Chapter 5:
Jack phoned his mother from the ferry and let her know that he would be at her home by one that afternoon. She had sounded a bit better and said that she had talked to Marilyn last night and she was coming out on the first flight she could get. Her friend and neighbor, Joanne Horton, was there to help her with the arrangements and keep her company.
His parting from Donna had been sad and tearful on her part. It would be the first time they had been apart since they had become lovers and now, a couple of hours later, Jack already felt alone and lost. He had lost his father. They were close and shared many good times over the years. How old was he? Seventy five or six? He couldn't recall. It didn't matter. It was too soon and he was unprepared for it. Although he was the younger of the two offspring, he was the one his parents relied upon and it was he who was consulted and named executor.
Marilyn had left home directly after achieving her degree in Education. She was two years older than Jack. She applied for and was granted a teaching position in Ontario, near Ottawa. She had been a very good student in French and she wanted to become bilingual in a practical way. She had been a teacher and now administrator for almost thirty years. She had married a nice guy who was in the Education Ministry of Ontario and they had produced two children; twins Paul and Stephen. They were in their early twenties and both were attending University near their home.
Jack and Marilyn had never been close and yet they were fond of each other. He had not seen her very often over the years and her return for their father's funeral would be their first time since Shannon's funeral. These were all the wrong reasons to have the family, or what was left of it, coming together.
When he arrived at his parent's home, he was surprised at how tranquil his mother was. Her good friend and neighbor, Joanne was with her and he assumed she had been a solid anchor for her in this stressful time.
"Hi mom. How are you keeping?" he asked in sympathy.
"I'm OK John. I'm starting to get used to the fact that your father's gone. It's hard. We've been married for fifty four wonderful years. I was very lucky to have that many I think." she said calmly.
"It was too soon, mom. He was too young. I had no idea that he was ... vulnerable."
"Neither did I. There was no hint or any warning. He had high blood pressure, but then, so do most men his age it seems. He was just out in the back yard, picking up some bags of compost after I'd cleaned out the flower beds. He just keeled over. No sound, no cry ... nothing. If I hadn't been out there with him, I'd never have known it had happened." She was near tears now. The memories were beginning to overwhelm her.
Joanne moved to her and joined with Jack. The three were silent in their grief for a while. Jack finally stepped back and picked up his bag and went to his usual guest room. He stopped when he saw it was already occupied by someone ... Joanne he assumed. He backtracked to the third bedroom and entered, satisfied that it was free. He slowly unpacked his suitcase and hung up his clothes or put them in the dresser. He unpacked his laptop and set it on the desk until he could determine where he could connect to the internet.
He lay back on the bed with his hands behind his head and tried to empty his mind for a while. Too much had happened to him in this past year. It was what he was trying to explain last night at the dinner table when he got off track and he had blurted out his feelings for Donna. He meant every word he knew, but he had surprised and shocked her without consideration. He wasn't insensitive, he thought. Perhaps it was the wine, but more likely it was the excitement of the discovery of his feelings for her. He wanted the whole world to know. He was alive again. He was no longer in hiding.
It hadn't started that way. He was almost cold in his calculating strategy to seduce her. He recognized her vulnerability and quickly went to work to break down her barriers. He succeeded far more quickly that he had expected. She was his to do with as he wished. For a week or two, it was exhilarating; a conquest to brag about among the other Alpha males. It was later that he began to have different feelings about what he had done with and to Donna Remple.
She was so completely and totally female. When he looked at her he saw an erotic painting from a bygone era; boldly colored and broadly stroked on some aging canvas. At some point, she ceased being a captive and became a lover and some weeks later still, from lover to loved. It was an osmosis and the revelation of the previous night was almost as surprising to John Michael Matheson as it was to Donna Louise Remple.
He closed his eyes and tried to visualize her. He could see her lounging on her bed, the sheet pulled carelessly over her hips, her eyes fixed on him. They were hypnotic and he quietly drifted off.
He slept for over an hour and when waking, rose, stretched and moved to the kitchen as he heard sounds of activity.
"Did you have a good sleep, dear." his mother asked.
"I guess so. I didn't realize I was so tired. I'm still a bit dopey, I think." he confessed.
"I'm sorry I didn't warn you about your usual room, John. Joanne is staying with me. She's been very kind and very helpful."
"No need to explain, mom. I'm just glad you have someone here. Joanne is a very good friend." he said, smiling at the taller woman.
Joanne Horton had lost her husband to prostate cancer six years ago and Muriel had been very supportive then and their casual friendship had deepened. She had adjusted to living on her own and Jack idly wondered if that would be the way her mother learned to carry on. He had thought about having her come to Courtenay to live with him, but he could see a number of problems associated with that decision. He decided to wait and see what she wanted when she was better able to make a decision on her future.
"I'm going to head back to my house to see what's going on." Joanne volunteered. "I'll be back in an hour or so." she said smiling. She picked up her coat at the front hall stand and let herself out the front door.
"You're lucky to have her here, mom." Jack said quietly.
"Yes. She's been through ... this ... situation. She knows what to expect I suppose. I don't, John. I'm lost right now." she said sorrowfully. He walked to his mother and embraced her as her sobs began and they stood in the kitchen for some time just letting the emotions go.
"I think I'm finally beginning to understand how you felt when you lost Shannon." she said quietly into his shoulder. "Does the hurt ever go away?" she asked hopefully.
"Not really, mom. But maybe it was different for me. Shannon and I didn't have as much time together as you and dad and it wasn't sudden or unexpected. I think that made it worse in some ways ... knowing what was coming and not being able to do anything about it."
"Your sister will be here tomorrow. It's been a long time since you've seen her, hasn't it."
"Yah ... a long time." he said softly. "Mom ... there's something I have to tell you. Something important."
"What is it, John?"
"I've met someone ... someone important ... important to me." he stammered.
"Oh, John ... really? I'm surprised. That's good news ... isn't it?" She had stepped back and the look of astonishment on her face was hard for Jack to interpret. Was she happy or unhappy?
"Yes ... her name is Donna Remple. She's a real estate agent. She sold me my house. We've been ... dating and ... you know ... seeing each other for several months."
"John ... that's nice. I'm glad. You need someone in your life after ... after what's happened. Is it serious?"
