The Book Lover Ch 26

Author's note:

This chapter was supposed to go into the wedding celebrations of Tom and Jessie. As I was writing it, I began a scene between Tom and Jaleh and it created an opportunity for us to explore Tom's past a little deeper to understand his desires better.

That scene took much longer than I anticipated, so I decided to just keep this as a smaller, standalone chapter, just before the wedding celebrations begin. The next chapter will go into the wedding celebrations. I expect two more chapters after that, and then an epilogue. As I have said before, the character of Tom is based on myself. His memories and desires therefore mimic my own, with some modifications for artistic license.

Tom sat in a chair, tied down and unable to move.

It was his bachelor party, and they were celebrating in a bar. There had been drinking, a pool tournament, dart throwing, and various card games.

But all that only led up to the moment that everyone was really waiting for, the moment taking place right in front of his eyes as he sat helpless in his chair, naked from the waist down, his hard cock showing everyone in the bar how turned on he was at the sight in front of him.

Jessie was straddling a high-backed barstool backwards so that her breasts were pressed into the wood-framed back, and her ass was hanging off the end of the stool.

And she was naked.

His dad stood behind her, the fingers of his hands interlocked on her throat with his thumbs extending under her jawline, holding her face up so she could look at the man she was about to marry.

His rhythmic thrusting behind her made it clear he was fucking her, even though Tom couldn't actually see it happening. All the other bachelor party participants, which consisted of all his male friends and family, along with all the people Jessie had ever fucked, were standing naked, lined up behind his dad along the back wall of the bar, stroking their cocks, waiting for

their

turn with the bride-to-be.

Tom could see they had caught the attention of the other bar patrons. How could they not? But instead of being upset by the lewd display, they gathered to watch. The men were beginning to take off their clothes and take their spots in the line.

Tom's dad was looking him right in the eye as he fucked his soon to be daughter-in-law.

"God, your fiancée has a tight little ass," he announced to the room, while boring his sight straight into Tom's eyes. "I'm going to love filling it with cum while you sit over there and watch me fuck her."

Jessie looked at him, looking down at his hard cock, standing straight up, attesting to just how turned on he was, before looking him in the eyes.

"Wow, Tom," she said, staring him in the eyes. "You really do have some wicked fantasies in this dirty little head of yours, don't you?"

"Yes," Tom said. "Quite a few of them."

"I know, I looked at all the ones involving our wedding before picking this one. This one is pretty far out there."

She looked down at his cock again, then back up into his eyes.

"This really does turn you on, doesn't it?"

He couldn't possibly explain it, but there was no denying it. He realized now that he was only dreaming, and that Jessie had once again entered into his consciousness while he slept to explore one of his fantasies, but until she spoke to him, it felt

very

real to him, and he could feel the incredible arousal it had caused, evidenced by his hard cock.

"Yes," he admitted. "I know it seems so fucked up, but..."

"You don't have to defend yourself, babe. Most of us have almost no control over the things that turn us on. Many women have rape fantasies. There's little doubt that's totally fucked up, but it's still pretty common."

Tom looked back at the man behind Jessie, still obviously fucking her even though Jessie didn't seem to really notice. It was no longer his dad, but instead just a blurry face he didn't recognize, as were all the men standing in line for their turn. The focus was now on the conversation they were having about the fantasy, and no longer on the fantasy itself. The actual fantasy had just become background noise.

"You must realize I am not going to fulfill these fantasies like this, right? I will not be gang banged by every man in attendance at your bachelor party. I am not going to invite a bunch of strange black men into our hotel room on our wedding night so you can watch them fuck me. I am

never

going to have sex with your dad, but especially not right before our wedding."

"I know," Tom replied. "I wouldn't expect you to."

"True," she said, "but I picked this particular fantasy to show you that you would be

very

excited if I actually did all of these things you have fantasized about. Perhaps you would hate it after the fact, but while it was happening, you would sit there, your cock indicating just how much you liked it, just like it is now."

"I... ummm... I guess," He replied without much conviction.

