CHAPTER FOUR: DANCE, DANCE
Christmas came and went, and still no one knew where Zack's father had gone. I was constantly amazed by Zack's nonchalance. There was almost no difference in his behavior even though he was now working nearly forty hours a week and also making sure his younger brother and sisters made it to school on time since his mother worked the night shift. Of course, we all did what we could for him, but any form of help made him uncomfortable, so it wasn't much.
I wish I could say that the problems he had to face ended my fascinated with him. If anything, it was worse now than ever. The sheer intensity of his physical presence drew me inexorably.
Today was no exception. The class was working on an independent writing assignment, and Zack was staring absently at the wall. He toyed with the class ring dangling from a chain around his neck, and the unconscious movements of his fingers entranced me. It seemed grossly unfair that he could have that kind of power over me, especially since it had been a long time since he had even jokingly made a pass at me. I sighed.
He detected my gaze and looked at me, then shook himself and returned to the work at hand. And speaking of hands, I abruptly realized that he wasn't wearing his class ring on his finger. The one around his neck wasn't his either. It was a girl's.
I was mortified by the pang of jealousy that stabbed through me. To my own annoyance, I spent the rest of the class period asking myself ridiculous questions, questions about who she was and how long he had been seeing her. I halfway hoped it would be someone I approved of, although I doubted that was remotely possible.
I didn't have to wonder for long. He stopped by after class especially to inform me that he had a girlfriend named Jenn, and they had gotten together that weekend. I couldn't repress a smile at his innocent excitement, and it occurred to me that she might actually be his first girlfriend. His happiness was contagious, and even though my jealousy was far from nonexistent, I was glad that he had something to be happy about.
**********
That gladness evaporated almost instantly a few weeks later when he announced to Chuck, "Jenn and I had a REALLY good time last night."
Zack's hair was rumpled and his eyes wore that drowsy expression that always sped my pulse up. There was a languor over him mixed with an arrogant swagger that told me exactly what kind of good time he and Jenn must have had. It was ridiculous, but I felt an insane urge to find Jenn, whoever she was, and beat the hell out of her.
Chuck listened to Zack, but it was with a kind of amused indulgence. Chuck's sense of humor, friendliness, and good looks made him popular with the girls his age, and Zack wasn't telling him anything Chuck hadn't already known for years.
Zack caught me staring at him, and he grinned with that spark of mischief. "Don't worry, Miss Martin, there's plenty to go around."
A vivid image of him on top of me took possession of my senses. I found myself staring at Imaginary Naked Zack, a flush creeping over my body. It was at that exact moment that I happened to notice that Actual Zack had a new hole in his jeans, a huge one right in the middle of his crotch. "I'm sure there is," I muttered before I could stop myself.
He raised an eyebrow, but I tried to cover for myself before he could call me on what I said. "If by 'around' you mean around to doing your work so that you can graduate."
I could tell the battle wasn't really over. I gave the class a group assignment and gave them time to work as I floated between groups to help when they needed it. My back was to Zack and Chuck's group when I heard Zack's maddening voice. "I heard this woman on TV last night who got arrested for sleeping with one of her students. I wish I was that lucky."
For once, Zack's sexual discussion didn't fill me with desire. Actually, I knew what he was talking about because I'd seen it, too. She hadn't impressed me favorably. Having an obsession with a student, I could understand; even to some degree actually sleeping with a student. A lot of people underestimate the emotional intimacy of teaching. What I couldn't understand was the woman's repeated insistence that she had no idea it was illegal. The kid was not only her student, he was fourteen. That's double illegal. She sounded like a dumb bimbo to me, and I felt an overpowering urge to turn around and shake Zack for thinking she was appealing.
Instead, I finished helping the group I was with and then naturally drifted to Zack's group. He was watching me, probably looking to see what I thought about his not-so-subtle attempt to tease me. I looked at him with level eyes and asked about his assignment. I deserved extra points for not even dipping my eyes to that tempting hole in his jeans, which he seemed to be flaunting at me. I kept my eyes where they should be, and I watched his suspicion drain away.
**********
The spring semester always seems to fly by. I couldn't believe it when Prom arrived and Zack was still dating Jenn. I resigned myself to the inevitability of meeting her. In my mental preparation, though, I completely forgot that I would also be seeing him in a tux. When he walked in the door, I almost forgot to look at Jenn. The broad shoulders that had filled out his football jersey also made his tux look incredible. To me, nothing will ever be as sexy as Zack in his jeans and t-shirt, but this tux was definitely a close second.
When I regained my senses, I turned my attention to Jenn. She was petite, tanned, and blonde with sparkling green eyes. There didn't seem to be anything extraordinary about her besides her beauty, and I was a little disappointed that Zack hadn't chosen someone with more layers. Well, he was a teenage boy, I reminded myself, and I can't really blame him for being superficial at that age.
I watched them dance for a few minutes. It was a slow dance, and she twined her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest. The look of peace on her face and the answering rapture on his was genuinely touching. He buried his hand in her hair, stroking it softly. More than any other couple, they seemed lost in the moment.
But I couldn't help being afraid for him. It was obvious he was in love with her, and it was equally obvious that she was in love with herself, too.
The dance ended, and they drifted to the punch bowl (it wasn't spiked, believe it or not). They stood talking for a moment, and then she excused herself. Zack stared after her, and I suddenly wished that he, that ANYONE, would notice me the way he was noticing her. I sighed, realizing that my fantasy of him actually seeing me at all was completely ridiculous.
