The Book Lover Ch 23

Author's Note

Once again, I apologize for the delay in getting this next chapter out after ending the last chapter on a bit of a cliffhanger. This ended up being a bit of a long chapter with lots of different scenes in it. I believe they are all connected together with a similar purpose, so I wanted them to all be in the same chapter.

Please note that this and all future chapters of this story will come much slower from now on. I pretty much had a first pass of everything up to this point already written which tended to only need minor modifications. That is as far as I ever got with the story the first time around, so everything is brand new from this point on.

I anticipate several more chapters and an epilogue before the story is finally complete, and it may take me quite a bit of time to resolve everything. There will be more conflict and potentially darker times before it all resolves.

"What do you mean, you can't?" Tom asked her, stunned at her response.

She looked at him, the tears running down her face.

"I mean that I can't agree to marry you. Not yet. As much as I would love to say yes to you right here and right now, it isn't really fair to either of us."

"What does that even mean?" Tom asked.

"Look," she began to explain, "for the last few weeks, it's just been you and me, reconnecting in ways we should have done long ago. And it's been great, and I'm so glad we did it. But it doesn't represent what life is

really

going to be like, now does it? Let's face it, ours will never be a normal marriage. It can't be. I don't believe either of us really want it to be."

"So what are you saying?" Tom asked, feeling very confused.

"I'm saying that I would love to be able to agree to marry you, but there are several issues we have to resolve first."

"Like what issues?" Tom asked.

"Are you sure you are ready to start facing them? We can keep doing what we are doing a little longer if you'd like, just you and me, enjoying this moment?"

"I'm not sure I can still enjoy the moment,"

he replied, "if I know you have issues you think we need to resolve before you can agree to take this to the next level."

"Okay then," she responded. "I'm ready if you're ready."

"I'm ready," he agreed. "So what are these issues?"

"i want to address them one at a time," she said, "starting with the biggest one."

"And what is the biggest one?" He asked.

"I think before I can answer that question, I need to ask you a question."

"And what is that?" He asked.

"Do you trust me?" Jessie asked him.

The question made him more than a little bit nervous, but he took a deep breath and answered.

"Yes," he said to her.

"Then I need you to allow me into your mind. I promise I won't read your thoughts, or look into your memories, or try to persuade you to do anything at all."

"Then what are you planning to do?"

"You'll see," She replied. "Trust me, and let me in, and we can work on the biggest of the issues we need to resolve."

"What exactly are we talking about here?" Tom asked.

"Well," she replied, "there is something that I think really needs to happen, and I'd rather it happen sooner than later."

"What is it?" Tom asked, starting to feel a little frustrated at the way she seemed to be dodging his questions.

"Well, that's the thing. I'd rather not discuss it, I'd rather just do it. So the question comes back to whether or not you trust that I know what I'm doing."

"You being all mysterious makes me nervous. I'm sure you know what you're doing, but it still makes me uncomfortable."

"But you do realize that there is a whole lot of uncomfortable that we have to deal with at some point, right? We've put it off for a while now. Don't get me wrong, I'm totally glad we did, it's given us the best weeks we've ever had. It's just that at some point we need to address some things. There is something that I need done. So, do you trust me?"

He hesitated. This was not how he wanted this night to go. But he also knew that she was right. They couldn't keep pretending that the book and her powers didn't exist. The last few weeks, particularly what happened with Kathy in Central Park, had convinced him that he really could trust Jessie. He was just going to have deal with the discomfort.

"Yes," he finally agreed. "I trust you. I'm highly confident you know what you're doing."

"Good. Then you will allow me inside your head with the restrictions I already agreed to?"

He simply nodded his consent.

"Good," she replied. "now close your eyes, just for a moment, please."

He closed his eyes, as she asked.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

Once again he nodded.

"Then you may open your eyes," a voice said from across the table. It came from where Jessie had been sitting, but it was

not

her voice. It was a woman's voice, but it was deeper, and huskier than Jessie's voice. It sounded like an older woman.

He opened his eyes.