"No Tom," she said firmly, "we are not hiding from the truth here. That's why I came into this fantasy, so we could acknowledge the truth. You need to admit that these really dark fantasies really do turn you on, and you would be out of control with lust if they

actually

happened. Even the most twisted of these fantasies, like this one."

"Yes," he finally agreed. "You are right. I am not proud of myself for having some of these fantasies, and especially not proud that I would love it while they were actually happening, but I cannot deny the power they have over me."

"Much better," Jessie said to him. "There is no point in trying to hide from the truth. I don't judge you for being turned on by any of this. But I need you to admit something to me, right here, right now."

"What is that?" Tom asked.

"That you would love it if I was willing to play the part in these wedding fantasies you have. I will do it for you. I am going to tone them all down, and be much more careful than you fantasize me being, but I am happy to help you live out some of these ideas, albeit scaled

way

back. We will only get married once. We will only get once chance to do any of this. Do you want me to help you experience some of these fantasies in ways that work for me?"

"Yes," he said simply. "I think I do."

He woke up to the feeling of his hard cock being lovingly stroked. He opened his eyes to see Jessie smiling down at him.

"This is really want you want, isn't it?"

God her hand felt good stroking his shaft like that.

"It is," he agreed.

"I can't do most of the things that drive your fantasies," she informed him. "But I can definitely find a way to get as close as I am comfortable getting to a lot of them. That

is

what you want me to do, isn't it. You want our wedding to involve your fantasies?"

"God yes," he replied, feeling himself approaching an orgasm from her lovely hand.

"Okay then," she said. "It won't be quite the way most little girls dream about their wedding. But then, I am not like most little girls, now am I?"

"Definitely not," Tom agreed.

"There is one more thing we must do before this can all happen," she said softly.

"And what is that?"

"You'll see," she said with a smile.

Tom arrived home late on a Thursday night. He had a lot of things he had to finish at work. It would be almost two full weeks before he went back to work. He was taking Friday off to make final preparations for the weekend. Friday night was the bachelor party. Saturday was going to be spent with both families in Central Park, followed by the wedding dinner, and Sunday was the day Jessie would finally become his wife.

Sunday night they would spend in the honeymoon suite at the Plaza Hotel, paid for by Tom's parents, and then Monday they were to leave for their honeymoon in Europe for ten days, flying in to Paris and home from Rome and figuring out what to do in between on the way.

He was looking forward to a quiet night with Jessie before the hectic weekend kicked off, as Rebecca, the new tenant in their guest bedroom, was away for the night.

As he stepped into the apartment, he was surprised to find that it was dark. He was expecting Jessie to be home waiting for him. She hadn't said anything about being gone for the evening. Just as he was about to turn the lights on, he realized the apartment wasn't all dark.

There was a flickering light coming from the master bedroom.

He suspected that meant Jessie was in there waiting for him in a candlelit bedroom, so he decided not to spoil the mood, instead putting his stuff away and making his way into the bedroom, without turning any lights on.

He was surprised as he entered the bedroom to find Jaleh, not Jessie.

Of course, he understood that it

was

actually Jessie, but that Jaleh was altering his perception of her so that he would know that it was her he was dealing with. This typically only happened when Jessie had given Jaleh full control over her body.

She was dressed in the same dominatrix gear she had been in the first night she had made him submit to her. They had repeated this a few times since, so it didn't come as a huge surprise, but he hadn't really expected it this close to the wedding.

-Do you submit yourself to me, boy, totally and completely?-

This was also standard practice. A commitment made inside this realm of consciousness could not be broken, and Jaleh always started these sessions by getting Tom to make that commitment so that she would be in

full

control.

He hesitated for a second, only because he had assumed he would get a quiet night with Jessie before the hectic weekend ramped up. He had learned to trust Jaleh. Initially he was given the assurance that Jessie would make sure Jaleh didn't push him too far when he submitted to her, but he didn't really feel like he needed that anymore. He liked it when Jaleh helped him occasionally fulfill his desire to truly submit.

