Part Twelve: Additional Responsibilities As Assigned
"You stood me up yesterday."
It was Friday during the last passing period of the day, in between my senior English and prep period. All teachers were expected to conduct hall duty during these transitions, keeping an eye on the students and keeping them from dawdling overmuch. Most days, I skipped this obligation during this time and went right from Taylor's class into my prep, closing the door behind them and heaving a sigh of relief. Today, however, I was in a good mood. A comparatively easy week professionally thanks to Pixar, and indubitably the best week of my life personally. Sexually anyway. I had plenty of time to decide if there ought to be a distinction between the categories before I sat down to write my best-selling and very anonymous memoirs. I had pretty much floated out into the hallway after class, wishing my students a great weekend and high-fiving Patrice for her leadership in our discussion. It had been a fine note to end the week on. That young woman was going places.
Taylor, however, was not, at least not since I dismissed her class. She was lurking in the doorway of my classroom, speaking to me over my shoulder and frankly startling the crap out of me.
"I... oh, crap, you're right. I'm so sorry. I had some things to take care of after school," (where by "things" I meant "neighbors" and "take care of" I meant "fill them with cum,") "and I forgot all about it. Crud."
"Yeah. Cool. While you were out having fun, I got that stupid essay done. The one you said I cheated on." She thrust a stack of papers into my hand.
"Oh yeah? Well first, good on you. I'll look it over during seventh and we can talk about it after school. Second, really? No staple, nothing? And third, you
did
cheat, so maybe lose the indignant act."
"You got a stapler." She brushed past me and went into the halls. I almost remembered before she rounded the corner that in the building, I wasn't allowed to stare at her ass, no matter how good it looked in those pink denim shorts.
The essay was an improvement, at least in that it hadn't been plagiarized. The assignment had been fairly broad. As I'd phrased it on the assignment sheet, they were to identify something that people often think about wrongly and explain why they're wrong and what they need to do differently. It was an exercise in critical consciousness, inviting them to channel their personal frustrations with an issue, attempt to understand why the world was the way it was, and look for ways to change it. It got all sorts of perspectives, from the usual clichΓ© pro- and anti-choice diatribes, to local topics like the lopsided support for girls athletics, current events like defunding the police, and for a few, more risquΓ© subjects like arming teachers. (Lucky for Oscar I graded his essay before I gained the benefit of all this anecdotal evidence to prejudice me further against letting people like me bring dangerous objects into the building.)
Taylor's first go had been something I'd seen dozens of times, a call to legalize marijuana. Like most of the others who'd picked the topic over the years, she'd doubtless assumed that forcing me to read it would be a satisfying opportunity to stick it to the man. Unlike the others, however, she'd let someone else do her thinking for her, and thus way lead onto way until we landed ourselves in this whole Serenex situation.
This time...
"Taylor, what in the flying hell is this." I threw her essay down on her desktop once she'd settled into place for our after school rendezvous.
"What? I thought you of all people would like it." She folded her arms smugly.
I tilted my head, reading her title aloud. "'Why teachers who fuck their students should be granted clemency.' Jesus, Taylor. I hardly know where to begin with this. Your lack of candor here... I'm at a loss! What if someone had seen you writing that?"
"Nobody did."
"Oh yeah? What if someone had walked up to the printer while you were printing? What if you got absorbed in what you were writing and someone snuck up on you, read over your shoulder. Then you brought it to class -- what if it had fallen out of your backpack, or... damnit, Taylor, all it would take is someone seeing that top line to blow the lid off everything!"
"Oh, come on. It doesn't even mention your name until the third paragraph. You're paranoid, C-dawg."
"As we both damn well should be!" Flabbergasted, I snatched the paper up again, but didn't know what to do with it. My fingers reflexively crumpled it a bit, then slapped it back down in front of her. "Poor judgment Do you mind explaining why you decided to write it in the first place? Even if I took the paper on its merit, you'd still get an F."
Her jaw dropped. "An F? What the fuck for?!"
"Language, Taylor. This is still my classroom. And why? You really have to ask why?" I ticked the reasons off on my fingers. "It's unsourced. It's vulgar. It's satirical. You had an audience of one and you set out to antagonize them!"
"Bullsh-- crap. How did I 'antagonize' you?"
"You compared me to Kevin Spacey!"
"No, I compared you to Kevin Spacey in
American Beauty
. Where he fucks that flat-chested blonde bitch. That guy is awesome. Or he was, once he quit being such a little pussy. I would fuck that guy."
"Bad news for you, then. Kevin Spacey is gay, and I'm pretty sure he's living in a hole somewhere with his mother. And why do you even know that movie? That came out before you were born."
"You do know you're like eight years older than me, right? So if it was before I was born, you were what, five? Just switch on over from Blues Clues to watching some suburban dad get stoned and fuck cheerleaders?"