Part Twenty-Six: Multiple Choice Tests
I cleared my throat. "This has been one heck of a ride, I have to say. Sometimes I wasn't entirely sure we were going to make it. Or at least that you were going to make it with me." I paused for the ensuing mild laughter. "We didn't always make it easy on each other, did we? That's good though. Anybody can do easy. Yet here you are, and we're gonna do this thing. I'm excited to see how you handle it, truly, but whatever you do I know is going to be great.
I took a long breath and made it a point to assert eye contact. "Now I don't say this easily. Or often. And I don't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything either, but... so you know, I care about you a lot, and I loved being with you. Giggle if you have to, yeah yeah, old Mr. Canon's some kind of simp. (Am I using that right? From your expression, I'm guessing no.) Anyway, whatever, I said it, and I'm not taking it back. You're great, and I hope I didn't permanently corrupt you in our time together.
"All right, mushy stuff out of the way. Who's ready to take their last high school English test?"
It was a mixed chorus of feigned enthusiasm and sincere disgruntlement, but I loved them for it all the same. I'd had great kids this year, with a few notable exceptions, and I hoped to have a lot of these juniors back in senior English next year. (For a couple, I wasn't even dreading having them back for a second crack at junior English.)
I distributed the exams and explained the various sections, trying to keep the class from starting early and ignoring my instructions. They did, after all, have over two hours to finish the thing, and I expected that most would be done with ample time to spare. Once I explained the essay selection process for the final section, I had everyone take a nice, deep breath, then set them loose.
Only one in my whole first period had forgotten a pencil on finals day, an improvement over their first semester exam back in December when I'd needed four. Progress, I supposed. After making sure everybody was set and ready, I made my way back to my desk and settled in, rubbing bleary eyes and taking another long sip of coffee. This was going to be the longest couple hours of the next two days, barring any more fitful nights like last.
I had managed to finish my backlog of grading the night before, an escape from the libidinous nonsense my brain had been trying to fixate on. Grades were entered, and since I'd arrived at school at the crack of dawn, all assignments were now filed in students' folders for returning. Most probably wouldn't bother checking them anyway, but for the few who would, I felt obligated. It was my own fault I'd fallen so far behind this past month (though there was ample competition for an assist on that score), but for now, I actually had no more work to do until those exams were back in my hands. When second period arrived in a couple hours, I'd give another speech, hand out another exam, but then first period exams would give me something to do while they worked. For now, it was only me and my old friend finals week exhaustion.
I really was tired, too. Those dreams had been intense, but they'd made damn sure my heart was too active for any quality sleep to occur. To keep myself busy, I started going through days of backed up mail from my school slot. That took almost six minutes. I tidied up my desk quietly so as not to disrupt the exam. That took four. Email was a more generous twenty. Short of tidying up the room itself, which would be way too disruptive, I was out of distractions.
Social media was blocked by the school internet server (plus it was pretty hypocritical to chastise them so many times for being distracted by it if I was going to do the same), so that was out. My work laptop was a simple machine, but it had a browser. Out of options, I pulled up a news site and started catching up on the world. Not surprisingly, it seemed little had improved.
I was in the middle of an article on summer travel trends when I fell asleep at my desk.
The second worst thing was that when you fall asleep sitting upright, in a place you know you shouldn't fall asleep in, you wake up in that moment where your chin slipped off your fist and you have that tenth of a second falling dream. Even if you had managed to escape notice dozing off, your sudden jolt to consciousness cannot be missed.
The worst thing, of course, was that I fell asleep in the middle of a final exam.
For over an hour.
"Ummmgbummng!" I stammered as I started myself awake.
Laughter rippled through the room. "Morning, Mr. Canon," said Kaya. "Partying hard last night?"
"Um, no talking during, um..." I shook my head. No sense trying to be strict at this point. "Sorry, gang. That was unprofessional. Been up late, um, grading, and..." I yawned in spite of my best efforts. So much for good last impressions. "Anyway, I'm so sorry. Did anybody need anything? Have questions?"
Kennedy explained that she'd already quietly worked out a system for handing in the tests, one stack for exams, one for scantrons, one for the essays. Perfectly handled. Sure enough, a half dozen or so kids had indeed been banking questions for me, which I busily answered. I assigned myself a seat at the stool in the front of the room. High as it was, the thing always made me a little nervous sitting on it to begin with. No chance of a repeat here.
Then I remembered that time I'd had to reprimand Taylor for trying to sit on it with a short dress on. That girl's exhibitionist streak would have been a lot more appealing in almost any other context than a room full of students.
Oh fine, so it was actually even more appealing in the classroom. Nothing wrong with admitting it. Still, I'd learned my lesson, both about displays of sexuality in the classroom, and about Taylor Stern. I was done with both.
What color had her panties been that day with the tantrum over the stool?
It didn't matter.
First period ended for the final time. A number of my kids came over to high five me or in a few cases share a quick hug. Several jokes were cracked at my expense over the napping, but nothing really mean-spirited. Roberto was still working, hand scribbling furiously, but passing periods were extended to ten minutes during finals week so I shut up and let him keep going. With three minutes to go, he suddenly darted across the room and slapped his test materials on their stacks and barked a quick "have a good summer, Mr. C!" on his way out the door.
Second period was seniors; they got a slightly more flowery speech, but otherwise it was the same drill. I drank in the surprised, perplexed, and intrigued expressions as they read through the essay question options. It was a stark contrast to the shame from first period's nap snafu, seeing those bright, determined faces mulling things over, grinning with determined cleverness.
The schedule being what it was, they were given a break in the middle for lunch. Teachers had complained about the possibility of students using the down time to look up answers or discuss the exam with friends, but as my mentor had taught me during my student teaching, no test ever enriched a life, but a hot meal just might. I made sure nothing left the classroom, but otherwise, if they wanted to talk about books and ideas and writing techniques, I was all for it.
I was just laying my head down on my desk to try to squeeze in another power nap during my own lunch when the door swung open.
"Mr. Canon? Do you have a minute?"
I sat up, stretched. "Sure, Tabitha. What's on your mind."
"You look..."
Like hell
, I thought. And she thought. But tactfully, she finished, "... tired."
"Mm. Long night."
The girl gently closed the door before her. She was a vision today. Clearly she had spent some time on hair and makeup this morning, volume and accents enhancing her natural beauty. Her outfit was a simple heathered cotton dress in a cream color even fairer than her complexion, hanging straight down off her shoulders to mid-thigh, coupled with a pair of strappy sandals. She looked amazing, even if not in the same porno-mag way that Taylor had shot for yesterday. Wholesomeness and fuckability combined in the vision entering my room.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
