THREE SISTERS Chapter 7
For many months, I thought myself happy. Maybe it was simply that I was busy: building new houses, stockpiling wood for the winter, laying in food - all this while studying the defences of Prospal Hill, as I tried to ascertain if it was as well hidden as most of its inhabitants believed it to be.
But as winter came on, I discovered that I had grown moody, and irritable. Guenna looked at me, mystified, and slightly hurt, when I scolded her for no good reason. Sulcen said nothing, but she avoided eye contact even more than usual.
It wasn't her fault, either - though she
was
the cause.
After several months, I still hadn't achieved a breakthrough with my wife. She lay with me, whenever I wished it - which was quite frequently. I admit that. She would listen, attentively, if I told her a story, or described anything in great detail. But her answers to my innocent queries were evasive, or limited to a single word.
I stayed well away from any mention of her first husband, or the life that she had led, back then. Nor did I ask her about what had happened between them, that drove her to kill him. Yet I wondered if I was unknowingly reminded her of what she'd been through.
Still, she avoided looking at me, and rarely initiated a conversation, unless it was about some trivial matter, which was quickly resolved. I was growing angry. It wasn't her fault, but more and more I suspected that she was unhappy.
I knew that I had a problem when I snapped at Hedyn while he was helping me build a table for our house.
The big man didn't respond. He simply laid down his tools, and stood up.
- "We'll finish this tomorrow." he said.
That was when I realized that I was losing my self-control.
- "You're an idiot." said Guen Nadesti, when I told her about it.
- "That's helpful." I said.
- "For a reasonably bright man, you're remarkably stupid, Veran."
- "Oh?"
- "You're punishing yourself." said Mother Nadesti.
- "Am I, now?" I said, with a touch of sarcasm.
- "You blame yourself for Meonwe's death. And for your son's." she said.
I opened my mouth to answer, before realizing that I had nothing to say. She was right.
"It's not
all
your fault." she said. "Lanko was reckless, and a fool. Dengel was stubborn. And if you should have seen into Bacho's heart a long time ago ... well, I didn't see it, either."
"And you had
nothing
to do with what happened to Sulcen."
I nodded. I knew that.
- "It wasn't your fault, Veran." said my wife's mother.
- "But ... I can't reach her, Guen." There it was. I admitted my failure - one more thing to feel guilty about.
- "You already have." she said, softly. "She agreed to marry you. Unless I'm completely mistaken, you've been sleeping together - quite regularly. And she hasn't killed you yet."
- "That's not funny."
- "It wasn't meant to be. Veran - you think you know what's she's been through.
You don't
. Whatever it was, she can't even speak of it. Don't wear yourself out trying to guess."
"Be kind to her. Be patient. You've already made more progress with her than I have. In less time, as well. Just be patient."
My girls were wonderful with Sulcen. Yevna brought her small game, and helped to prepare it. Guenna kept Sulcen company, and hovered nearby, ready to help with any task. Tanguiste put into practice all of the lessons she had learned in Moruith's house. My daughters were almost
too
helpful.
It was Tanguiste who saw it first.
- "We have to give her more space." she said. "There doesn't have to be someone with her at every moment. She probably
wants
to be alone from time to time."
- "I don't want her to be lonely." said Guenna.
- "That's
your
greatest fear. Sulcen may not see it that way." said Tanguiste.
So I asked my wife.
- "Are the girls bothering you too much? Would you prefer to be left alone, sometimes?"
Sulcen thought carefully before she answered.
- "I do enjoy quiet ... and solitude. But your daughters are very kind. I wouldn't want them to think me ... ungrateful."
I repeated what she had said, word for word. The girls weren't put out at all. From then on, Guenna limited herself to one - or two - questions a day. And all of three of them got into the habit of hugging Sulcen before they went out - and then leaving her alone, in peace, for longer stretches of time.
That wasn't the only help they gave me. Tanguiste had advice to offer.
- "Tell her what happened to us, Papa. Tell her about Mother, and Iarn. Explain it to her. Your eye, and Yevna's teeth. She deserves to know, don't you think?"
I had been resisting the urge to tell that tale. Somehow, I feared that Sulcen might take it as an attempt on my part to earn her favour. 'See', I would be saying, 'we've suffered, too. We're the same as you.'
But I knew, now, that nothing could be further from the truth. My girls and I had shared our night of horror. We had each other to lean on, to share our pain. And our horrific experience had lasted for a single night, before we exacted a measure of revenge and made our escape.
Sulcen had suffered alone - for years.
She'd had no one to turn to, no one to confide in. And when she finally found the courage to defend herself - her husband's community turned her out. They knew what he'd done, and that she was the victim, but they sent her back to her mother anyway.
That didn't mean, though, that I should keep our experience from her. She could make of it whatever she would. Tanguiste was probably right, too, to suggest that she would never tell me her story first.
The three girls went to spend an evening with Moruith and Inisian, leaving me alone with my bride. Sulcen understood that I was up to something.
- "I want to tell you a story." I said. "At first ... I was afraid to bring it up. It's not a secret, exactly. There are others who know - including your mother. But I want you to hear the true version. I want you to understand my daughters, and to know how Yevna lost her teeth."
Sulcen nodded, and sat down.
I told her everything, from the theft of Eguen's sheep, to our flight from Moruith's house. I didn't spare her - or myself - a single detail. It wasn't easy to speak of Meonwe - of how much I loved her - to my new wife.
It was ... an incredible experience -
for me
. Somehow, I think that Tanguiste knew that it would be.