-yes, mistress-

The evening was now completely out of his control, which was not what he was expecting, but also something he knew he would likely enjoy.

"I fully intend to use you for my own pleasure tonight, boy, but I am mostly here with a different purpose tonight."

"And what is that, mistress?" Tom replied.

"We are going to access some truths that you seem very uncomfortable facing on your own. Madam wishes to understand the motivations you seem reluctant to acknowledge. If she is to give you the wedding you desire, she wants a reckoning of these motivations as payment. You can no longer hide from them because you have given me control. So I am going to ask you questions. You will make no attempt to hide the answers from me. You will tell me the truth, without hesitation and without guile. Understood?"

"Yes, mistress," Tom replied. He knew he really didn't have a choice anyway. He'd already made a binding commitment to do whatever Jaleh demanded of him.

"We will need to dig into your past for you to find the answers we seek. I will help you access any memories you may need to access, even if you have been suppressing them. Of course either Madam or myself could easily access these memories on our own, but it's past time for you to face them, no longer hide from them, and admit the truth about who you really are."

"Yes, mistress," Tom agreed.

"So, my first question is this. Why do you submit yourself to me so completely and so easily?"

Tommy saw her coming towards him, dribbling the ball with great precision. He was tasked with guarding her. It should have been easy. He was taller, faster, and he was a boy. Boys were supposed to be better at sports than girls, right?

Their fifth grade teacher had talked about the history of the Olympics. It had led to a discussion about the fact that men and women competed separately in the Olympics, because men would completely dominate women otherwise.

It had been Tony that started the teasing during recess. It was always Tony. He began teasing Jennifer about how girls just couldn't compete against boys, about how they were inferior.

"Oh yeah?" Jennifer had replied, "wanna bet on that?"

"Sure," Tony said confidently. "What do you have in mind?"

"You pick any two boys you want, and I'll pick any two girls I want and we play hoops, right here, right now, in a game to ten. Winners get to pick anything they want from the loser's lunches for the next week."

"You're on, sucker," Tony had said. "I can't wait to pick through your lunch for a week."

And thus the game had been set. Tony had picked Tommy because he was tall and fast, and Eric because he was stronger than anyone else.

Jennifer had picked Erin and Melissa.

Tony had been so confident that they were going to kick the girls asses. He immediately began talking smack, laughing at how easily they were going to demolish this group of little girls.

It had been Tommy's task to guard Jennifer, the girl he'd had a serious crush on since they'd moved into the neighborhood the year before. At the time, they didn't know that she loved the game of basketball. And, of course, they didn't know that she was going to go on to play basketball on a full scholarship for a division I school.

They moved on to the court.

"Make it take it?" Tony said, laughing at the girls.

"Sure," Jennifer agreed.

"Then you should get the ball first," Tony taunted, "because it's the only time you'll ever get it."

All the boys watching laughed out loud. Jennifer just smiled, took the ball and dribbled it toward Tommy, who was supposed to shut her down.

He confidently took a step to cut off her path to the basket, and she quickly dribbled behind her back, changing direction, slashing unimpeded to the basket, where she easily laid it in.

The boys stopped laughing. The girls who were watching all cheered.

Tony laughed it off.

"Lucky," he said, tossing her the ball at the top of the key. "Now, shut her down," he said to Tommy, "and let's humiliate them."

This time, Tom waited on that behind the back dribble, so instead Jennifer blew past him on his left, cut to her left to slip past the much slower Eric, easily banking in a reverse layup.

The cheering from the girls increased in intensity. The boys were eerily quiet.

It was 5-0 before Jennifer finally missed a shot. Tommy grabbed the rebound, tossed it up to Tony at the top of the key who held it for a few seconds and threw it back down inside to a waiting Tommy, posting up on the shorter Jennifer. It was supposed to be a mismatch. Tommy turned to shoot over her, but as he brought the ball up, she swatted it out of his hand, grabbed the loose ball, dribbled to the top of the key and turned and drained a jump shot.

