Author's note
This is a long chapter, perhaps the longest I have written. There is so much that I wanted to cover here that I thought all belonged together, while also sprinkling a little sex in for some distraction from the weightier things. I usually try to keep chapters shorter than this, so my apologies, I had a lot of loose ends to pull together here. I hope it's not too much.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" He asked as he looked down into her eyes.
She was in the boudoir again, laying on her back on the bed and Hamid was once again penetrating deep inside of her.
But there was a difference. Her experiences had taught her that it was her own mind that created the images of things inside the realm of consciousness and inside the book. It was why she had, subconsciously, made Hamid look a lot like Ethan. The sensations she felt in her interactions with the book had reminded her of her night with Ethan, so her mind created an avatar for Hamid that looked a lot like Ethan.
This understanding was reiterated when she observed the differences in the world that Ethan created to represent the experience of being in the metaphysical realm. He created a world that looked quite different from the one she had created for herself.
It was a reminder to her that she could make the world inside the book, and Hamid himself, look anyway she wanted.
So she chose a different avatar for Hamid. She left the boudoir the same as a reminder that it wasn't real, but everything about Hamid she had modeled after someone else, down to the last detail.
Hamid thrust deeply inside of her, making her feel every inch of his long, thick cock, thrusting deep into her fornix. Very ... very deep.
OK.
That was the
one
detail she hadn't changed. She needed that cock size to stay the same. It wasn't like Tom had a small cock, he was actually slighly bigger than average, but Ethan's cock, and by extension Hamid's cock, filled her
so
much better.
"You couldn't give up this, though, could you?" Hamid said and he once again thrust that magnificent shaft deep, deep inside of her.
"It was my one conceit," Jessie said with a smile.
"How would he feel if he knew you wished he had a bigger cock?" Hamid said, chuckling as he pounded her hard and deep.
"I won't tell if you don't," she replied. "although I'd gladly give up this cock forever if it meant getting him back."
"Which brings me back to the original question, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"No," she said, more seriously, "it probably isn't, I just miss him so much, I couldn't help myself."
"Well, I can't change how you choose to make me look, but I probably wouldn't have recommended this."
"Just shut up and fuck me," she said.
Once again, he entered her head instead of speaking to her.
-I think it's time you remember your place, little one. You can give me any face you wish to give me, but if you wish for me to keep fucking you, you're going to have to submit to my wishes.-
-yes, master, sorry master-
Hamid, still looking very much like Tom, pulled away from Jessie and sat back on the bed.
"I think," he said with a sigh, "that I will not give you the fucking you so desire this time. Perhaps this will help you to be more mindful of our arrangement next time you visit?"
"Yes master. Sorry master," Jessie declared.
"However," he replied, "I see no compelling reason for me to be left unsatisfied. Do you?"
"No master," she answered, her head down.
-Then come take my cock down that lovely throat, little one-
-yes master-
She moved over until she was kneeling in front of him, and with practiced ease took Hamid's cock down into her throat, humming gently to increase the stimulation of his cock with her vocal chords.
-That's it, little one. Give me the pleasure you are to be denied. Next time, when you arrive, i expect you to be tied up, blindfolded, face down on the bed so that I can use you as I see fit-
-yes master-
Jessie stood in the structure that represented the consciousness of the book. In all her trips into the book, she had never attempted to look directly into this place, with the exception of a brief moment during her battle with Jaleh.
Unlike being inside a person's consciousness, which always appeared to her like a dome with tendrils representing thoughts, senses, emotions, and memories connecting from the edges of the dome to points along the floor, the book appeared more like a massive renaissance cathedral with the various chapels being composed of separate, smaller domes.
The two largest domes stood opposite each other, with a dozen smaller domes arrayed in two semicircles between these two ends.
It was still blindingly bright inside of this structure, due to the massive amounts of energy Jessie had been feeding into book because of her inability to understand and control these energy flows.
She had been drawing on this energy reserve to maintain her long distance conversations with Ethan, but she also took every opportunity she could to feed any spare energy she had back into the book in order to maintain it as an incredible resource of energy.
There was one exception to the incredible brightness of the overall structure. It was the dome which stood opposite of Hamid's dome. This dome stood completely dark. It was, in fact, impossibly dark. The rest of the structure was so bright that it would have easily filled this dome with light as well, but the light around it simply didn't enter into this dome at all.
Jessie
knew
as she stared into this darkness what that meant. She searched inside of herself to find the place where she had locked Jaleh away, and searched for signs of her threads. Those threads had been left disconnected from all sensory input, but they were still there, still visible, but even more cold and dark and lifeless than Tom's threads were to her.
More importantly, there were no threads that connected Jaleh to the book in
any
way.
She thought back to the beginning of her battle with Jaleh, when she had first come into the book and noticed the path of energy that Jaleh was feeding on. In her anger and haste, she had reached out and destroyed that path of energy, to keep Jaleh from arming herself with even more energy.
In that moment, Jessie finally realized what she had done. Hamid had begged her not to do anything that couldn't be undone. But had it already been too late?
She sat across the table from him. It was a small wooden table in a small room with a dirt floor. The walls were framed with rough cut lumber and filled with a mixture of straw and clay. It was as close a representation as she could make to the actual 'throne room' that Hamid used to conduct the business of his empire. The Hamid that sat across from her bore no resemblance to principal Skinner, Ethan, or Tom, but was instead drawn from the memories she had recently extracted from the essences of the concubines found in the book. She wanted to make him as real as she could possibly make him.
He looked at her and smiled. Smiling was the last thing she thought she could do.
"You know this method of communication is no longer necessary, Jessie," he said to her, "although I appreciate the attention to detail this time around."
"Yes," she said, only barely able to keep from sobbing in front of him. "I know I don't need it in order to access information. But I do need it for other reasons."
"And what are those?" He said, the smile still on his face.
How could he sit there and smile at her?
"Because I cannot offer a proper apology without looking you in the eyes."
"Even if those eyes were fabricated solely for your benefit?" He said, his smile growing even bigger. There was mirth in those eyes. She could not fathom how he could be so calm and content when she felt so absolutely devastated?
She just shrugged at him.
"It is important to me," she explained.
"And by extension," he said, "it holds much more import to me as well. But there is no need for apologies, Jessie. Nor is there a need for the sorrow in your heart."
"Yes," she said, the tears flowing down her face freely now, "there is. I cut her off, didn't I? Completely! From you, from the book, from everything you planned for her. You asked me not to do anything that couldn't be undone, but I'd already done it, hadnt I?"
No sooner were the words out of her mouth than she began to sob almost uncontrollably.
"Ah," he said, "that. It is very regrettable, no doubt. But it is no more your fault than it is mine or Tom's or your grandfather's. Jaleh, in her fear and usual impetuousness did something she never should have done, withdrawing herself completely from the book. We all must deal with the consequences of those actions, but those consequences lie solely on her head, and on no one else, especially not you."
"How can you say that?" She asked through tears. "I was the one who cut her off!"
"No," he said sternly "you acted in self defense, trying to save yourself from Jaleh's control because she did everything in her power to convince you that she held all the power. Jaleh knowingly did multiple things that she
never
should have done. First, she
never
should have used your inexperience to convince you to give her control in the first place. Second, she
never
should have cut you off the way she did to falsely give you the impression of being powerless, again feeding on your lack of knowledge and experience. Third, she
never