Chapter 17: The Best I've Ever Had
Ellie's apartment was tiny. A small sitting area with a couch and television cluttered the entryway. Behind these, in the same room, was a secondhand white IKEA queen-sized bedframe. The quilt was twisted haphazardly and dangled from the near side of the bed, still unmade from yesterday morning. The only light came from the lamp on her single bedside table. It was more than sufficient to illuminate the small space. A door to the left led to the bathroom. Around the corner waited her tiny efficiency kitchen with Formica countertops and white mid-'90s appliances.
The first thing Ellie did was strip off her dress, flats, and Hannah's panties, which she left in a trail on the floor behind her as she beelined for the kitchen.
She yanked open her freezer and pulled out a nearly-forgotten, half-finished liter of Grey Goose. Ellie twisted off the lid without hesitation, took a great swig, and gagged over the sink. Then she stubbornly took a second gulp to urge on the effects.
Bottle in tow, Ellie moved to her bathroom and pulled the hot water tap over the bathtub. She sat naked on her toilet, waiting for the tub to fill, and took a third pull from the Grey Goose. She held out the frosty bottle and evaluated it briefly. Then she set it down on the edge of the tub.
You're staying right here.
Ellie cracked her knuckles impatiently while she waited on her bath. The vodka was beginning to work and the drone of the hot water tap swam pleasantly through the humid bathroom.
Though she didn't know why, the song Mad World started playing in her head. Ellie softly sang the only words she knew.
Though I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
The tub was nearly full. Ellie leaned over and tested the water. She sucked air as it scalded her fingers, so she opened the cold tap to adjust, waited a few seconds, shut off both taps, and then lowered herself into the steaming bath.
The painful heat stung her body cathartically. The metal tub squeaked as she sunk lower into the water.
"Hmm hmmmm hmmhmmhmm
...
Maaad world"
She took another swig from the condensating bottle, then bent her knees tight to lay down in the water enough to submerge her hair.
Ellie stared at the popcorn ceiling above the tub. The recent memory surfaced of hundreds of strange eyes in front of the mess hall -- facing certain or near-certain premature death -- gazing at her and clapping an insane applause.
All around me are a million faces
No... Familiar. Familiar faces. Those are the words.
The dusty Old West high street. Tad's winning grin that pressed deep smile lines into his cheeks and crow's feet.
Worn out places, worn out placesss
She checked the vodka bottle and saw that she'd already downed a third of what was left.
Really shouldn't drink like this. Might die young. Poor health in your old age.
Ellie snorted and pulled the Grey Goose into the tub with her. She tipped the neck of the bottle to her upturned mouth, face poking out of the water, and slopped some of it on her chin and into the water. It made her cough and splutter, and that became laughing, imagining herself from above -- a silly girl waterboarding herself with liquor while she bathed in self pity.
She let the bottle float between her legs loosely supported by her fingers, spinning it serenely in the water, careful not to spill more. She thought of the spacesuits in the giant pool ("tank", Hannah had corrected her).