"What the fuck?" He exclaimed as the shock of what he was seeing hit him.

Jessie was no longer sitting across the table from him. It was a different woman entirely.

And she was topless!

She had long, black hair, her skin was dark, not like someone of African descent, but more like someone from India. She had brown eyes, a thin face with a small, thin nose, and appeared to be wearing no makeup.

Her breasts were on display, quite a bit smaller than Jessie's, with a definite hint of sagginess, but not so much so as to be unattractive, with small, dark areolae and tiny little, dark red nubs for nipples.

"Hello, Tom," she said to him in her deeper, darker voice as she smiled at him, revealing teeth that were far from straight, and far from sparkling white.

"Jaleh?" he asked, competely shocked at seeing this topless woman sitting across from him in a public place.

"Yes," she said. "Jessie has asked me to spend the rest of the evening with you."

"You realize you can't just be topless in a restaurant in modern day New York City? You could actually be arrested for this."

"There is no need to be worried about that. As far as anyone else can see, you are still sitting across the table from Jessie, fully dressed, having a conversation over dinner."

"But how is this possible?" Tom asked.

"I am not able to make the type of modifications to Jessie's appearance that you are currently seeing. It isn't possible. This is why Jessie asked to be allowed access to your mind. I am able to alter your perceptions of reality enough that you believe you are seeing me instead of her. No one else will see what you are seeing, unless of course you wish me to alter their perceptions as well."

"I think it best we not let others see what I am seeing."

"As you wish," Jaleh responded.

"So you are messing with my head then?" He was not at all sure he was comfortable with that idea.

"The only thing I am allowed to do without your permission is to alter the way you see me to match my own image of what I looked like before I died. Jessie has asked that you give me permission to always alter those perceptions when I am talking to you, so that you always know if it is me that you are addressing."

"I am not sure I am comfortable with that," Tom admitted.

"I figured that is what you would say. Perhaps Jessie can convince you otherwise when she is back."

"Back? Back from where? Where exactly is she?"

"She is in a place where she no longer has access to her senses," Jaleh answered.

"You've locked her away again," Tom said, unable to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Oh, Ahura, no. I would never be capable of doing that again. She has willingly shut herself off from all sensory input."

"Why on earth would she do that?" Tom asked.

"I assume their are two reasons. One is that it has become a means of meditation for her, sort of the ultimate sensory deprivation chamber. She has asked me to take over simple functions periodically in the last few weeks to allow her to go into a deep meditation. She has found that when she willingly shuts herself off like that, it is quite reinvigorating."

"And the other reason?"

"So that she has no knowledge of what happens between the two of us. She explicitly asked me to make sure you knew that she would not be able to see, or hear, or - and she emphasized this one - feel what you choose to do with me."

"What do you mean by 'what I choose to do with you?'" Tom asked.

"I am under explicit instructions to do whatever it is you ask of me until morning."

"Until morning? Jessie is locking herself away until morning?" This was all seeming more and more infuriating to him.

"Ultimately it doesn't much matter. When you are blocked from all sensory input, it is hard to mark the passage of time. Minutes can seem like hours and hours can seem like minutes. She will be in deep meditation, resting her own psyche while you have full control over whatever happens to me until morning."

"God this is weird," Tom replied. "Let me ask you this. Why did you choose to be topless? Is this how you normally dressed back in your day?"

"I did not choose this. Jessie was adamant that I was to remain naked while I was with you."

"So you are not just topless then?" He asked

She shook her head.

"Why would she do all of this?" Tom asked.

"Can you really not see?" Jaleh replied.

"Not really," he admitted.

"Because, obviously, you and I have some unresolved issues. I did things to you that caused you a

lot

of pain. She wants you to address that. Like it or not, she and I are going to be together, likely until the day she dies. I will be a part of her, and you wish to marry her. If you wish to marry her, you and I must resolve our issues."

"And how do you propose we do that?" Tom asked.

