that... The other thing."
"Oh," she said. "That."
"Yeah," I said.
"You're not mad about that, are you?" she asked.
"No," I said. "Did Amy tell you what I said afterwards?"
"That you couldn't stop thinking about me?" she said. "Yeah, she told me. That's what got me thinking of you in the way that I do. Before, I just wanted to have sex, you know. Just to get it over with. Amy and I were talking about it during class one day, and I asked her if she knew anyone she could trust to make my first time a good one, because I didn't want to get with some guy that would just worry about himself and not care if I get any pleasure from it. That's when she told me about you. That even during your first time, you did everything you could to make it enjoyable for her as well. So she and I started working on a way to get you to take my virginity."
"But you didn't have your cherry," I pointed out.
"I haven't since I was fifteen and my older sister gave me a vibrator for my birthday," she said. "I got a little carried away and popped it myself. Which turned out to be a good thing because that meant that I could just enjoy my first time and not have to deal with the pain. And believe me when I say it was painful. Anyways, Amy and tried to find a way to get you to be with me. But you had that thing going on about taking time off from women.
"Then that night happened when you got those strippers. Amy came up with an idea and texted me with it. I figured, why the hell not, and agreed. I was waiting right next to the stairs when you guys came up."
