The incessant barking woke Jake from a highly erotic dream about a platinum blonde, a pair of busty brunettes, coconut bras, leaf underwear, and a deserted island. Rolling over, the teen spotted the bright red 11:16 on his alarm clock. Continuing his rollover, Jake saw Bandit standing beside his bed, barking excitedly.
"Dammit. Can't Libby take you out ever?" Jake grumbled, moving to sit on the side of his bed.
Bending down, he patted the bulldog on the head. Still, the attention didn't stop Bandit's racket. After a noisy stretch and yawn, Jake stood up.
"Alright, alright. I'll take you out," he told the dancing dog, who raced to the hallway before checking to see if his brother followed.
The sound of a shower running in the second-floor bathroom led to several pounds on the door.
"How about taking the dog out next time before your damn beauty bath!" Jake yelled.
Ignoring the confused shouted reply, Jake descended the stairs with Bandit, who frequently looked back to double-check his progress. Once on the first floor, the bulldog raced ahead into the kitchen. Shuffling his feet in his tired state, Jake nearly fell over when a voice startled him.
"Bandit was already out," Phinn announced from the kitchen. His next-door neighbor typed away on the phone while the dog gobbled up his reward treat for a job well done.
"You...You! You let him into my room!" Jake accused, slowly putting together what had happened.
"Unlike you, Bandit follows orders like a good detective. Oh, yes, you do," Phinn praised, using his foot to rub the dog's back. Then, the bespectacled teen returned his attention to his best friend. "It was time to get up. We have things to do and places to be."
"I didn't get home until seven!" Jake pointed out. "I need more sleep."
"And I took into account that you fell asleep by 7:15; thus, I gave you precisely four hours of sleep before directing your wake-up call," Phinn stated. A smile formed as he typed. The rare occurrence caused Jake to notice something else.
"Hey, you're using my phone!" Jake exclaimed, spotting Phinn's phone on the kitchen table next to him. "Wait, I changed my passcode just the other day!"
"I told you that your passwords need more work. They're easy to guess," Phinn replied, placing Jake's phone beside his.
"They always are," Libby agreed, entering the kitchen dressed in a bathrobe with a towel wrapped around her wet hair.
"Stop using my phone...everyone!" Jake bellowed, causing Bandit to run around his legs while barking.
"You're better off finding Phinn a girlfriend to distract him," Libby suggested, pouring a cup of coffee.
"Yuck," Jake sounded, and Phinn nodded in agreement. The two teens found coffee disgusting.
"Wait until you get to college," the older dirty blonde replied with her sage advice. "And make sure it's a good girl, not one of your sluts."
"Hey! I don't date sluts."
"No, he only goes out on dates with them," Phinn countered, earning a pat on the head from Libby as she moved to sit across from him at the kitchen table.
"Phinn wouldn't last with a good girl. They'd be frightened off by his devious thinking," Jake argued. "I have better taste and understand girls way more than he does."
"So says the guy smitten with Regina Tarr," Phinn said, tossing the verbal grenade into the kitchen.
"What?!" Libby shrieked, slamming her coffee mug down on the table.
"The hell?" Jake shot at his partner.
"You stay away from that rich bitch. I'm ordering you right this minute, Jake!" Libby said, suddenly acting as if Jake were five again. "I don't need an accident happening. I'm not getting stuck with her as--"
"I always wrap my...Oh, wait," Jake protested before muttering at the end. No condoms were used for any of the rounds last night with Regina.
"What the fuck does that mean?" Libby questioned.
"Jake, go take a shower. You have fifteen minutes before we leave," Phinn directed, causing Libby to glare at him for interrupting. So, he added toward her, "And you can fill me in about Regina Tarr."
"Fine! Maybe you can keep my horny, idiotic brother out of trouble."
"Wait, I'm not--" Jake started before his best friend and his sister cut him off simultaneously.
"Go!"
***********************************************************************************************
"Get a move on it. It's been seventeen minutes," Phinn noted, holding up his phone.
"I can't find my keys. We can't leave until I--"
"I have them," Phinn revealed, holding the keys up with his other hand.
"Why didn't you say something earlier?" Jake complained before turning to kneel by his dog. "Sorry, buddy, I'm going to have to leave you with the bitch. Don't worry, Dad should be home soon. He promised."
"See ya, Bandie!" Phinn yelled,
"Don't call him that," Jake said, jogging to catch up with his fellow detective outside on the porch. "Libby calls him that."
"So does your mom," Phinn reminded, checking his phone. "We need to get a move on it."
"Well, we wouldn't have lost time if you'd...Wait, why did you have my keys?" Jake questioned, suddenly feeling suspicious.
"Don't worry about that right now," Phinn replied dismissively. He glanced far down the street, nodding at what he saw.
Knowing his oldest friend's behavior, Phinn's response immediately deepened Jake's suspicion. Digging his phone out of his pocket, the stocky detective checked his messages and calls. Scrolling down through a long line of sent and received texts, Jake's jaw dropped.
"You're flirting with Johanna? What the hell? Wait...Did you flirt with Johanna while pretending to be me? Phinn!"
Phineas opened the driver's side door by leaning over from the passenger side seat.
"Stop whining and get in. We have to leave now!"
Begrudgingly, Jake got into his car and started it up. Several quick glares in the other teen's direction brought a partial answer.
"I needed Johanna to agree to share her footage with us. She got a little annoyed with me last night, so the request had to come from you."
"You couldn't ask me to ask?" Jake shot back, throwing his hands up in confusion over where to drive.
