Author's Note:
As I began to rewrite this story, I needed to come up with a reason for Jessie to have suppressed memories around her interactions with the book. I decided it would be much harder for these suppressed memories to be explained away if they happened in adulthood, so I tied them to a time when she was underage. I fully agree with Literotica's position that eroticizing underage sex is wrong. I do want readers to understand who Jessie was before she first encountered the book at age 11. The forum rules allow characters to look back and mention things that happened to them when they were underage as long as they do not attempt to describe those events in any erotic context. The next chapters are about Jessie looking back on memories that happened before she first encountered the book. There will be
NO
descriptions of any of the activities that took place, but she will discover that certain things happened that will make her understand why she ended up leaving school and living with Gramps, and help her to more fully understand who she really is.
-This is the earliest relatable memory I can find, little one-
Jessie was on the bed in the boudoir, and Jaleh was straddling her head, bringing herself pleasure on Jessie's mouth. She had come into the book to get help accessing the memories of her childhood that she had forgotten for so many years. Those memories had somehow been tied into the book itself, meaning she could only access them by interacting with the book. Jessie noticed a difference in the power dynamic between her and Jaleh in the book vs inside Jessie's head. Jaleh was clearly fully in control inside rhe book, whereas they felt much more like equals inside her own head. She only noticed it in passing, or she might have realized that Jaleh really only had the power that Jessie assigned to her inside of her own mind.
In an instant she was transported to another room, which she recognized as the room she lived in as a teenager. Except that it was different. The furniture was different. The walls were painted pink. There were pictures of horses all over the walls.
She looked and there was a young boy sitting across from her on the other side of a miniature table set up as though he and Jessie and a couple of stuffed animals were having a tea party.
She remembered thinking about a conversation she'd had earlier with one of her friends. They had wondered exactly how boys were physically different from girls. As she was thinking about this, she reached out and touched the boy's hand. She noticed there was a flow of energy that left her skin and went into his as she was thinking about that conversation she'd had with her friend. The boy looked up at her and smiled.
"I can show you," he said, standing up. Jessie had not said a word to him about what she was thinking about. The boy had simply responded to her thoughts when she had touched his hand.
Jessie's mom had walked into the room and discovered them a little while later.
"Jessica Anne Murray," her mom said rather loudly, "what in the world do you think you are doing?"
She immediately felt the firm grip of her mother's hand on her shoulder and then she was rapidly and firmly, although not roughly, pulled away from her position in front of the boy. Her mom removed her rather quickly from the room. Peter - Jessie had suddenly remembered that was his name - came out of the room a little bit later.
"Why don't you run on in to the kitchen," her Mom said to him, "and try one of the cookies I just pulled out of the oven."
Her mom took Jessie back into the bedroom and closed the door and then proceeded to tell Jessie exactly what she thought about what she had just witnessed. She didn't yell at her, but her voice was full of intensity and the wording left no doubt in Jessie's mind that her mother did not approve of what had happened.
As she followed her mom out of the bedroom to go see about the cookies she could smell from the kitchen, she remembered thinking she would have to be much more careful the next time.
Jessie awoke to find herself lying on her bed in her apartment. It had been the shortest excursion into the book she had ever taken, but she found herself completely drained of energy. Not nearly as bad as the night with Tom when she'd had a vision of the host from the restaurant, but more so than she could remember from her other encounters.
-Yes, I told you it was going to be a difficult process-
-The boy in my memory, I made him respond to my thoughts, didn't I?-
-Indeed, you did-
-I've always been able to do that, then? Even before I found the book?-
-Yes. Hamid tried to get you to see that, but you were convinced the book was somehow giving you this power to use you for our own purposes-
-I'm sorry that I misunderstood so badly-
-You have no need to be sorry. It is understandable given the circumstances-
-So I am like you and Hamid? A magi?-
-Indeed, for only a Magi can interact with the book that Hamid wrote. This is also something Hamid tried to make clear to you.-
-I am sampradaTa then. I have always been able to transmit my thoughts to others?-
-You still do not understand. SampradaTa transmit energy. Thoughts and desires and ideas are simply a part of that energy flow. SaMpadyate receive energy. In that energy can be found all the same things that the sampradaTa can transmit. Only the dvaitavAda can do both-
Jessie immediately understood what Jaleh was saying. She had already experienced her ability to both transmit
and
receive energy. The first thing she discovered after finding the book was her ability to "push" her thoughts into others heads while touching them. This was a transmission of energy from herself into others. She also quickly discovered that she could feed on the energy of others by having sex with them. She drained their energy and replenished her own without really even trying.
She had so far only known how to transmit thoughts and emotions, and had only known how to receive raw energy, but the simple fact was that she could both transmit and receive. She was dvaitavAda! Suddenly a thought occurred to her.
-My powers have always been my own, haven't they? Neither you nor the book have ever granted me any power at all?-
-No, the book has not given you any powers at all. I can only access the powers that you already possess-
-So when you took control in Paris, all the things you did were using powers that already belonged to me?-
-Of course. It is what Hamid tried to get you to understand all along. All of what I did in Paris was only possible because of your powers. I am only a saMpadyate, a very powerful one, but only capable of reading others, not pushing thoughts into their minds. It was only because you are dvaitavAda that I was able to do all that I did in Paris.-
-How many dvaitavAda have you encountered since the book was created?-
-DvaitavAda are extremely rare.-
-How many?-
-You are the first. There have been others, of course, but none with powers strong enough to draw the book to them-