"That isn't for me to decide," Jaleh responded. "I already told you that Jessie made it clear that you are my master tonight. I am to do whatever you ask of me, accept whatever punishment you choose to dole out, obey your every command. This is partly why she wishes you to see me instead of seeing her. She knew that if you saw her, you would hold back. She does not wish for you to hold back."

"She wants me to punish you for what you did to me.. to

us

."

"I have to assume that is why she made it clear that she would not

feel

anything that you choose to do."

"God this is fucked up," Tom declared.

"Perhaps," Jaleh suggested, "but she

does

have a point. If you have unresolved hatred towards me, then she can never really give herself to you fully, because I will

always

be a part of her - a part that you despise."

"Well," Tom replied, "we are not going to do anything here in this restaurant, so I think it is best that we walk home. That will give me some time to think about how I am going to deal with all of this."

"As you wish, master," Jaleh said, standing up and giving Tom a view of her mound of dark black pubic hair and giving him a better look at her body, which was quite thin. As she stepped out from behind the table, he caught sight of what was a very small, tight ass, that was really quite lovely.

They walked home in silence, while Tom contemplated what he was going to do with her. As much as he knew that no one else could see the naked woman walking down the street with him, it still felt incredibly bizarre to be walking down a crowded street in New York City, seeing the slender naked body of a dark skinned woman at his side.

When they got into the apartment, Jaleh spoke.

"Excuse me a moment while I go and actually remove Jessie's clothes. Should you choose to touch me while Jessie is still dressed, it will be virtually impossible for me to deal with the cognitive dissonance between what your eyes are seeing and what your hands are feeling."

She stepped into the bedroom for a few minutes, and came back out a little while later. She looked the same to him, but he had to assume that the

real

Jessie was actually naked as well.

"So you are my slave, then?" Tom asked.

"Effectively, yes, master."

"And the fact that you are to remain naked would imply that you should be considered a sexual slave?" Tom asked.

"If that is what you wish, master. I have to assume madam considered it or she wouldn't have insisted that I wear no clothes unless you instruct me otherwise."

"But why?" Tom asked.

"Of that I have no knowledge, master. I have told you all of the instructions that Jessie gave me."

"So, you would do nothing to stop me if I decided to punish you? You wouldn't use your powers against me to try to control my actions?"

"I have no powers," Jaleh responded. "I can only access Madam's powers as she sees fit. Tonight I am only allowed to do what you ask of me, so I am incapable of opposing whatever it is you decide to do."

"You know that I have every reason I could ever need to punish you."

"Yes, Master. I likely would deserve nearly anything you chose to do to me," she responded.

"And that doesn't frighten you?" Tom asked.

She shrugged. It was just the way Jessie would have done it, a small reminder that this woman who was naked before him was connected to his girlfriend.

"I must accept the consequences of my actions. Of course, I must assume you realize that, even though Jessie has shut herself off so that she cannot feel whatever it is you choose to do to me, she will inhabit this body in the morning, so I believe it is unlikely you would do anything of a lasting nature."

Tom thought about the reasons that Jessie would do this. He certainly understood why she didn't want to talk about it first. He would never have agreed to this had they discussed it first.

"So," he finally said, "it would seem, based on what Jessie has set up here, that she wants us to have it out. She wants me to take out all my frustrations on you for what you did to me... to us, really. And then she wants us to have makeup sex so that we can get past it all." Tom concluded.

"I think that is a fair assessment. She was confident in your ability to understand what it was you needed to do."

"But I don't think I can do it," he admitted.

"I am not sure that there is much choice in the matter. I will be a part of her from now on. If you do not come to terms with me being a part of her, she does not believe she can ever accept your proposal of marriage."

"But," he muttered "but it's too much,"

"Of course it is. So let it out. Stop bottling up the pain and let it go."

There was a long pause as Tom contemplated what he was going to do. Then he began to think about how bad it hurt him when he watched Jessie destroying her life and her relationship with him. He thought about how much it hurt when Jaleh gave him their engagement ring back and sent him on his way. He began to feel the anger welling within him.

"You almost ruined our relationship!" He shouted. "What gave you the right to do such a thing!"