"Shit!" Tony shouted out. "What are you doing?" He shouted in Tommy's direction.

"You wanna try guarding her?" Tommy asked.

He didn't. Instead he chose to leave that task to Tommy, letting him be the one that got thoroughly humiliated.

The boys lost 10-2. It had been over almost as soon as it started.

It was humiliating for all three of them, but none more than Tommy. He had been scorched for 8 of the ten points the girls had scored, all made by Jennifer, the girl he most had a crush on.

And she had rubbed it in all afternoon.

It stung to be humiliated like that, and to be the laughing stock of the whole class.

He felt terrible all afternoon and all evening, right up until he went to bed.

He

always

thought about Jennifer when he went to bed. He was just old enough to be starting to think about sex, and to be really intrigued by the opposite sex. He was just old enough to have been turned on by the pictures of naked girls in the magazines his friend had snuck out of his dad's stash.

He was not really old enough to think about actual sex. He usually imagined himself kissing Jennifer, wondering what she might look like naked.

But that night, all he could think about was the way his crush had humiliated him in basketball.

And then something happened.

His brained turned the humiliation he had endured into something else entirely. In the very moment he usually thought about making out with Jennifer, the humiliation he had felt all afternoon combined with the desire he usually felt for her. And suddenly he found himself thoroughly aroused. It was his first memory where he could remember feeling how powerful that physiological response could be.

The humiliation suddenly became the source of an incredibly powerful, and incredibly pleasurable feeling.

He suddenly imagined in his head that after Jennifer had beaten him so badly on the court, that she had demanded a different prize from the bet. The idea seemed to come into his head out of nowhere. Instead of getting to pick from their lunches, what if she had demanded that the loser have to strip in front of everyone, right there on the court?

And in that moment, the humiliation of the entire afternoon washed over him, combined with the added humiliation of thinking about stripping in front of all the girls in his class.

The arousal that swept over him was more intense than any emotion he had ever experienced.

"This was your very

first

fantasy, wasn't it Tommy?" Jaleh asked. Tom instinctively knew that Jaleh would begin using Tommy as her name for him whenever he submitted to her from now on.

"Yes, mistress," Tom answered. "But I don't quite understand why. What is it about me that made it so that the humiliation of losing to a girl would have turned me on so much?"

"Let me follow that up with another question, Tommy. When do you find yourself wanting to submit to people?"

"What do you mean, mistress?"

"Do you want to submit to people at work, or on the subway, or in the grocery store?"

"No, of course not, mistress."

"So I think it's safe to assume that you are not naturally submissive, since you are quite the opposite of submissive in all the other aspects of your life, wouldn't you say, Tommy?"

"That seems a fair assessment, mistress."

"Therefore, we must conclude that you weren't turned on by this because of something inherent to your character."

"So, why then, mistress?"

"I can't really say for sure, but my suspicion is that it was coincidental. You had an experience which effected you emotionally in a very big way. Later that night, you started thinking about Jennifer in a very

different

way and those emotions collided in a way that caused an intense response. You were just beginning to enter puberty and your hormones were ramping up. It was the perfect storm for creating your first real sexual fantasy."

"I guess that makes sense, but why would that have carried over until today?"

"You loved the way it made you feel, Tommy. Everyone does.

Especially

that first time we feel it. So you wanted to feel that again. You went back to that fantasy, didn't you, Tommy?"

"Yes, mistress, I did," Tom replied.

"Many, many times?"

"Yes," he said.

"And so, in your mind," Jaleh went on, "you began to associate this idea of being embarrassed or humiliated for not even being good enough to beat a girl who was shorter and slower than you at basketball, with this newfound intense sexual desire that you craved. And all of this took place when you were just beginning to have these hormones and had no idea how to deal with them. Can't you see how that combination of factors created this intense sexual desire, the one that makes you crave submitting to me, even though you would never choose to submit to anyone in any other way?"

"That does make a lot of sense, mistress."

"But this isn't what makes you so eager to try to hide these fantasies, is it, Tommy?"

"No, mistress."

"Then show me."