"Okay, I'll talk to Brent about it, but no promises. And I'll see if Carolyn doesn't mind Alex staying with her while we go to the dinner I don't really care about." I smiled.
"Jessie, I know you want to spend as much time as you can with Sarah and Alex but we want you to take some time for yourself, too. You need the rest. Look, I've put some thought into this. A lot of what's been eating at Sarah was nearly losing you. You two had just met a few weeks before but, from phone calls and visits, you had quickly become her best bud. I doubt she ever had someone like you in her life. You're more than a foster sister. She looks up to you as much as she does us. She's bonded with you and you have with her, too. You can't even pretend you haven't. And although you were not awake through it, she nearly lost you four times. She dreamed of having a big sister all her life, then gets one and spent weeks thinking you were not going to come back. We all did. We hoped and prayed we were wrong but especially her and Brent; well, they suffered even more than the rest of us. They both took it hard and I think thats why they are both so protective of you and why Sarah is still shaky a lot. She knows now we'd never give her up, and you two wouldn't either, but she is afraid you could seize again any minute and be gone. And poor Brent! He goes through all that, and you don't know how he cried, we all did, but Brent... well, he was ready to die himself if he lost you. We had the pastor talk to him and it did no good. If your readouts hadn't started looking up we were going to get him to a psychiatrist. So, if Sarah wants to cling to you and Brent seems overly worried, just let it be. There is only so much of you, and if you don't take care of yourself and rest; well, no one wants that. So please, take it easy, okay? For all of our sakes, but especially those two. You're irreplaceable," Ron said.
This was the first time Ron, Allison and I had been able to talk, just the three of us, since I woke at the hospital. I didn't really want to have this conversation but I knew my injuries had taken their toll on them and they deserved to talk to me about how it had affected everyone. They had every right to scold me about taking care of myself. It was just another way of saying they loved me.
"I know. I am getting enough sleep though, I promise. I do need some empty days, too, but it's just been so busy. Maybe after this week, once I have a routine back, it will slow down. Besides, hanging out with Sarah isn't tiring, and you're right. She's not like a foster sister. She's my little sis. There is nothing foster about it. And I can't spend time with her and spend the same time without her anyway. Brent made me give up thinking of him as my big brother but I'm never going to see Brat as anything except my little sis. I'm sure Alex won't be a burden to have up, either. He is adorable! Oh, and Brent is taking good care of me. I promise."
"Has the marriage thing we talked about last week worked itself out now?" Ron asked delicately. I knew he was referring to my fit of depression on my wedding night.
"Yes! Definitely!" I smiled.
"That's good. That had us worried, too," Allison said. I should have realized my fit of hormonal rage and self loathing would have been shared with her by Ron and, after a moment's thought, did not mind at all.
"You don't have to worry. Ya know, maybe for Spring Break Brent and I should get away for a bit. It might be nice to slow down some and have some romance time."
"Thanks, but we'll worry just the same. Its a parent's prerogative. And seriously, I think it's a good idea to finish the basement and attic while you're away. It will give you all the room you need. Hey, did anyone else think he pronounced her name, "Damn It Uh," the first time?" Ron asked.
"Only you, Ron, only you," Allison sighed as he smiled. From my smile and hers, I'm sure Ron knew we were all thinking the same thing.
We chatted a half hour or so until Brent and the kids came in with a re-energized puppy with them. Then Ron announced he was cooking dinner. This was a joke around the house which Sarah enjoyed explaining to Alex. Whenever we ordered carry out it was referred to as Ron cooking dinner. That night, he cooked pizza; which delivered. We ate together at the dining room table, which was not usual for such casual fare but it got Alex accustomed to they way things generally were around the house as that was where we normally ate and we didn't usually do carry out. I knew from my experience that sitting at the table eating dinner like a family was something to cherish after the wrecked childhoods we kids had shared.
