"I can't believe he's gone," Jessie Murray said between sobs as she sat on the floor of her apartment.
"I know," Tom said as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
She laid her head against his chest and sobbed. Gramps was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. It hurt so bad. Perhaps even more than when her dad had died on 9/11.
"That's it," Tom said soothingly. "Let it out, it's okay to grieve his loss."
In that moment, she felt as though she would never be able to do anythingΒ but grieve his loss.
Gramps had saved her. There were no two ways about it.
She had a troubled childhood, and when she had been expelled from school, her parents had to either homeschool her, or put her in a private school somewhere. Private school would have been an easy choice, since both her parents worked, and they certainly had the money to afford a private school, but in truth they were afraid that sending her back to school would just get her expelled yet again.
Looking back, Jessie was surprised that she had no memories of what she had done that had caused her to be expelled in the first place. Her family never spoke of it. Gramps never talked to her about it. She could only remember her life
after
she had gone to live with him.
He had suggested a change of scenery might be in order. He was retired and looking for things to do anyway. If she moved in with him, he could homeschool her. Perhaps a little time away from her peers would allow her to refocus and learn how to avoid the troubles she had been in. So, she had moved in with him, and he had rescued her and changed her life. And now, he was gone.
She looked around the apartment. It was packed with plastic storage bins. They were everywhere, filling nearly every empty space in the apartment in stacks four high, reminding her of the glue that bonded her to her grandfather for the years she spent at his house.
"He loved these books," she said with a sigh.
"And he knew that you loved them as much as him," Tom agreed.
He had taught her to love books. Every day in his home was spent either reading books or discussing what they had taught her. He taught her to devour them, searching for meaning, applying everything she read to her own life and circumstances, looking for ways that her newly acquired knowledge could make her a better person. It instilled in her an insatiable desire to learn. When she left his house and enrolled in school again, she was transformed. She studied hard and applied herself to everything she did with a laser like focus.
She was the valedictorian of her graduating class, having never received any grade other than an A from that point on. It was a far cry from the 5th grader who had been in and out of multiple schools, and who was almost constantly in some kind of trouble. She went on to graduate summa cum laude from Columbia and to get a masters degree in architecture. It was no lie to say that Gramps and his books had completely changed the course of her life.
No one else in the family shared his obsession with these books, which, she was sure, was why he had chosen to give them all to her.
"How many can I keep?" She asked her boyfriend as he continued to comfort her while they sat together on the floor of their modest one bedroom apartment.
He shrugged, looking around. The bins took up almost the entire apartment.
"I will make you a bookshelf when we get a bigger apartment," he said. "As tall as we can make fit. You can fill it with books at that point. In this place, however ..." he shrugged again. "Why don't you go through a few bins and pick out a dozen or two that remind you of him. We can always go back to the storage place and get more, or swap some out later."
He stood and helped her up and pulled her into a big hug, then gave her a tender kiss on the lips.
"I am so sorry," he whispered to her. "James was an amazing man. We will all miss him."
He made his way to the kitchen. "Care for a beer?" He asked.
"Yes please," she replied. She pulled the top bin off the stack and set it on the floor closest to her and opened it up. The first book she saw was
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
. She almost broke down right there. She had loved that book. It had taught her that the stereotypes that are so ingrained in our society are often wrong, and that we have been trained to accept them even when all evidence teaches us that we shouldn't.
"Don't forget we're meeting your family for dinner tonight," Tom said as he handed her the cold beer from the fridge.
Shit!
She
had
forgotten. The last week had been so crazy she had entirely forgotten what day it was. It was her 25th birthday. She and Tom were supposed to be in Paris. They had saved up for a long time to afford that trip. She got the vibe from Tom that he may have been thinking about proposing to her on the trip, perhaps even on her birthday. Maybe that's what he would have been doing right then if Gramps hadn't hadn't had a massive heart attack two days before they were scheduled to leave.
The airline was very understanding and gave them credit for another trip in the future. They had postponed the trip. The week had instead been filled with preparing for and attending his funeral. It had ended with them sitting in a law office in Manhattan listening to an overweight lawyer read James Stringer's last will and testament.
Gramps had chosen to sell nearly everything at an estate auction, with the proceeds being donated to charity. He had made sure to teach his kids the value of hard work and a good education. None of his kids had any need for his money, so he wanted everything to go to charity. He had always said he didn't want his children and grandchildren fighting over his stuff when he died. He carefully picked items to give to each of his children and grandchildren that he felt they would remember him by, which is how Jessie ended up with his large collection of books. Most of them had little monetary value, but they had represented her connection to him, and had been the objects that had rescued her from her troubled past.