"Nothing," Jaleh answered, "But I was used to being queen, to having powers that would make it so I could do whatever I wanted. Feeling Jessie's powers rekindled those desires in me and gave me a way to act on my fears."

"Your fears?" Tom asked.

"You must understand that Madam has powers unlike any the world has seen in the five thousand years that Hamid and I have existed. It's quite possible she has greater power than anyone the world has ever seen. If I had powers like that when I was alive I would have subjugated or destroyed all my rivals. I feared that she would be more like me, and less like Hamid. But possibly more than that, I feared you."

"Me," he said angrily, "how could you possibly fear me?"

"Because of the power you held over her. If you had asked her to destroy the book, she would have done it in a heartbeat, even if it meant losing all her memories and all her abilities. That was unimaginable to me, but she already demonstrated her willingness to do

exactly

that. We humans always fear most that which we can't understand."

"So you wanted me removed from the picture?" Tom said, the anger in his voice rising.

"Yes. It seemed the safest thing to do."

"Cold, calculated and cruel. Destroy other's lives because you can't understand them?"

"More or less, yes."

As he listened to her, he got more and more angry. How could she have done this when she admitted she already knew how much they meant to each other? His anger spilled over, and he walked over and grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her over to the couch. He sat and pulled her down across his lap. For the briefest of seconds he marveled at how lovely the naked ass was in front of him. And then he did the only thing he could think to do. He opened his hand, raised it above his head and brought it down as hard as he could against that beautiful brown ass.

Smack!

"Unngh," Jaleh winced at the pain of it. That only seemed to spur him on.

"You!"

Smack!

"Had!"

Smack!

"No!"

Smack!

"Fucking!"

Smack!

"Right!"

Smack!

"What we had,"

Smack, smack, smack!

"Was so good!"

Smack, smack, smack, smack!

He lost count of the number of times he spanked her, but soon enough her ass was a deep shade of red, and he began to see marks where the skin seemed about to break. Suddenly he remembered that Jessie would be back in that body in the morning. It was the only thing capable of making him stay his hand.

Suddenly, he had another thought.

He stood her up and pushed down until she was kneeling on the floor in front of the couch. He sat so that he was right in front of her, his face inches from hers. He ignored the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Jessie tells me you are really good at seeing inside of people. Is that true?"

"Yes, Master. I don't believe many, if any, have been better. It was my one skill. I mastered it."

"Can you do more than see what's inside? Can you feel what they feel? What they felt in the past, in their memories?" Tom asked her.

"Yes," she replied.

"Then I want you to go inside my head. I want you to find the first day I met Jessie. I want you to feel how I felt when I saw her for the first time."

For a few moments, there was silence as Jaleh went into his memories.

"Oh, you liked her from the first moment you saw her, didn't you?" Jaleh said with a smile.

"I was

obsessed

with her from the first moment I saw her. I could think of no one else I wanted to spend time with."

"You naughty boy," she said, "I can see

exactly

what kind of time you most wanted to spend with her. You were thinking about what she would look like naked as soon as you met her."

"I was a college age kid," he said, unable to prevent his own little smile seeing the mischievous look on Jaleh's face, "what do you expect? Now, can you tell which memories are the most significant ones for me?"

"Yes. They are easy to pick out," she replied.

"Then I want you to go through and pick out the most important ones through the years we were together, and for each one I want you to feel how I felt for her. I want you to experience how my feelings for her grew and changed over time."

He waited for her to spend some time examining his memories.

"I see," she said. "You began to care less and less about all those wicked things you wanted to do to her and more and more about what she wanted."

"Look closer. Did the lustful desires ever really subside?"

"No," Jaleh answered after several moments, "you're right. They were still as strong as always. It was just that the other feelings got stronger."

"I want you to see how long I wished for a romantic relationship and how long I sacrificed those desires for her, but only so you can see how it changed my feelings for her. The more I sacrificed what I wanted for her, the more I loved her. I want you to feel how much I loved her right before she found the book."