After dinner, Allison cleaned up. I tried to help but was shooed away. Brent and Ron hung around the edge of the kitchen talking sports but, in reality, were keeping an eye on our math student and tutor to make sure what Alex was teaching was correct and that Sarah was learning. It was like reliving my own experience with math a couple years earlier when Brent had helped me pass high school Algebra.
Alex was quite smart for his age. He only had to ask a couple of questions along the way when he got stumped and Sarah was soaking it all up and seemed to be understanding it. It was hard to believe that she was a grade ahead of him but, just as I had, she came to the family and school district with a lot of catching up to do.
Once Allison finished, the kids finished Sarah's homework, and Damita was again walked briefly, it was early enough for the kids to pick out a movie for us to watch as a family. Ron keeps quite a few on DVD but Sarah wanted to show how the cable and internet accounts worked so, while she taught Alex, Brent and I curled up on the couch. Ron and Allison sat beside us after popcorn and drinks were served, again not allowing me to help. Sarah sat by Allison, and finally Alex found his place between Brent and Ron, both of whom were doting on their little fishing buddy.
Life was good.
The evening ended too soon and, as far as the drive back to our home went, too late. Damita was a bit upset about leaving Alex and he was a bit teary, too, until Allison suggested they stop by while shopping the next day so Alex could help Damita settle into our home. Alex went to his room, Brent's old one, and came back having changed shirts, and carrying the old and worn flannel one he had been wearing.
"Mom said she knows us by scent, so let her sleep with this," he said as he handed it to Brent. "It will calm her down. I always
let her sleep on my old clothes if she was upset or I was away at school. I guess it worked."
"That's a good idea, buddy" Brent said, accepting the shirt with a smile. I didn't know if that was true or not but Damita was calmer on the drive home.
The evening ended in a chorus of hugs between the six of us and Alex gave us all smiles, which was the best present he could have given. He was sad at losing his mom, and would continue to be, but I think he felt safe and cared for. I knew that soon he would grow to love our family and we would grow to love him. He wasn't as extroverted as Sarah, he was quite reserved in fact, but he was a wonderful, caring little boy and we just adored him.
Sarah protested that she wanted to go shopping, too, but Ron and Allison both nixed this. If she wanted, she could go after she got out of school the next day but you only got to skip school your first two days and she had already gotten hers. Plus, she would have more homework and it would need to be done. Ron and Allison were strict about our studies. They continued to be with Brat and would be with Alex, too.
"Well, can I go to see Sissy, Brent and Damita tomorrow with you?"
"We'll see," Allison said but we all knew she would be bringing them by after she picked Sarah up.
"Am I still spending the weekend with you?" Sarah asked me.
"Of course, why wouldn't you? Both you and Alex are. Mom and Dad need a break too, ya know!" I smiled.
"Jessie, we have a lot to do and you have your thing Saturday, maybe we should think about..." was all Allison got out before Sarah and Alex's grins cut her off. "Oh, all right. But you have to take it easy on Jessie. She needs her rest, understand?"
"We will, I promise" Sarah replied. Alex looked confused.
"You need rest?" He asked.
I knelt down to his height for one more bye hug, and said "Yeah, I was in an accident and hurt pretty bad. Everybody was worried and upset about me for weeks. I'm mostly better now but the doctors want me to get a lot of rest. Mom and Dad and Sarah worry about me a lot and poor Brent, too. It's nice to be worried about, though. It means people love you, ya know? Anyway, you don't have to worry about me. They worry enough and I need one family member who isn't scared I'm going to fall over. Okay?"
"Okay! But... are you going to fall over?" Alex asked.
"Brent will catch me if I do. He always has. I'm doing pretty good and Saturday morning I get to start running again and going to the gym. Do you like to run?"
"Yeah, I'll run with you. That way if Brent gets tired I can catch you if you fall." He grinned.
That got him a kiss on the forehead which, in turn, earned me the biggest smile a little boy has ever given me.
A little before 10 we were on the road. This cut into my plans severely as we had class in the morning but it was worth it to me. As to how Brent felt, well, he was so protective of me I doubt it would have come up had I not raised it after we merged onto the interstate.
