Chapter Twenty: Mary's Absolution
Mary Jones sat in a confessional booth. Her hair was cropped even shorter than usual due to the torments of the Forbidden Staircase, but otherwise she was unscathed by her recent adventure, except perhaps morally. Confession was one of three reasons for this church visit. She said, "Bless me father, for I have sinned."
Father McDonald, their local priest, sat in the other side of the booth. "Tell me about your sins, child," he asked with interest. "But before that, I want to thank you for coming to address our young men's meeting and enrolling them all in visiting and helping to take care of your friend Grandma Petra. It's a great work of charity that I'm sure will be helpful to Grandma Petra and will educate and open the hearts of our young men as well." This had been the second reason for Mary's visit.
"Knowing Grandma Petra, I'm quite certain you're right about this, father," Mary agreed, then began her story. "Well, father, it all started when a man came to our door a while back to threaten my father. He began to rape our housekeeper, Margaret. I intervened and had him rape me instead. He didn't finish in me, though. I kicked him out first."
"Child, what a horrific experience for you to bear on your young body, and for your housekeeper as well. I would say you did the work of God in protecting your servant from this scourge of a man. Surely, this is not a sin, but a blessing. You're absolved. I hope this terrible man will receive just punishment."
"Oh he is, father," said Mary, "twenty to life. But that's not the sin I'm talking about. Then, my friend Imogene and her Aunt Selene came over with a new mystery for me to solve. They were desperate, father, and fearing they were being tormented by ghosts. To solve the mystery, I had to hypnotize them, with their consent, of course, and have them take off all their clothing. I could see from the condition of their privates that they were being tormented by real live men."
"I admit your method was unorthodox, but effective," Father McDonald judged. "Doctors examine victims of sexual abuse all the time, why not detectives? God can forgive this."
"That's not the sin. Then my father arrived home and saw the naked bodies of these women in our parlor. Then, to prove to myself that my friend Immy was actually experienced and not a virgin as she asserted, I had her perform oral sex, while still under hypnosis mind you, on my father."
"That's questionable," remarked Father McDonald. "Ten Hail Marys."
"Gladly, but that's not the sin, father. After that, I met with Sheriff Barton again and sucked him off under the table of a booth in the back of Wilson's Diner."
"Now Mary, we've talked about your dalliances with Sheriff Barton before," scolded Father McDonald. "You must resist the sins of the flesh even though you never intend to marry because of your career. Given your choice to remain single, you must abstain from sex to be virtuous."
"But I've been thinking about this, father," said Mary. "It seems to me that denying one's sexual urges, given you're being helpful and not hurtful in your sexual acts, is denying your God-given humanity, denying the organs of pleasure God has clearly given every one of us. Good sex literally gives us all life, both from the joy it brings us and the babies it brings us from time to time. A rational and educated man like you can't deny that this incontrovertible fact is written by God in the very structure of each of our bodies, the pleasure our bodies give us, and the critical role sex is designed to play in our very existence."
Father McDonald stammered, "Well, Mary, I'm sure there is some merit in your argument, but-"
Mary continued, "Also, it seems to me that the church's motives regarding sex are highly questionable. If sex and therefore pleasure is key, then women are also key, since we are by design the crux of pleasure and life as we bear the children that create us all. This directly contradicts the patriarchal teachings of the church. No wonder the church wants us to deny pleasure, and indeed by doing so, life itself. Facts, if they are available, must hold over conjecture, however traditional, and especially self-serving conjecture, don't you agree father?"
"I can't fault your reasoning at first glance, Mary," said the thoughtful cleric. "Let me think on this. Clearly nobody is being hurt by your interactions with Sheriff Barton for the time being, so why don't we revisit this subject once I've had a chance to think more about your argument."
"Thank you, father. But I do want to correct you there. After both Edna and myself performed oral sex on the sheriff and on each other and both fucked the sheriff, we all met up later, and the sheriff handcuffed Edna and me to tables and whipped us and teased us to countless orgasms. It hurt so good, but we were definitely hurt, though not permanently."
"Since it was part of a pleasurable experience," reasoned Father McDowell, "I suppose we can set it aside along with the whole thing about you and Sheriff Barton."
"Fair enough, but that wasn't the sin I was talking about anyway. To further investigate the case, I performed oral sex on both my friend Imogene and her Aunt Selene."